GF and her ex

[Gambit2318]

I have been going out with my GF for 3 months and just last night she tells me that she still wants to talk with her ex but just on the phone and that is it she won't hangout with him bc i told her i will break up with you if you do. Should i let her talk with him on the phone?

 

[xblitz44x]

"she won't hangout with him bc i told her i will break up with you if you do."

Your relationship with her is dead. Your stopping her from talking to him does not destroy the fact that she WANTS to talk to him...which is the source of your problem. It's not the TALKING, it's that she feels the NEED to talk to him because there is something in their relationship that she's not getting out of yours.

 

[NewMan]

I was on the other side of this - I was the ex.

How long were they together?

How long have they been broken up.

As a rule, when things are going good in the reltionship the woman does not feel the need to talk to her ex - but when things start to go wrong, or she loses interest, she will want to talk to the person she has a close connection with.

I'd imagine they had been together for quite a while.

My ex started talking to me again, telling me all the negative things about her new guy.

My advice would be not to put any conditions on the relationship. Let her do whatever she wants.

Just so that she knows though - that her actions will cause you to react. You will then start talking to other women.... She can't have it both ways.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Generally EVERYONE want to talk with their ex aslong as the break wasn't really bad. This has nothing todo with interest or anything.

 

[OpenMind]

an EX is an EX is an EX..if she had high interest in you she wouldn't even think of risking your relationship with her to "talk" to her EX.. he would be just that.. an EX..

take this as a bad sign.. bumping into an EX while out and having a convo is one thing.. telling your current boyfriend/girlfriend that you want to continue communication with the EX is totally another..

would you want to talk with your EX if your were in a satisfying relationship with a woman and risk losing this woman by dwelling on past issues that are suppossedly resovled??? doubt it.. unless that is, there are issues that haven't been resolved.. take Bltiz's advice.. you're relationship isn't going anywhere good..

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by Gambit2318
last night she tells me that she still wants to talk with her ex but just on the phone and that is it she won't hangout with him bc i told her i will break up with you if you do.

If my gf told me that, my first reaction would be to tell her to get stuffed. You either trust her or you don't. Being optimistic about this, she is being upfront with you, she could easily go behind your back and see the ex. I still have ex's that I am friends with and I might see them once every couple of months just to say hi and catch up.

Although I would definitely have an issue she wanted to see the ex-bf at the expense of seeing me (i.e. wanting to go out with him on Saturday night and telling me to make other plans). Any more than once every couple of weeks is more than I would be comfortable with. I just think that the 'you won't ever see him at all or else we are finished' mentality is too hard line.