"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

Gf + B Day = Dark Past

Paid Laid & Made

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2003
Messages
478
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Scottsdale
Somebody make this day stop.

I just discovered another very disturbing piece of information. Was chilling at my friends house with the GF and both of us were macking our girls. He wants to go upstairs with his and throws me his truck keys ... He put a queen size mattress in the truck bed complete with pillows and blankets. We start going at it in the back of the truck and she cries, for no apparent reason during sex. We stop and she crawls over in the corner and cries. Everntually we get out due to me wanting to bring her back to my place and her wanting to spend the night before we got started. I finally get her to my place where she breaks down on my bed crying, telling me that she got raped when she was 16 (vaginal + anal) by a 20 year old in the back of a truck. She told me that she was a virgin and I was her first lover. She never told anyone but me and begged not to discuss it with my friends or her mom. Needless to say it was my birthday 2:24 AM in the morning and we both just fell asleep. This morning she did not want to be touched for 3 hours and when I drove her finally home, she told me that she loves me so much. She told me that she is not a freak and does not like doing IT all the time and I have to find somebody else if I am not okay with her not being like that. I am very lost, how should I deal with this situation? Should I just let her go or deal with her past and continue having feelings? This counts as the most horrible b-day ever.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

tactic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
Messages
1,322
Reaction score
1
Age
39
Dude, that sucks!

I mean if her story was true then I feel really bad about it... But then again, how could she say this when it's your birthday? I find that horrible to hear man. You know it's kinda (How should I say it..) stupid to say it when your 'favorite' day comes up. Remember, if she don't want it, you're not going to get rejected by sex. It's your world, and she's not going to f* it up.

edit:: Heh, oops forgot something there that you said... I guess you should understand her a bit since she got raped in the back of the truck and it must've given her a harsh memory of what happened... Don't let yourself down 'cause of this... Try doing something different for a change today. It will help.
 

Paid Laid & Made

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2003
Messages
478
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Scottsdale
Worst part, she granted me pity sex for my birthday present. She layed there, while I did my thing and she just yawned at me and asked if I was about to finish, making sure to mention her back was hurting and she was tired and pissed off.
 

tactic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
Messages
1,322
Reaction score
1
Age
39
She better lose her attitude.
 

Paid Laid & Made

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2003
Messages
478
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Scottsdale
She blamed it on being tired and moody. I am still very suprised by these revelations and I am trying desperately to deal with all of this information.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

am4591

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2002
Messages
252
Reaction score
1
If she's tired and moody, you don't need to be with her. If it were me, I'd have found an excuse to end it early, take her home, and do something else.
 

Paid Laid & Made

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2003
Messages
478
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Scottsdale
I should have. I went AFC p*ssy.
 

oda

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 9, 2004
Messages
95
Reaction score
0
i know that this a pretty big generalization and it might not hold true for every instance, but i always find that staying away from girls that were abused raped or from a broken home. they usually carry a lot of emotional baggage that will in turn change your mood to a ****ty one quick

thats my experience hope it helps some
 

JustDoItAlways

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 28, 2002
Messages
914
Reaction score
7
Nothing like a "made-up" rape story to get your bf to back off on sex.

Yeah right, she was raped in the back of a truck. More like she pulled a sex sh1t test on you.

You've got 3 choices now.

1. Ignore the bs rape story (of course you can't straight up ignore it) but just keep on doing whatever you were doing before. But recognize she doesn't like the "slutty" sex stuff like screwing in the back of truck. Not exactly suave if you know what I mean (although alot of chicks like sex in public places but you have to test that out first.)

2. Tell her you understand where she is coming from and you can sympathise with her but sex is important to you so you're going to have to move on. She'll straighten up pretty quick, crying and all. You won't be suffering from a lack of sex when she remembers how fast her feelings surfaced when you called her on sex sh1t test.

3. Move on. Hey maybe the rape story is true. Damaged "crying during sex" chicks are never worth your time in the long-run.
 

Paid Laid & Made

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2003
Messages
478
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Scottsdale
Well it gets more interesting.

She told me straight out that she wants to continue having sex, just today was non-emotion sex, with some *****yness and moodyness added to our already mounting problems. I thought about it just being a **** test ... well I seriously can't handle many of these in the long run.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

JohnJones

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2002
Messages
582
Reaction score
1
Location
PA
Assuming its true (and I would think you would have to, otherwise I'd be worried about being with someone who could fabricate such a story), there is nothing wrong or AFC about calmly explaining that you understand she has a lot to deal with and to sort through and that she probably isn't ready for a full sexual relationship but that you are. Then it's done.
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,620
Reaction score
186
Age
47
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Originally posted by Paid, Laid & Made
Well it gets more interesting.

She told me straight out that she wants to continue having sex, just today was non-emotion sex, with some *****yness and moodyness added to our already mounting problems. I thought about it just being a **** test ... well I seriously can't handle many of these in the long run.
I'd keep an eye out for stuff like that again. You don't deserve to be the bellhop who carries her emotional baggage. I mean, she may be damaged and may be deserving of sympathy, but you shouldn't force yourself to continue a relationship where you're not satisfied just out of sympathy or pity.

That being said, don't know how long you've been with this girl. If it's only been a month or so, you may want to eject just to be safe...back off nice and slow.

If you've been with her for a while and you've fooled around before and you ahve fun with her, then maybe you just hit on a sore spot. Just don't try to do her in vehicles any more. See how it works out.

If she pulls that "pity sex" or "rape trauma" stuff again with you, it'll probably be an ongoing thing and you should back away, nice and slow.
 

myfriendblu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2003
Messages
907
Reaction score
0
NEXT NEXT NEXT. Any girl who has ANY time of previous sexual abuse/trama is automatic grounds for a NEXTing. Been there done that. Its a huge red flag, as big a flag as it gets. There usually very tramatized, and big mess to deal with. Let someone else deal with her. NEXT and move on.
 

tactic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
Messages
1,322
Reaction score
1
Age
39
He's not going to NEXT somebody if he's going out with her already... (I apologize If I am wrong about this, but someone has made a good point that NEXT should be used on chicks you are not going out yet.)

He loves her too and it's hard to lose someone like that... Think of it, after months and months of being good GF and BFs and then things happen for a while and if he hits on her...
Wait another week and he might be thinking that he must've been crazy for doing this. That's why it's not easy and it takes alot of thinking... They love each other, and they both know that is a fact.
 

Paid Laid & Made

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2003
Messages
478
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Scottsdale
I have been friends with girls that got raped or been sexually abused. Yes, they are normally suffering from very deep mental damage. They might not show it but they do, in this instance she has already told me that she is very depressed about it again and old feelings have popped up. She is currently happy with our relationship though and is doing her best to just look toward the future.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Top