Getting treatment for Social Anxiety

[STR8UP]

I finally did it. After 30 some years of feeling like I was missing out on many, many things in life, I decided to get help.

Until recently I didn't think there was anything wrong with me other than being a shy person. I thought, like most other people, that "that's just the way I am". I finally decided to do some research, and lo and behold, I discover that the problem isn't that I am shy (I am very comfortable around people I know well), it's that I suffer from anxiety brought on by meeting new people, being in social situations, etc. So for the better part of the last 30 years I have had to endure feeling like I was always on the outside of everything, missing out on numerouos opportunities because I was a "shy" person.

I fit the diagnosis pretty much 100%- most any kind of social situation causes me great anxiety to the point where I avoid putting myself in the situation of having to go to parties, meeting new people, I have even had issues with everyday things (this was in the past) like calling someone on the telephone. Anyone who doesn't suffer from this condition might find it difficult to relate, but IT SUCKS BIGTIME.

So after all this time I finally realized that it isn't just that I am who I am, I actually have a problem that might be able to be resolved and talked to my doctor about the fact that I suffer from social anxiety. She asked me a few questions, trying to determine if I also had depression, etc., and then wrote me prescription for Zoloft and clonazepam (like Xanax).

I have only been taking the meds for three weeks. The Zolft kicked my ass at first with a bunch of side effects. Now the side effects are going away and the medicine seems to be kicking in (it sometimes takes up to 6 weeks for full effect).

Hopefully the Zoloft keeps doing it's stuff, cause it feels GREAT to be able to go out in public and not constantly feel like everyone is judging you. I feel more confident, and I have a much greater desire to socialize. I really hope that the stuff keeps working cause I can honestly see it changing my life 100% if it does.

The doctor also gave me the clonazepam to take the edge off until the Zoloft kicks in. This stuff works wonders. I took one before I went out the other night. Although at our first stop I was COMPLETELY out of my element, I felt very relaxed and had a smile on my face the entire time. Later we went to a club that I go to often. As soon as we walked in I walked up to the bar to get a drink and some chick comes up behind me and starts grinding up on me. Normally I would have had to have had several drinks in me to loosen up, but I was 100% sober (except for the clonazepam, of course) and grabbed her and chatted her up no prob.

I really don't have any complaints about my life as it is.....in the past I have always managed to land good looking girlfriends, very good friends in general, and have been successful financially, but if my treatment for SA goes well it will be the icing on the cake.

The point of this post isn't to glorify the use of medication. I just want to encourage anyone else out there who has similar issues to seek some help. No one should be forced to live a life filled with anxiety when there are treatments available.

 

[Cbaoth]

Funny, I did the same thing a while back now. Zoloft has worked wonders, we decided I will see how I go for 6 months on it, doctor felt confident it would be helpful to get me over a point in my life were I felt like I was going nowhere. It really is great to feel normal again and feel generally happy like I was when I was a kid.

These medications get a lot of bad press, but if taken as per directed, are reasonably safe.

 

[STR8UP]

It's amazing....last night I was walking out of my place by myself to go downtown to see if I might run into anyone I know and have a drink (something I wouldn't normaly do in itself), and I run into a neighbor of mine whom I hadn't yet met.

So he invites me up to his place where he was having a party. We both head upstairs, and as I didn't know ANYONE there at first I felt a tiny bit of anxiety, but within five minutes I was happily chatting away with half the people there, and I felt comfortable doing so. It seems like I wasn't the least talkative one there for the first time in my life. In the past I would have had a very hard time getting acclaimating to that type of surroundings.

I know that sometimes these meds stop working and such, but if they happen to continue to work their magic I can see myself being a much happier and well rounded person.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Originally posted by STR8UP
It's amazing....last night I was walking out of my place by myself to go downtown to see if I might run into anyone I know and have a drink (something I wouldn't normaly do in itself), and I run into a neighbor of mine whom I hadn't yet met.

