GF and I broke up for a week, and GF kissed a another guy..

[shock]

When we started talking again, the first thing she said was "I did a bad thing"... She described it as a "handsy make out session"... Basically some a hole took her out for drinks, and they ended up at his place, blah blah. She told me straight up, and was completely honest with everything that happend. We got back together about 3 weeks ago. I took it okay initially. We were broken up, she's an adult, etc. Now I'm just kinda bummed out about it.

She cares/rides a horse, and this guy works at the barn she goes to everyday. So she sees him alot, and sometimes I go with her, so eventually I will see him too. (I haven't had the pleasure yet, and when I do not sure how I should act) I'm not mad at her, but it has me feeling a bit insecure. Should I be honest with her, and talk to her? Or is it not even worth it?? I don't want to make a big deal about it, just some reassurance would be nice. But that should come from her, or should I just man up and work through this on my own??

We're still in the "working sh*t out" phase, so it almost seems now is too volatile of a time, but I dont know. What you guys think?

 

[shock]

I don't agree with it, but we were done... We weren't planning on getting back together. Technically she's wasn't in the wrong. Personally, I respect her honesty regardless for her motifs to tell me.

 

[Cinamon]

She was a bit quick off the mark wasnt she. How long had you guys been together? Its better to clear the air completely now, rather than let this fester.

 

[shaunuk]

I would say realistically if she ended up back at this guy's place, it was more than a "handsy makeout session". I would say the "hands" part implies he got his fingers wet and she gave him a hand job.

At the very least....

So now she'll be hanging around someone pretty often who she's had sexual contact with. And she's liked him for quite a while considering she was quite quick off the mark and she already knew him. She has probably considered him the next option after you for a fair while.

So basically I don't think there's much advice to give. You can do what you want. It's true that she didn't "technically cheat"...it's up to you at the end of the day.

The question is why she started talking to you again and why she is actually telling you any of this (considering it ain't any of your business). Who finished it? It could be a jealousy or power ploy, or she could just be rubbing in your face that she's got a new man, and has no intention of getting back with you.

At the end of the day, it's really your call, but why did you break up in any case if you're now considering getting back with her?

 

[RFish]

KontrollerX! Shock needs you.

 

[Phoenix]

I would leave.

 

[Son of anarchy]

Do i sound childish if i suggest you to have sex with an other girl to keep the balance back to your favour and after that,when you will be more relaxed and confident,deal with the situation?

 

[Commandante]

If she broke up end needed only one week to find an other guy then you should respect yourself and not this chick. Keep her as an easy hole and go find an other GF!

If you broke up then don´t forget that the first idea is always the best.

I don't want to make a big deal about it

Really? Then gimme her number! Maybe she is still ready for some make out session. But only if it´s not a big deal.

 

[scrouds]

I'm going to go on a limb and say this is what happened.

It was only a make out session. This guy at the barn she's been thinking he's next basically. She finally threw herself at him, and he failed to escalate. Seeing that barn guy is a chump, she comes running back to shock in the usual chick idea that "she can't be alone."

Any questions?

 

[jophil28]

When we started talking again, the first thing she said was "I did a bad thing"... She described it as a "handsy make out session"... Basically some a hole took her out for drinks, and they ended up at his place, blah blah.

It is likely that this is an attempted power grab by her.

I have had this done to me.

She is telling you that not only is there another guy (your rival) but she is also willing to involve herself in sexual behavior of some kind IMMEDIATELY after you and she separate.
The meta-message to you is possibly, "Stay nervous and compliant because I will branchswing in a heart beat if you displease me."

Tough call on this one.
Technically she did not cheat, but do you want someone who conducts herself like she did for a G/f ?

 

[Kal0051]

It is likely that this is an attempted power grab by her.

I have had this done to me.

She is telling you that not only is there another guy (your rival) but she is also willing to involve herself in sexual behavior of some kind IMMEDIATELY after you and she separate.
The meta-message to you is possibly, "Stay nervous and compliant because I will branchswing in a heart beat if you displease me."

Tough call on this one.
Technically she did not cheat, but do you want someone who conducts herself like she did for a G/f ?

I agree with this. It's not like she cheated so she shouldn't have anything to feel bad about, so why else would she be telling you this (unless you asked her if she saw anyone when you were broken up, in which case you kinda made your bed on that one). Nah, she's just trying to make you her b1tch by making you fear that she'll run off to fvck some other guy. It's up to you whether or not you stay, personally I wouldn't drop her because of this alone (though she would have to prove herself to me before I'd consider her a LTR again).

 

[KontrollerX]

"GF and I broke up for a week

I dont know. What you guys think?"

I think you need to move on and find a new girl.

She's not that into you if she's doing that.

It was fair game for her to do it since you both had broken up but still my point remains that for her to do that means she's not that into you.

Also if you believe that kissing was all they did at his place you are as naieve as it gets.

So don't be naieve.

They fvcked and she sucked his c0ck and you are still with her probably due to oneitis or lack of options or both.

If you've got any pride as a man you will move on and find a new girl.

