"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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GF and Best Friend Hate eachother

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EverymeEveryou

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For some reasons , my Gf and my bestfriend hate each other.

How you guys deal with this. Im in the middle taking the bullets.

This situation is begining to bother me and interfering with some choices when going out , etc.

Has anybody been in this situation? How you guys dealt with it
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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EverymeEveryou

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KontrollerX said:
Do you know why they hate eachother?
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Yes since the begining when i started dating her, they were always cold and distant toward eachother, with time it and a couple of "small" situations it eventually developed to hate.

Simply my friend thinks its not girl for me, and she knows that, and hates him for that.
 
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ducaro

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Quite agree with what penpuss had to say...

Its because your gf wants that 'relationship' you have with your best friend. (sorta like she wants to be your 'best friend' too apart from just being a gf)

Your best friend is almost 'in love' with you (no relevance to being gay) in a way that he is sad that he cannot have that 'relationship' because both of you are not gay. Its like helplessness. He would like that emotional relationship you are having with her.

Now all of this is deeply ingrained and is subconciously happening. So yea, its subconscious jealousy.

You really don't have to be worried, cuz won't lose either of them very easily.

Don't discomfort yourself and just 'manage' your time - you'll be fine. In time, the jealousy will fade, or your GF may find someother man so she doesn't have to deal with this jealousy. :p
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Poonani Maker

Poonani Maker

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Be careful...that this doesn't escalate into either of them wanting to fvck each other behind your back. You could have a situation on your hands.
 
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KontrollerX

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I don't think your friend is in love with you in the sense he wants an emotional connection with you like he perceives you to have for this chick.

What I think is if he truly views her as bad for you his brotherly love instinct is kicking in so he will not support or encourage this relationship to continue.

He'll just be your friend and grit his teeth when she's around.

I suppose he could be angry also if you are spending more time with her than him and becoming whipped.

Poonani Maker also brings up a good point that this tension could transition into something you'd never expect but actually reading this post I'd wondered if these two may of had a relationship that ended bitterly before you and she ever met and you just didn't know about it.

Its possible.
 
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ducaro

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KontrollerX said:
I don't think your friend is in love with you in the sense he wants an emotional connection with you like he perceives you to have for this chick.

What I think is if he truly views her as bad for you his brotherly love instinct is kicking in so he will not support or encourage this relationship to continue.

He'll just be your friend and grit his teeth when she's around.

I suppose he could be angry also if you are spending more time with her than him and becoming whipped.

Poonani Maker also brings up a good point that this tension could transition into something you'd never expect but actually reading this post I'd wondered if these two may of had a relationship that ended bitterly before you and she ever met and you just didn't know about it.

Its possible.
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Good points. Also depends on whether your best friend is a new age 'sosuave like' thinker.. if he is, then may be his brotherly protection side is kickin in, but if he is a typical lovey dovey AFC (what we used to be) then he is sorta 'in love' with you and is seeing her as competition
 
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