Getting with a shy, church girl

[Outofexile]

Ok Im working on my AFCness here. And at risk of sounding repeatitive with a previous post of mine, I gotta confirm and validate some things here.

Typical woman (yes I know every woman at root is A WOMAN and thus shares the same traits) you make eye contact, strike up conversation, make her smile, get number. Get number, talk, go out. Close the sale.

Now some of you may be screaming "shes still the same as EVERY other woman!" but imagine a small town girl, very religious, sweet and outgoing but shy. Not very experienced but I dont think shes OPPOSED to having a guy in her life...if hes a decent guy. She isnt shallow so how good a guy looks in jeans isnt the primary driving factor here. Just imagine the bible study girl in the blue dress with glasses and you have it.

Now that we have the correct visual of the target, imagine only really having interaction with her at church and maybe one out of church event a month. So its not like a coworker or a neighbor or a woman you see everyday at the gym. And obviously when I see her, its not a big social event.

Now I wont see her for two more weeks being that Im out of town on the weekends of church and such. I have her email and such but Im not going to use it unannounced and unsolicited. My AFCness does have its limits believe it or not.

So in two weekends, we are doing like a Habitat for Humanity thing about 4 hrs away. We are piling in a van or such driving there after work friday, staying the evening, getting up, working all day, then dinner together, etc. This would be the primest opportunity to strike.

Keep in mind however, we wont be alone. It will be a group. A group of bible study people nonetheless. And the leader is a neonazi manhater that will completely ****block a person.

So suggestions here? Obviously I need to interact with her and if goes well, get her isolated for at least some time. I just dont think a real direct and full blown press approach will work with this one as it will just make her clam up and withdraw. Shes been a get-to-know-you-first type of girl in the past with the one guy I have knowledge of her dating.

So Cowboy Up guys...what do you think?

 

[Warrior74]

Shyness is hiding. Remember that. People hide behind shyness. So don't let that fool you. It may be anything hiding behind the shy demeanor. Find out the truth of who she is. How? Conversation. Let her talk until the true her comes out. Then judge. Do what you plan to do. Ask for a number or cofee date and talk, have fun and move forward.

 

[Outofexile]

Well this is kind of a catch 22 here. I need to talk to her and get her to communicate which I know. The problem is that Im just not around her when she is isolated and nothing short of asking her out will get her isolated.

From what I have been told of her from a guy that has known her, shes more of a slow cooker and opposed to the microwaves Im used to. So its getting to know --> she gains trust --> she develops favor.

I really dont want to turn this into a 6 month endurance thing here. Im not a very patient individual. Maybe this is life trying to teach me patience?

 

[Fleshy99]

I'd say you're best bet is to be sincere with her and display your great qualities to her without even thinking about the whole "getting some" routine - that will come later.
So once you've gotten to know eachother a little better, try to get introduced to her parents as quickly as possible. You need to be a gentleman and especially get in good with her father. Try to spark conversations with her father that will make you seem like a good guy, and get yourself points.
I'm only saying this because it seems like could get alot of negative responses if all of the sudden you just went for it.
If you get flirty and have a great situation for kissing or whatever then take it.
After that I would just go with the flow, I imagine this is a pretty difficult thing to do, but you shouldnt be bothered by that.

cheers.

 

[true romance]

Tell her that you don't understand some verse in the bible and ask her to explain. Thsi will isolate you two.

If youare out of town, ask her what did you miss about bible study...you know the drill. confident and funny go along way.

Also if you are doing some local charity in your area, invite her to come with you ..isolation. ...hospital, food drive, etc.
Invite her back to your place...can we stop by my place because i forgot the address...whatever excuse..

Action create reaction. You need to provoke her a litlle so you can read her a bit more..conversation, kino..etc.

Did you ever have a conversation with this women or you just admire from far?

 

[Outofexile]

Weve had limited conversation. Like I said, bible study is kinda hard to get a lot of flirting in.

Last weekend we had a BBQ and she was there. We played on the same volleyball team and exchanged smiles and such. Afterwards I was dealing some blackjack and talked her into playing. We spent the next hour or so smiling and making eye contact and laughing. I kind of felt the link there.

The next day at Bible study she came in and didnt even as much look my way. However, later on in the study we made some eye contact and some smiling took place. Maybe 3 or 4 exchanges?

Since then I havent seen her...added to her facebook acct but no emails. I have her email and dude, shes a frickin Mary Kay saleswoman so I have access to contact her but dont want to non solicited by her. That would be too AFC and rushing.

 

[AKA FLEX]

Dude, chicks like that are some of the biggest freaks on the planet when you get them behind closed doors.

You have her number, facebook, etc. Just ask her straight up to get dessert or something and take it from there. You are overthinking this.

 

[dap]

Weve had limited conversation. Like I said, bible study is kinda hard to get a lot of flirting in.

Last weekend we had a BBQ and she was there. We played on the same volleyball team and exchanged smiles and such. Afterwards I was dealing some blackjack and talked her into playing. We spent the next hour or so smiling and making eye contact and laughing. I kind of felt the link there.

The next day at Bible study she came in and didnt even as much look my way. However, later on in the study we made some eye contact and some smiling took place. Maybe 3 or 4 exchanges?

Since then I havent seen her...added to her facebook acct but no emails. I have her email and dude, shes a frickin Mary Kay saleswoman so I have access to contact her but dont want to non solicited by her. That would be too AFC and rushing.

To win this girl you will need her to do a LOT of talking and you need to be an attentive listener. Her shyness is a defense mechanism and this will break it down. Once you know alot about her, she will be drawn to you because you will be one of the few people that understands her (she is shy, so not many people know the real her). Convince her the you know (and appreciate) the real "her" and then move to flirting, etc. The shyness defense mechanism is a tough one to break, so good luck.

 

[Jakes21]

She looks shy to u now but wait till u get to know her better...then u see the real her.trust me....been there, done that, got a medal.

 

[int3l]

...i tried with a similar girl, i failed! haha.. called her once and she asked me what was up the next day, i just said i was free that day and thought we should catch up. (actually i should have made plans then, damnit!) anyway, called 2 times after which she never picked up or seemed to notice so i just blew her out of mind. Might try for a re-run sometime down the track.

 

[The Deacon]

Shy, church girls are a bit more difficult since they're harder to read. They're so sweet but oh so fickle. Is this a shy girl who's REALLY attractive? If so, then she'll probably have boys flirting with her all the time during bible study class, and she'll probably be fairly popular in spite of her soft-spoken nature. If this is one of those archetypal "librarians," (the girl who is unnoticed by the general male population but would probably be a bombshell if she let her hair loose and got a better wardrobe) she'll be a little more fickle since she won't be so accustomed to male attention.

My best suggestion is to work up your conversational skills. Sit next to her for this four hour trip you're taking (by all means necessary) and make conversation with her. Do you have an Ipod? You can make an instant rapport with a girl if you both like the same songs. Give her an earbud and enjoy the same music together. Gauge her energy level though. If she's one of those types that'll be cold 75% of the time (i.e, not a thrilling conversationalist), don't be too warm to her conversation. If she's nice and receptive to your conversation, reciprocate and make sure you get in eye contact and light touching. If she's receptive to your eye contact and light touching, then it should be okay to ask her out on a date.