So he invites me up to his place where he was having a party. We both head upstairs, and as I didn't know ANYONE there at first I felt a tiny bit of anxiety, but within five minutes I was happily chatting away with half the people there, and I felt comfortable doing so. It seems like I wasn't the least talkative one there for the first time in my life. In the past I would have had a very hard time getting acclaimating to that type of surroundings.

I know that sometimes these meds stop working and such, but if they happen to continue to work their magic I can see myself being a much happier and well rounded person.

That's awesome, glad the treatment is working out for you. Congrats. I used to think I have social anxiety disorder, but after years of dealing with it and analyzing it, I think it's just a shyness and confidence problem. I'd be extremely reluctant to try any medications for it myself.

 

[DJDamage]

You are only putting a bandaid on the problem.

You should seek some counseling so you can eventually get off the meds.

Your body will eventually tolerate the effect and you will need stronger meds, its a vicious cycle.

Get off the meds, its only a short term solution. Your Doctor could have given you sugar cubes and the placebo effect could still have a positive results.

The fact that you believe those medication are doing what they are suppose to be doing is naturally boasting your confidence. Its no difference then drinking 4 drinks before going out of your house and into the real world.

Depending on them in the long run or for life will cause more harm then good.

DjDamage

 

[al77]

Originally posted by DJDamage
You are only putting a bandaid on the problem.
You should seek some counseling so you can eventually get off the meds.
Your body will eventually tolerate the effect and you will need stronger meds, its a vicious cycle.
Get off the meds, its only a short term solution. Your Doctor could have given you sugar cubes and the placebo effect could still have a positive results.

Finaly somebody really understand the problem! I am with you.

Originally posted by STR8UP

I really don't have any complaints about my life as it is.....in the past I have always managed to land good looking girlfriends, very good friends in general, and have been successful financially, but if my treatment for SA goes well it will be the icing on the cake.

The point of this post isn't to glorify the use of medication. I just want to encourage anyone else out there who has similar issues to seek some help.

STR8UP,
I fit your description of SA. I am naturally a very introverted person too. So I know how you feel.

Those drugs do not cure SA, in case your doc didn't tell you. They are powerful, yes, they do work in a similiar ways to painkillers, i.e. they alleviate SA temprorarily. Once you off the drug, you will have your SA back.

So are you planning to take these drugs all your life?

But the main problem is that these drugs, well any drug is not completely harmless, the more you take it, the more harm they do to your body. And if you are planning to take it the rest of your life, the accumulated effect is going to be very negative.

If you already have everything in life (gf\friends etc etc) why would you volunatiry want to get a dependency on a drug, take it the rest of your life, do lots of harm to your body and cut your life span? What for? Just to be able to socialize a bit better while partying?
You sure know what you are doing...

Don't you think it would be much better to actually _cure_ some of the SA you have withotu any drugs, dependecies and harm to your body?

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by al77
If you already have everything in life (gf\friends etc etc) why would you volunatiry want to get a dependency on a drug, take it the rest of your life, do lots of harm to your body and cut your life span? What for? Just to be able to socialize a bit better while partying?
You sure know what you are doing...

Don't you think it would be much better to actually _cure_ some of the SA you have withotu any drugs, dependecies and harm to your body?

I'm not aware that the SSRI's necessarily harm your body.....I haven't seen any evidence to that effect. I know that they usually cause some withdrawl problems when you eventually stop taking them. And you don't necessarily end up taking this stuff your entire life. It is possible to discontinue the SSRI's after a certain period of time and your symptome WILL NOT return. Just have to wait and see.

As for why I would take drugs for this problem when I already have a good life, well, it's not easy to explain but due to the SA I have always felt that I was missing out on SO much in life.

I don't know how I have managed to keep it all together all of these years. I suppose I have just developed coping mechanisms (avoiding situations). If you don't know what it's like to actually go OUT OF YOUR WAY to avoid passing people in hallways and such, you don't understand how much it sucks. And the worst part of it is, you KNOW that the thoughts are irrational.