Hell if you need to make it easier on yourself stay with the current girl but look for a replacement on the side and once the new girl shows herself to be a stable branch for you swing on over to her and leave your current girl in the dust. :rock:

 

[Warrior74]

LOL. You got punked man. She told you to see how you would react. You reacted like a proper beta male by going into "working it out mode". Your response should have been, well I hope you guys are happy together and kept it moving with a smile on your face. It would have killed her inside. Her powerplay to make you her bytch would have dried up like water in the desert. When a woman really cheats, she never mentions anything about it. When she mentions it, it's for a reason, not like a man's reason (guilt, shame etc) but to test you and see if you are a better man than the one she's thinking about leaving you for. And by better, better means are you willing to put up with bullshiit or walk away from bullshiit and how upset and emotional you will get about dealing with bullshiit.

She sees this guy every day. He's been hollering at her for weeks now. You have been slipping in your game, so she decided to give him a try. Now she's making a decision. These three weeks have been your evaluation period (to be honest, it's probably over, she's made her decision, its just a matter of executing her plan).

The damage is done now. There is nothing you can do but disengage your emotions from her. Treat her as a *** dumpster and be busy and stop giving her so much of your time. It will probably peak her interest, its not what she's expecting from her beta boy who is sooo afraid of loosing her. But best believe that she has taking a pony ride from stable boy. Don't kid yourself.

I'm not mad at her, but it has me feeling a bit insecure. Should I be honest with her, and talk to her? Or is it not even worth it?? I don't want to make a big deal about it, just some reassurance would be nice. But that should come from her, or should I just man up and work through this on my own??

We're still in the "working sh*t out" phase, so it almost seems now is too volatile of a time, but I dont know. What you guys think?

No. A man does not get reassurance from a woman. It will just make her loose what little respect for you she has left. You have to work through this on your own. I know from experience. If it's a volatile time, then you need to pull back from her like I said, and let her miss you and give you time to clear your head.

 

[sodbuster]

So, she broke up with you for a week,did another guy[it wasn't technically cheating] and is talking to you about getting back together? ARE you STUPID? She cheated legally and wants to come back,how many times will you let her do this?

 

[RFish]

Warrior74 said it.

Your response should have been, well I hope you guys are happy together and kept it moving with a smile on your face.

This is the bomb.

It also can be used in situation when you got LJBFed. So you can go like yea I realised we are better at staying friends as well.

I really think Warrior made a very good post. He speaks from his experience and explained the whole situation to you totally.

 

[DonGorgon]

she did more than kiss him..lol

do you have other females to F????? if not go get some

 

[JediMasterdebaiter]

When we started talking again, the first thing she said was "I did a bad thing"... She described it as a "handsy make out session"... Basically some a hole took her out for drinks, and they ended up at his place, blah blah. She told me straight up, and was completely honest with everything that happend. We got back together about 3 weeks ago. I took it okay initially. We were broken up, she's an adult, etc. Now I'm just kinda bummed out about it.

She cares/rides a horse, and this guy works at the barn she goes to everyday. So she sees him alot, and sometimes I go with her, so eventually I will see him too. (I haven't had the pleasure yet, and when I do not sure how I should act) I'm not mad at her, but it has me feeling a bit insecure. Should I be honest with her, and talk to her? Or is it not even worth it?? I don't want to make a big deal about it, just some reassurance would be nice. But that should come from her, or should I just man up and work through this on my own??

We're still in the "working sh*t out" phase, so it almost seems now is too volatile of a time, but I dont know. What you guys think?

The MEN think you should go out and kiss a WOMAN not a girl and drop her silly ass completely. Spinning plates? Make her head spin instead and move on. And don't worry that she'll be begging for you back. Worry is emotion. Women are emotional wrecks. Be a MAN not a Shim.

 

[aman]

Next

Next...

 

[Soprano]

LOL. You got punked man. She told you to see how you would react. You reacted like a proper beta male by going into "working it out mode". Your response should have been, well I hope you guys are happy together and kept it moving with a smile on your face. It would have killed her inside. Her powerplay to make you her bytch would have dried up like water in the desert. When a woman really cheats, she never mentions anything about it. When she mentions it, it's for a reason, not like a man's reason (guilt, shame etc) but to test you and see if you are a better man than the one she's thinking about leaving you for. And by better, better means are you willing to put up with bullshiit or walk away from bullshiit and how upset and emotional you will get about dealing with bullshiit.

She sees this guy every day. He's been hollering at her for weeks now. You have been slipping in your game, so she decided to give him a try. Now she's making a decision. These three weeks have been your evaluation period (to be honest, it's probably over, she's made her decision, its just a matter of executing her plan).

The damage is done now. There is nothing you can do but disengage your emotions from her. Treat her as a *** dumpster and be busy and stop giving her so much of your time. It will probably peak her interest, its not what she's expecting from her beta boy who is sooo afraid of loosing her. But best believe that she has taking a pony ride from stable boy. Don't kid yourself.



No. A man does not get reassurance from a woman. It will just make her loose what little respect for you she has left. You have to work through this on your own. I know from experience. If it's a volatile time, then you need to pull back from her like I said, and let her miss you and give you time to clear your head.

this man speaks the truth

 

[Drewskie]

Some people just never learn. Read through a million other threads here man, you know goddam well they did more than make out. And like sodbuster said.... it was her plan all along, she saw stable boy, wanted him, dropped you knowing she could get you right back (proveed her right), and did him. And why is he the A-hole???