GF Expects Me to Tell Her My Daily Activities

[Fela Kuti]

After 8 months of relationship, my GF finally told me that she's been disappointed all of these months because I rarely tell her what I was doing in some of those days, and where I was, what's going on with me, etc. It's like she expects me to tell stuff like "Today I'll go here and there" or "I am in a mall with the guys." I haven't commented her about this yet, but I think it's silly to report little things like that everyday. If she wanted to know, she should've asked instead. So, do you think her disdain reasonable? Sorry for my so-so English.

EDIT: Oops sorry, after having a talk with her, it seems that I misunderstood what she meant. It's not my daily activities that she want, but random stuff. Like this morning, when she told me she heard from her friend that Daft Punk is coming to our country. I said, I already knew about that and not interested. She's then disappointed because I didn't tell her earlier about this. I was supposed to be one of her closest people, but yet she knew this information from other people, she said. In my heart, I said, what the hell? This is not reasonable at all. I didn't even knew that she liked Daft Punk.

 

[penkitten]

if she is a young girl, i would guess that her mother and father operate like this. telling each other all what they have to do the next day or that day.

theres nothing wrong with a married couple doing this.
heck, theres nothing wrong with parents making their children tell them.

but to start dating someone and require them to tell you every detail before it happens, is too much sometimes.
perhaps you should just sit down with her and explain to her that you don't mind sharing things that are going on that are planned when they are brought up but that you are your own man and you know how to make wise choices and you do not ask permission to do things from a girlfriend.
if she throws a fit,walk away from it.

i can't remember how old you are fela, but you have to learn to be your own man who can make responsible decisions on where you need to be without letting some little girl control you.

it's best you have this talk the very next time this happens.

 

[Omen]

I agree with penkitten. When I was dating this one girl for about a year, I would ask how her day was, or what she did on a given day, but not EVERY day. Most the time she was at school from X-X and then work X-X and then went home. Every so often she hung out with her friends.

There is a difference in how both people do this stuff.

There is the normal.. Wanting to know how your gf/bf day is, so they know you're interested in what goes on in their lives. Because if you dont bother to ask, they think you dont care. There is doing it that way, and then there is the SPYING method.

This is where they CONSTANTLY want to know what you do, like leash and chain. They would LOVE to have a GPS on you all of the time, so they could keep track of you. I see from 2-4 you were here, and at that time it seems as if you were talking too (GPS shows another female) for a bit. What was that all about? Uh.... That was the lady at the bank and we were going over a loan.

So you have to figure out how far your girl is going with this stuff. And as guys we have to make sure we DONT DO what they do. If you think she is too pushy, then you have to make sure you aren't the same.

I wont pry into a girlfriends life and try to know her every move. She is her own woman, and if she wants to go to XYZ without me, or what ever, so be it. You trust your girl, and then if she does something like cheating, you may or may not find out.

I have the... I dont care attitude, so if it happens, I move on. I dont waste the energy to spy.

What I would suggest to you, is to maybe talk to your girl and say... While I dont mind telling you how my day has been and what not, I feel like you want to know my every move. And then you may turn the tables and ask how she would feel if you did the same to her.

I turn the tables quite a bit, so it then gives the other person an idea of what it's like. Oh yeah, I guess you're right, it is a little too much isn't it? Sorry for that.

But i'm sure you'll figure it out. Most of the time when they are too nosy, it means they dont trust you, and vice versa.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Oops sorry, after having a talk with her, it seems that I misunderstood what she meant. It's not my daily activities that she want, but random stuff. Like this morning, when she told me she heard from her friend that Daft Punk is coming to our country. I said, I already knew about that and not interested. She's then disappointed because I didn't tell her earlier about this. I was supposed to be one of her closest people, but yet she knew this information from other people, she said. In my heart, I said, what the hell? This is not reasonable at all. I didn't even knew that she liked Daft Punk.

 

[Omen]

I didn't even knew that she liked Daft Punk.

See this part of your post right here, makes me wonder how much you two communicate. If 8 months have gone by, and you dont know she likes a band, then you need to talk more. Now not that you are going to know EVERYTHING about the other person, but I can say that things like that I cover early in the relationship. So what are your favorite bands? I like so and so, or this type of music, etc etc. I am a music lover myself and play an instrument, so I ask this type of stuff so I know if she is a country girl, where I am NOT going to country concerts, or if she is a woman who will go see any rock band, etc. I'm not going to have her list every band, but I am going to have an idea.

COMMUNICATE bro. This may be why she says what she says.

I mean, i'd probably in 8 months, have seen what would be on my girls Ipod, what CD's she owns, or the music on her computer, cause we'd probably swap music. Maybe it's just me, but an issue like that never would have arose, and ESPECIALLY 8 months of being together.

 

[Fela Kuti]

thanks, omen. there's some truth in what you said. although I must say that I do know what her favorite bands are and AFAIK, Daft Punk is not one of them. What I know is that she listens to Daft Punk once in a while, and that's not enough reason to tell her about the rumor of Daft Punk's coming.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I know everything about a girl within weeks of knowing her. So, I know if I should stay around or run.

I don't think she is saying "I want to know what your doing all day everyday." She just wants to know what you did that day. And all you gotta do is say. Well I was at work then after work me and the guys hung out for awhile. It simple you just tell the girl what she wants to hear.

But, lets put yourself in her shoes. What if your girlfriend never talked about her day? That would be saying something.... It would say I'm not interested in sharing my daily events with you and I'm probably hiding what I do.

Like Omen has been saying. Its all about communication. Especially if you want to stay with her and been with her that long.

 

[collalife]

You are doing it perfect. KEEP THE MYSTERY. IF you divulge your whereabouts all the time she will feel she controls you. Then you lose challenge,mystery and *poof* the attraction is gone. the relationship then fades like sand in the wind. just talk to her and paraphase and run off a big topic. ONly tell her what you did during the day but give overexagerated fun points filled with excitement(baby dhvs or dhvs).