This isn't just a bit of shyness, I'm telling you....when you have this it feels like everyone is always watching you and evaluating you. When I talk to some of the women that I deal with in business from time to time, I sweat uncontrollably, even if I'm not really attracted to them. Like I said, I would often GO OUT OF MY WAY to avoid passing people in hallways and such, that's NOT introversion, that's an imbalance of chemicals in your brain.

It wasn't until recently that I realized what was causing this, and I am going to do whatever it takes to get rid of it. I can't imagine how much my success with women, friends, and business would have compounded had I figured things out earlier and took the bull by the horns and got some help.

Get off the meds, its only a short term solution. Your Doctor could have given you sugar cubes and the placebo effect could still have a positive results.

The fact that you believe those medication are doing what they are suppose to be doing is naturally boasting your confidence. Its no difference then drinking 4 drinks before going out of your house and into the real world.

It is possible that I am getting the placebo effect, but I highly doubt it. This didn't happen immediately...it took a few weeks to kick in. I can tell even in the daytime my mood is elevated and I feel very good, optomistic about everything. I used to worry A LOT. I suppose I also have a bit of general anxiety as well.

And no, it's NOT the same as having 4 drinks. That's what I always used to do before hitting the clubs and of course it helped take the edge off, but the anxiety was still there. Now the anxiety is pretty much gone. It's a great feeling, like I said, I only hope the meds continue to do their thing.

 

[Deep Dish]

STR8UP
Until recently I didn't think there was anything wrong with me other than being a shy person.

You? Shy?

 

[STR8UP]

Re: Re: Getting treatment for Social Anxiety

Originally posted by Deep Dish
You? Shy?

Yea, it might not seem like it because I have learned to cope with it pretty well over the years. I'm pretty good in certain situations but there is some stuff (like going to parties where I don't know many people) that I can't handle very well. I have had girlfriends get bent out of shape over the fact that I never liked to socialize at their work parties and such. I know it has made my relationships suffer. Most women expect their man to be good at socializing, and I never have been.

The fact that I bartended for years helped a lot, but I have never been able to shake the anxiety.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by STR8UP
I'm not aware that the SSRI's necessarily harm your body.....I haven't seen any evidence to that effect. I know that they usually cause some withdrawl problems when you eventually stop taking them. And you don't necessarily end up taking this stuff your entire life. It is possible to discontinue the SSRI's after a certain period of time and your symptome WILL NOT return. Just have to wait and see.

As for why I would take drugs for this problem when I already have a good life, well, it's not easy to explain but due to the SA I have always felt that I was missing out on SO much in life.

I don't know how I have managed to keep it all together all of these years. I suppose I have just developed coping mechanisms (avoiding situations). If you don't know what it's like to actually go OUT OF YOUR WAY to avoid passing people in hallways and such, you don't understand how much it sucks. And the worst part of it is, you KNOW that the thoughts are irrational.

This isn't just a bit of shyness, I'm telling you....when you have this it feels like everyone is always watching you and evaluating you. When I talk to some of the women that I deal with in business from time to time, I sweat uncontrollably, even if I'm not really attracted to them.

It wasn't until recently that I realized what was causing this, and I am going to do whatever it takes to get rid of it. I can't imagine how much my success with women, friends, and business would have compounded had I figured things out earlier and took the bull by the horns and got some help.

STR8UP,

I do know what it means to avoid people, I am very familiar what SA is. If there would be a pill that would kill forever my SA I would definite take it. But the problem there is no such a pill.

STR8UP, despite our SA I am sure we can apply some logic and some common sense to this life situation.
1. Just think about a different pill, any kind of pain killer (Advil etc). Do you seriously believe a pain killer can _cure_ anyone?
What this pill does is simply suppress your feeling of the pain, it does not cure anything. So if you feel your head is going to explode you may take that pill and avoid very unpleasant time.
Note, that if you don't take a pain killer, the pain will be gone anyway, in approx the same amount of time.
Do you agree with this?
If you do, then how in the world you came up with the idea that SSRI will cure SA forever? It suppresses it for some time, yes. But the only case when you can experience no symptoms of SA after you are off the drug is when you actually learn how to cope with the situation that cause SA.
I give you another example: there are some pills that can make you more focused and to some extent smarter. Do they work? Probably yes, but do you believe they will made you smarter and more focused forverer? Even teh creators of the pills didn't claim that. They are very aware once you are off the pill you go the excatly the same state where you have been before (or worse).
Do you see now how anyone can end up taking these kinds of pills forever?

