"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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GF disrespected me!

Penguin69

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I have been with this girl for about 6 months. Things have been going great. Then because things went so great that I probably did some beta backsliding for the past few days.

Today she has been less affectionate, and less respectful throughout the date. Then during dinner she said something that was obviously disrespectful. I did not say anything, and just looked at her. She looked away and we ate. After dinner, I drove her straight home (We had plans after dinner). Neither of us said anything during the trip to her place.

Now I plan to go NC for a while. If she initiates contact first, I will warn her and let it go. If she does not, I am probably gonna get her to come out and talk about whether we continue or just break it off.

What I want to know is if you guys think I handled it properly. And how long should I wait to re-initiate contact if she does not (Or never).
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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PrettyBoyAJ

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What did she do?

And when she does something disrespectful you need to check her on it! Let her know immediately that you won't be putting up with any type of disrespect. Let her know by your actions or your words that you won't put up with any of that BS.
 

Penguin69

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PrettyBoyAJ said:
What did she do?

And when she does something disrespectful you need to check her on it! Let her know immediately that you won't be putting up with any type of disrespect. Let her know by your actions or your words that you won't put up with any of that BS.
I made a joke and she responded with "OMG you are so annoying" and as far as I can tell she was not joking. I understand I need to show her that I won't take her BS. Do you think what I did achieved that?
 

youngmack

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Its over...I dont know if its just me but to me a girl calling a boy annoying means she has no interest. A girl is supposed to want to be around you because your fun and you make her feel good. But if she thinks your annoying then she dont wanna be around you and theres no interest there. *Just my 2 pennies*
 

Jair213

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Maybe she didn't find the joke funny n reacted that way... Either way her actions after didn't seem good. Go no contact, if she contacts you, let her know you won't be putting up.with none of that crap.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Voice

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youngmack said:
Its over...I dont know if its just me but to me a girl calling a boy annoying means she has no interest. A girl is supposed to want to be around you because your fun and you make her feel good. But if she thinks your annoying then she dont wanna be around you and theres no interest there. *Just my 2 pennies*
Possibly, but it could also mean she is just mad at you for some reason. We don't really know all the details. Is this a complete change in behavior? See how things go the next few days. If this behavior continues youngmack could be right. Of course you shouldn't take any disrespect, if it continues than you know what to do hopefully.

Don't overreact yet, it could be nothing.
 

georgie24

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dont jump the gun, do you guys see each other everyday? live together? maybe she was on her period?

dont let her know your jimmies got rustled for its pretty much game over and it will be a slippery slide ride after that
 

Penguin69

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georgie24 said:
dont jump the gun, do you guys see each other everyday? live together? maybe she was on her period?

dont let her know your jimmies got rustled for its pretty much game over and it will be a slippery slide ride after that
Her interest level was VERY HIGH like 4 days ago. Might be her period. I see her about 2-3 times a week. "your jimmies got rustled" what you mean by that?
 

GQ Scott

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That's a **** test. You should jokingly say something along the lines of, "Well I'm sorry you don't have the intellect to understand the joke", or "and you're boring but I still hang out with you". Again, jokingly, teasingly say that, then move on to whatever else like it never happened
 

Penguin69

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Ok so after reading some of your comments and reflected on it, i think i should have just said something about it right away. Now i am not sure what to do next. Call her? Dont call?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Purefilth

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Let her call you
 

Atom Smasher

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Penguin69 said:
I made a joke and she responded with "OMG you are so annoying" and as far as I can tell she was not joking. I understand I need to show her that I won't take her BS. Do you think what I did achieved that?
Listen, you know I am the first one to jump on disrespect from a women, but this might not be disrespect in the way that you're thinking.

When a girl says what she said, it is always because things have built up in her. The fact is that you probably have been annoying and she's at her breaking point. If so, there is nothing wrong whatsever with what she said. It sounds like she is exasperated with you. Again, a comment like this NEVER comes out of a woman's lips unless there are multiple offenses.

As usual with stories like this, we don't know what has really been going on. I don't know if you've been joking around too much, over-using C&F (which many guys do), going into beta mode, submitting to her frame, but I'll bet she legitimately annoyed.

You need to grab the frame back now. It seems that you're in a position where the only thing you can do is go nc. Either that, or tell her, "We're going to talk about a few things", tell her to meet with you and tell her you didn't appreciate her behavior the other night and if something is on her mind she should get it off her chest now. Be direct but non-aggressive. Just business-like. Convey that you are proactively handling the situation on your own terms.

If she has some legitimate points about you, either tell her that's just you and you're not going to change, or else tell her she has a good point there and you're going to work on that. I mean, if she has a good point, she has a good point, right? Then YOU decide whether you're going to continue with her or not.

Only you know if the discussion option is viable or not. You'll have to judge that yourself because you're the only one who really knows what's going on.

As I said before, I am probably one of the most respect-demanding people here when it comes to women. But if a woman directly tells you that you are annoying her, either she has a valid reason or she is over-sensitive and should be immediately discarded.

At least mull over my thoughts and see if any of it applies.
 

Penguin69

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Atom Smasher said:
Listen, you know I am the first one to jump on disrespect from a women, but this might not be disrespect in the way that you're thinking.

When a girl says what she said, it is always because things have built up in her. The fact is that you probably have been annoying and she's at her breaking point. If so, there is nothing wrong whatsever with what she said. It sounds like she is exasperated with you. Again, a comment like this NEVER comes out of a woman's lips unless there are multiple offenses.

As usual with stories like this, we don't know what has really been going on. I don't know if you've been joking around too much, over-using C&F (which many guys do), going into beta mode, submitting to her frame, but I'll bet she legitimately annoyed.

You need to grab the frame back now. It seems that you're in a position where the only thing you can do is go nc. Either that, or tell her, "We're going to talk about a few things", tell her to meet with you and tell her you didn't appreciate her behavior the other night and if something is on her mind she should get it off her chest now. Be direct but non-aggressive. Just business-like. Convey that you are proactively handling the situation on your own terms.

If she has some legitimate points about you, either tell her that's just you and you're not going to change, or else tell her she has a good point there and you're going to work on that. I mean, if she has a good point, she has a good point, right? Then YOU decide whether you're going to continue with her or not.

Only you know if the discussion option is viable or not. You'll have to judge that yourself because you're the only one who really knows what's going on.

As I said before, I am probably one of the most respect-demanding people here when it comes to women. But if a woman directly tells you that you are annoying her, either she has a valid reason or she is over-sensitive and should be immediately discarded.

At least mull over my thoughts and see if any of it applies.
I think you have a point. I will talk to her about it. Thanks
 
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