"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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GF Broke up with me

HBK

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Hi Guys,

GF broke up with me last friday after 3 months. Everything was going very well and i didnt see and problems up until a week ago, until she started acting cold. She said she was sick, so in fairness i gave her the benefit of the doubt until last week I confronted her and asked what was up with her. She said she was after getting cold feet, and how things were going too fast, And she wanted to break and im sorry etc. I asked was she seeing another guy, and she said no. I know it was a short relationship and i respect the fact she called it quits now rather than 6 months down the line. But i still like her, and things were going well. I havent contacted her since and told her i wouldnt be waiting for her if she changed her mind. For my part i did what needed to be done. Sex was good, we went out alot and had a good laugh together. One week i love you, another week Adios. :kick:

Any people been in the same situation?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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3countriesPlan

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There is more than meets the eye here. I have been that type of hot/cold guy to a few women. Then I met a girl that was hot/cold to me. Because of that I took a look at the reasons behind why I was hot/cold to girls in the past. The reasons were:
1. I didn't like her that much ( happy relationships can be faked)
-or-
2. I had another plate.
I am a firm believer now of the " if they like you they will make things work" line.
 

Wynston

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I have been in a similar situation.. Now I have realised that I escalated far too quickly... We knew everything about eachother and saw eachother too much... hmm Are you the same person she went out with at the start??
 

HBK

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You know your right J ROC lol

I guess theres no point in asking questions, attraction isnt a choice. She obviously made her mind up.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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toddlips

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It's time to just move one, brother. So she decided to end things with you, so what? You are now free to meet new women, enjoy your time. Forget her.
 

Wynston

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"You are free to meet new women"

Thats one of the most freeing sentences a man will ever hear!!
 

jamesjames333

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Ive been in exactly the same situation! It was 4 months long, the relationship. The best thing you can do believe me is to act totally cool with her if you see her. If you are acting at all strangely it will be transparent and she will know you are acting strange becasue you are upset.

Youve played it perfectly so far! P.S. Even though i said act totally cool with her, never contact her. If you are going to get in contact (excluding bumping into each other) let her chase you. If she doesnt- **** it. It happens.

The best thing you can do if you want her to desire to be with you again is to see you wth another girl ASAP. Doesnt matter if its a wingwomen, a new girl youre seeing or even a hooker! Jealously is THE MOST potent tool to have an ex want you again. If she sees you with another girl (holding hands, kissing cuddling, whatever (but dont make it too obvious its for her benefit)) she will want you.

Good luck!
 

HBK

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jamesjames333 said:
Ive been in exactly the same situation! It was 4 months long, the relationship. The best thing you can do believe me is to act totally cool with her if you see her. If you are acting at all strangely it will be transparent and she will know you are acting strange becasue you are upset.

Youve played it perfectly so far! P.S. Even though i said act totally cool with her, never contact her. If you are going to get in contact (excluding bumping into each other) let her chase you. If she doesnt- **** it. It happens.

The best thing you can do if you want her to desire to be with you again is to see you wth another girl ASAP. Doesnt matter if its a wingwomen, a new girl youre seeing or even a hooker! Jealously is THE MOST potent tool to have an ex want you again. If she sees you with another girl (holding hands, kissing cuddling, whatever (but dont make it too obvious its for her benefit)) she will want you.

Good luck!

Thanks guys, james Its a little tricky though, as she is sharing house with one of my mates. I will not ring or sms or im or anything. I can leave things go, In fact im pretty ruthless when it comes to breaking contact with people. My problem is when they contact me, i dont really know what to say.
 

HBK

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Well Guys its One week on, still no contact from her side and i havent called her either. Im beginning to feel better about things again, got a few numbers this week to boost the old confidence a little, i can see that old glint back in the eye. I should have mentioned that her mother died two years ago, do you think this has had a big factor on her attitude and realtionships with men?
Thanks guys for all the advice
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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PectoralisMajor

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RE:I should have mentioned that her mother died two years ago, do you think this has had a big factor on her attitude and realtionships with men?

are you a therapist - the amount of thought your giving this is rediculous !

btw, she probably is banging another guy. women dont go cold for no reason, there's ALWAYS a reason.

good news is you dont have to marry this girl and you can go bang other hot chicks before you settle down - BONUS :woo:

PS - whatever you do, DONT contact her, delete her number from your phone. GO date other women ASAP. DONT give this girl anymore thought.
 

DonGorgon

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HBK said:
Hi Guys,

GF broke up with me last friday after 3 months. Everything was going very well and i didnt see and problems up until a week ago, until she started acting cold. She said she was sick, so in fairness i gave her the benefit of the doubt until last week I confronted her and asked what was up with her. She said she was after getting cold feet, and how things were going too fast, And she wanted to break and im sorry etc. I asked was she seeing another guy, and she said no. I know it was a short relationship and i respect the fact she called it quits now rather than 6 months down the line. But i still like her, and things were going well. I havent contacted her since and told her i wouldnt be waiting for her if she changed her mind. For my part i did what needed to be done. Sex was good, we went out alot and had a good laugh together. One week i love you, another week Adios. :kick:

Any people been in the same situation?

Thats the game.... you lost this time.... trick is to never like her as much as she like you and dump her suddenly before she dumps you... BUt dont worry , fact is most relationships are not lasting long anymore
 

TizZle

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1. Don't ever ask if she's seeing another guy.
2. Next time a girl says, " i need a break" just say ok and walk away. aka, act like you dont give a fvck.
3. When a girl says she loves you it can mean many things. Judge by actions not by words.

And.. you were always free to see other women.

Go out with your friends, have fun, and meet new chicks.
 

hondo928

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I have a question if the girl no longer likes you, and isn't sleeping with someone else, do you all think it's possible to get back that fire. If there is enough time off (most people say a month) could he try again? Assuming he's not sitting in his room for that one month period.

The only reason I ask is I was dating a girl almost same exact situation, roommates with my friends, only difference was we started dating right when school got out and only saw her for 1 week over three months. I run into her a lot and just say hi and keep walking, but I'd like to keep the oppurtunity open for something getting reestablished.
 

Cashew

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TizZle said:
1. Don't ever ask if she's seeing another guy.
2. Next time a girl says, " i need a break" just say ok and walk away. aka, act like you dont give a fvck.

And.. you were always free to see other women.

Go out with your friends, have fun, and meet new chicks.
This.

This is what I did in your situation, and what I would advise others to have done as well. You shouldn't care if she is seeing another guy or not. She doesn't want to be with you, you can and should just walk away. Anything other than that can really only push her away from you more.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Cashew

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I generally avoid trying to re-hook up with anyone from my past.

It's possible to get back together with an old flame (especially since her feeling likely will never completely go away, regardless of what she says), but it's generally foolish to think something will work out long term a second time around.
 

HBK

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Hey Guys just going to give you an update of how I’m getting on. Well to begin, HBK is in good form and have been out alot in the last few weeks. I cant stress enough the importance of going out and doing stuff. i.e. Sports, Cinema, even going to the Bar with your mates. Anything really just to get you out of the house and to stop thinking of her. This weekend I Got laid with a cute chick, and nearly got laid again on sat except this little lady was flying the Japanese flag. Meeting new people does help, and to be honest its refreshing to convo with different types of girls again. I have not heard from my Ex in nearly 3 weeks now, I haven’t contacted her either. Does it bother me now? Not really, as i have a date on wed and possible another on sat. Life’s too short Guys, there is some excellent posts by jokeers and others on this site which have helped alot. :yes:

pain is unavoidable, misery is optional
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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