2. Harm to you body. Sure if you take it a couple of time it is not going to do much harm. You can take any drug with the most horrendous side effects for a couple of times and enjoy a long and happy life.
The point is practically all drugs have side effects. And if you multiply them by the number of times you are going to take the drug, it is going to accumulate those side effects in your body.
It ca be anything except a better health.
Same goes for any drug if you take it for a long time.Since it has side effects it will detroy and disrupt body's functions. The trick is we cannot feel it immediately, but after like 20 years of taking drugs, the accumulated harm effects are going to be huge and horrible.
I hope now you are a bit more aware of the harm that drugs may cause.

3. How it affects your life.
I hope you don't mind if I point out what you are missing in your life (my life is way different, I am missing much more) according to your words.
a) "I sweat uncontrollably (when talkign to women)".
I can assure you none can sweat in a controllable manner. I sweat a lot and I am sure a lot of men do the same, maybe slightly embarassing thing. But why are you worried about this?
Those women cannot figure out you started sweating, they don't hold their hands under your underarms. If you still can talk to them and do the best for the business (it appears you can) so seem the problem you have to just chage a t-shirt and get a new, fresh one. This is not that bad, especially taking into account many men do the very same thing.
b) You tend to avoid people in the hall. I tend to do the same thing. Now, what are you really missing? Some dumb**s who is walking down the hall?? If you meet them there and say Hi, how this will change, i.e. improve your life? I see no improvements here.

4. Socializing at parties. It seems YOU don't even want to improve it. It seems you felt fine not taking to many people there.
You didn't say "I want". You said your women wanted you to be more social and their desire stressed you out a lot.
So essentially the problem is your women wanted a more social guys. This is just their problems not yours. Think about it this way: many women want tall, dark men. I am neither tall not dark. I cannot grow anymore and hate to dye my hair and eyebrows.
So how do I deal with it? I reframe it: it is her problem: if she doesn't like my height\color it only means she doesn't like me.
If she doesn't like me, well, reframe it - it means she is a person who I do not want to be with. For sure.

Add all this up. Do you still you are missing so much in your life? People down the hall you don't care about, controllable sweating and being a party animal? Is this really something so improtant that you are ready to put your health under risk?
I am sure you are saving money, in fact from your other thread it seems you are very good with money. So you are, or will be saving for the retirement. But don't you think you also have to save your health, your body? I think it is of the equal improtance.

If you want to actually cure SA try a drug free therapy. It is like learning how to dance _sober_, it is much mich better especially with comparison to if you do that while under the influence.

 

[*RHCP*]

how can you tell the difference bettween social anxiety and shyness?
i get a bit nervous just walking past people on the street but i never go out of my way to aviod it

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by al77
STR8UP,

I do know what it means to avoid people, I am very familiar what SA is. If there would be a pill that would kill forever my SA I would definite take it. But the problem there is no such a pill.

How do you know if you don't try?

Fact of the matter is, SSRI's do correct the problem for some people. You speak of SA as if it were a LEARNED behavior, which might be partially true in some cases, but I can assure you that in my case that has nothing to do with it. My entire family is the exact opposite of me. You can't explain it away as being something that can be "talked" through when it is obvious in my case that it was "nature" and not "nurture" that is causing my problem. They don't know the exact causes of it, but the reason SSRI's work for anxiety is that they effect the chemicals in your brain that are out of whack.

