"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Getting with a girl at work? good or bad?

bfl

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what do yall think about trying to get with a female you work with?
im in that situation right now, im sure she is interested and i am too but then se work together so i dont know if its a good idea to get with her,

she is this serious type of girl though, she wont say nothing to u at all if u dont say something to her first, when i say serious i mean serious, as a matterfact today was the first time i directed some words to her thats how serious she is when i went to get my paychek on my way out she was coming in and as we crossed i just said " how you doing" she said wassup , an we kept going, at least now the hall is clear for a convo next time.

But anyways what do yall think
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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JohnJones

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You can probably guess.

Any fallout from trying too hard and irritating her will be in the office, not a bar or school where you can walk away from it.

If you get together and it doesn't work out, that seriously sucks.

If you get together and it does work out, you see her all the time.

If you just want to score and walk away, that'll come back to you (you may not care though).

That said, most people I know who are married/in an LTR met at work if they didn't meet at school.
 

maranathaman

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ALOT of people have met their wives & husbands at work.
MY parents met at work. So this canned advice not to fish off the companies' pier is bullcrap. You simply have to think a little.
If your co-worker, works near you and things don't work-out, it could get nasty. So you have to weigh that risk. However, if she works in another Dept, or it's a job that is no big deal if you lose it, then I say give it a shot! If she turns you down, or you breakup, no biggie! So long as you have taken the proximity into account.
There's a girl I like who works on the other side of my building in a large company. I almost never see her unless I go out of my way to "happen" to be in her area. So if I asked her out, and she turned me down, I'll almost never see her again.
Also, avoid saying or doing anything that might be interpreted as sexual harrasment.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

ScrewIt

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bah dont sweat it, take your time.
it seems like you might be intimidated by her cause you hav ehigh IL and she doesnt speak to u unless spoken to.

i just got a HB8 co-worker that started yesterday. she was quite the whole day yesterday. today she was quite talkative. she talks to me, i talk back to her. quite a shock she's the same age as me...and i thought she was early 20's.

anyway i dont think i'd have to the chance to get to know her better cause i think she's leaving after next week. since what she's doing now @ work isnt what she was planning to do.

and there's only 2 days next week..so damn.
 

FlyGuy

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So this canned advice not to fish off the companies' pier is bullcrap. You simply have to think a little.
There's a good reason its canned advice. You know why a lot of couples meet at work? Because its easy, not because its a good idea. And for every couple that works out there's gotta be a lot more that didn't so think about that.

I'd say most of the time its a bad idea unless you work at a big company. That would change the situation definitely. Small companies though... odds are you will regret it because you can't transfer and you can't distance yourself from each other.
 

Surfboard

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So this canned advice not to fish off the companies' pier is bullcrap.
I agree with "maranathaman." I have seen many couples who worked together get married.

The secret to handling the situation if it doesn't work out, or if you get rejected is called:

MATURITY!!

No name calling, no giving the cold shoulder, no dirty looks, etc....
She may throw a few insults at you, but if you show maturity she'll soon see that the battle is useless.

This is just the worst case senario. So if think you're mature enough to handle whatever she throws your way, then I say go for it. If you don't think you can handle it, then I suggest to look elsewhere. ;)
 

bfl

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LOL!!! YALL WONT BELIEVE THIS!, but before let me just replie to the posts.

Well she lol cause we both work in the same building in the same room and she passes my wait 1000 times a day cause she is a waitress and im a work in the kitchen and she always has to pass by me like every 2 minutes so lol, i really want to get with her.

Now on to the news.

I just found out today that my/our supervisor is going out with one of the workers, my coworkers, and the way i found out i was shocked, cause i was seating down with her waiting for the time to check out and he passed by gave her a kiss on the mouth and left, he did that straight up in my face like he didnt care if i saw it or not.

so if he is going out with aworker that he sees everyday evert minute why cant i! ima give it a try i just hope she accepts me.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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