Getting rejected alot after first dates.

[mahon83050]

This is happening alot to me lately. I'll go out with a girl that is interested enough to go out with me and then they lose interest after our date.

Does this happen alot with you guys as well?

Am I doing something wrong? I really cannot think of anything that I seem to be doing wrong. I just try and be myself and always try to look the girl in the eye. However, since I am generally a negative person...I might say negative things without realizing it.

Sometimes it is hard not to take things personally.

 

[mahon83050]

We need to get into specifics here bro. Are you doing KINO escalation? (it's important to start at the bottom)

On first dates I always ask questions like "what's the craziest thing you've ever done?" Stuff like that. It usually turns sexual. Be more specific.

007

I thought Doc Love states never touch a woman on a first date. I did a little touching, but not too much.

I also may have brought said a negative thing or two (not about her, but about certain topic) but otherwise, I think I did ok.

Mike

 

[Shiftkey]

First of all, you're posting in the wrong forum.

Second, your problem isn't kino (which is more gimmicky than crutial to your success). You already figured out the first problem (negativity), but you also seem a bit desparate. Read this, and go through the other articles in the DJ Bible.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16926

 

[mahon83050]

First of all, you're posting in the wrong forum.

Second, your problem isn't kino (which is more gimmicky than crutial to your success). You already figured out the first problem (negativity), but you also seem a bit desparate. Read this, and go through the other articles in the DJ Bible.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16926

desperate? Nah, I don't think I come across that way at all. I try and avoid acting that way at all costs.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

We need to get into specifics here bro.

Huh??? He said that he's usually negative. Isn't that specific?

 

[insanity]

mahon instead of being a negative person. howabout trying to be optimistic.
i've been saying this for a long time, negativity is a downer, and it's draining. most people don't gravitate towards the negative.

smirk, smile, laugh, joke,etc. i'm sure your the next time you get a date it won't be a repeat.

 

[SamePendo]

It's probably because you only attract women who are equally attractive, those chicks you're around must be either more attractive than you, or less.

You have self esteem issues. Have you done a bootcamp? Practiced what the DJ bible says? Or just act as if you did through reading it?

 

[john_1234]

may be tedious, but if you really want to evaluate your game to find out what you're doing right and wrong, critique yourself after the date. i write about how the entire interaction went. i'm brutally honest w/ myself, which at first was hard to do. i try to determine the things i did right and the things i did wrong. then i think of things i could have done to have achieved a better outcome.

 

[Shiftkey]

desperate? Nah, I don't think I come across that way at all. I try and avoid acting that way at all costs.

I get the impression from your posts that you try to qualify yourself to the woman instead of you qualifying her. Reading between the lines, you're trying to impress the woman and you're worried about what they think about you. You just have to ask yourself if this is true, because if it is, you can easily come across as desparate.

 

[mahon83050]

I get the impression from your posts that you try to qualify yourself to the woman instead of you qualifying her. Reading between the lines, you're trying to impress the woman and you're worried about what they think about you. You just have to ask yourself if this is true, because if it is, you can easily come across as desparate.

Yes, I guess you are somewhat correct. Making that transition from her being the good catch to you being the good catch..takes some time.

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Tell the girls your opinions on Muslims and the war, thatll get em.

 

[mahon83050]

Tell the girls your opinions on Muslims and the war, thatll get em.

What part of Europe are you from?

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

What part of Europe are you from?

Im a German living in Italy.

 

[mahon83050]

Im a German living in Italy.

Warum im Italien wohnen?

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Ich studier hier.

 

[mahon83050]

Ich studier hier.

Wohin? Im Heidelberg?

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Ist Heidelberg in Italien?

Du sprichst nicht wirklich Deutsch, oder?

 

[Jariel]

I'm gonna guess at the negativity. It's a massive turn off, not just to women, but to everyone. First dates need to be fun and relaxed, and conversations need to be lighthearted. Even if you're not openly negative, maybe you're too serious.

Basically, if you and your date are not having fun, there's your answer.

 

[mahon83050]

Ist Heidelberg in Italien?

Du sprichst nicht wirklich Deutsch, oder?

Oops, I thought you were an Italian studying in Germany? I got it backwards.

I minored in German in college and even lived in Berlin for 5 weeks (not a friendly city) but my German suffers because I do not use it.

 

[mahon83050]

I'm gonna guess at the negativity. It's a massive turn off, not just to women, but to everyone. First dates need to be fun and relaxed, and conversations need to be lighthearted. Even if you're not openly negative, maybe you're too serious.

Basically, if you and your date are not having fun, there's your answer.

Yeah true, I was asking her alot of questions. Things did not seem awkward really, but it did seem to be a little strained. She seems reserved and conservative and I am the same way.