3. How it affects your life.
I hope you don't mind if I point out what you are missing in your life (my life is way different, I am missing much more) according to your words.
a) "I sweat uncontrollably (when talkign to women)".
I can assure you none can sweat in a controllable manner. I sweat a lot and I am sure a lot of men do the same, maybe slightly embarassing thing. But why are you worried about this?

It's NOT NORMAL! People who don't suffer from this condition DON'T sweat profusely, noticeably, in a cold room with the a/c blasting when talking to other people! Yes, it's embarassing. But that's beside the point. It's just one of the symptoms that need to be alleviated.

Those women cannot figure out you started sweating, they don't hold their hands under your underarms.

I beg to differ.

I shave my head, so when I sweat it's VERY easy to tell. I feel like I need to ask for a towel. And the worst part of it is that consciously I KNOW it's ridiculous, and I don't even actually feel that nervous, but it makes no difference. I sweat like a pig in certain situations.

b) You tend to avoid people in the hall. I tend to do the same thing. Now, what are you really missing? Some dumb**s who is walking down the hall?? If you meet them there and say Hi, how this will change, i.e. improve your life? I see no improvements here.

I have missed out on countless opportunities with women, in business, friends, you name it. It IS a big deal. You might be content with avoiding the things that make you uncomfortable. I want to take my life to the next level, and in order to do that I have to get my head on straight. That means correcting the chemical imbalance that causes me to become anxious and avoid people.

4. Socializing at parties. It seems YOU don't even want to improve it. It seems you felt fine not taking to many people there. You didn't say "I want". You said your women wanted you to be more social and their desire stressed you out a lot.
So essentially the problem is your women wanted a more social guys.

I absolutely DO want to be more social. It kills me to want to open up more to people but be paralyzed to take action because of some ridiculous condition I have. The fact that my relationships suffer because of it is just another reason why I need to get it under control.

Add all this up. Do you still you are missing so much in your life? People down the hall you don't care about, controllable sweating and being a party animal? Is this really something so improtant that you are ready to put your health under risk?

I have seen very little evidence that SSRI's are harmful to your body. I am absolutely willing to take the chance of the slight possibility that they might cause me problems down the road if it means being able to be the person I really am instead of having to hide from it. And I DO believe that I am missing out on a lot in life.

You also have to take into account the NEGATIVE effect SA has on your health. You think that excess stress and depression and stuff is GOOD for you? Trust me, all of that stuff takes a toll on you and it can take years off of your life. I will take my chances with the drugs rather than subjecting myself to any more of that kind of stress and strain.

I can respect your choice to live with it rather than seek treatment, but that's not an option for me. I WILL get through it, one way or another.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Sazuki
Social anxiety has to be the biggest BS to ever come surface on the face of the earth.

Those meds are there to fill an artificially created economical gap, I think they started with that sh1t in the 1950's.

You don't know what you are talking about. These drugs have helped a lot of people over the years.

You basically have SELF-ESTEEM issues. Target the direct causes of your discomfort, those are: fear, anxiety and low confidence etc.

You might want to take a closer look at your past and see if you can unearth the causes of your anxiety and fear.

Self esteem issues are often a part of SA, but how do you explain a person who is in my shoes suffering from low self esteem? I am financially set, I still manage to pick up good looking women who are quite a bit younger than me, I live in an awesome place in an awesome part of town, I'm in my mid 30's and I basically don't have to work again for the rest of my life.......it goes a LITTLE bit deeper than low self esteem, I'm afraid.
[/B][/QUOTE]

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by *RHCP*
how can you tell the difference bettween social anxiety and shyness?
i get a bit nervous just walking past people on the street but i never go out of my way to aviod it

There are varying degrees of social anxiety. Some people can't erpform basic everyday tasks it's so bad.

Check out this message board for more info

 

[Abbott]

Originally posted by Sazuki
Social anxiety has to be the biggest BS to ever come surface on the face of the earth.

Those meds are there to fill an artificially created economical gap, I think they started with that sh1t in the 1950's.

You basically have SELF-ESTEEM issues. Target the direct causes of your discomfort, those are: fear, anxiety and low confidence etc.

You might want to take a closer look at your past and see if you can unearth the causes of your anxiety and fear.

I used to get dizzy and somewhat faint when looking people in the eye, felt like the entire world was watching while walking down the street. The social world was hell for me. No brainpill is gonna solve that. There's no quick fix, building self-esteem is a long and hard road.

I hate to see a good person sink into the deprived and unethical pit of pharmaceutical poison.

I'll maybe post some more tomorrow, my brain is out of energy for today.

Finally someone said it.

I was wondering if I was the only one who was wondering why pills were even necessary?

When I started high school, I was a wreck and very scared and nervous (because I was used to very small groups and my middle school was very small). My father even wanted me to go to a counselor. However, I flatly refused to do so. I simply managed to get better. When I finished high school, I still wasn't in that great shape (I'm definately better now) but it was a HUGE improvement since starting high school and I didn't need anything except determination, desire, and the ability to simply make up my mind to do something. Since then, I've done similar things to become even better.

If I can do that in high school (the absolute worst possible environment to figure out how to be more social), you can do it in college.

Now the only problem is meeting others, and that's only because it's not always clear what the topic of conversation should be. If it's clear what the topic should be, then it's very easy. Oftentimes in public I'll talk to complete strangers and have good conversations with them, even if I never happen to see them again.


Ben

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Abbott
Finally someone said it.

I was wondering if I was the only one who was wondering why pills were even necessary?

When I started high school, I was a wreck and very scared and nervous (because I was used to very small groups and my middle school was very small). My father even wanted me to go to a counselor. However, I flatly refused to do so. I simply managed to get better. When I finished high school, I still wasn't in that great shape (I'm definately better now) but it was a HUGE improvement since starting high school and I didn't need anything except determination, desire, and the ability to simply make up my mind to do something. Since then, I've done similar things to become even better.

If I can do that in high school (the absolute worst possible environment to figure out how to be more social), you can do it in college.

Now the only problem is meeting others, and that's only because it's not always clear what the topic of conversation should be. If it's clear what the topic should be, then it's very easy. Oftentimes in public I'll talk to complete strangers and have good conversations with them, even if I never happen to see them again.


Ben

It sounds like you don't have the same condition I have. This isn't something that you can just grab your balls and conquer....it's a problem with the way your brain works.

 

[Cbaoth]

Can you pop pills and do nothing else and be fixed, no.

Can you get correct medication, as well as cognitive/behavioural therapy and fix the problem, definately.

I know a few people who's lives have been completely turned around by getting a combination of the two.

I am lucky that I have a psych in the family, so I have basically been working on changing my cognitions for a couple of years now. The zoloft is as someone suggests, it is a bandaid that allows people to expose themselves to situations that make them uncomfortable normally and learn to cope/adjust much faster to these situations than without medication.

There is no permanent chemical change in ones body, but with the proper mix of the above two and a willingness to put some effort in, a cognitive and behavioural change in the person can be greatly accelerated.

 

[Skel]

Awesome Str8up. Glad to hear you are happier now.

 

[Dean]

Originally posted by Sazuki
Social anxiety has to be the biggest BS to ever come surface on the face of the earth.

Those meds are there to fill an artificially created economical gap, I think they started with that sh1t in the 1950's.

You basically have SELF-ESTEEM issues. Target the direct causes of your discomfort, those are: fear, anxiety and low confidence etc.

You might want to take a closer look at your past and see if you can unearth the causes of your anxiety and fear.

I used to get dizzy and somewhat faint when looking people in the eye, felt like the entire world was watching while walking down the street. The social world was hell for me. No brainpill is gonna solve that. There's no quick fix, building self-esteem is a long and hard road.

I hate to see a good person sink into the deprived and unethical pit of pharmaceutical poison.

I'll maybe post some more tomorrow, my brain is out of energy for today.

you know nothing, dont post crap based just on ur views when its about somthing that effects peoples lives so much

 

[Skel]

Suzuki provide proof of what you say or stfu thanks