Getting over your fear - a little insight

[johnmich]

I have thought many a time, why am i scared to approach / talk?

I noticed at work i talk to all the old ladies and other people not in my age range.
I find it easy to do this, but when a hot chick is even near and i see her looking at me, i start to go red and dont have the balls at all.
This is actually true with people who have a lot of social proof. I dunno if its an intimidation thing or whateva.

I understand that its the mindset but this still doesnt help me to take action.

Do any of you pros have any advice?
I have heard the ' think of her as ugly ', but its hard when shes not.
Please help me shed a little more light on the problem

Cheers

Johnmich

 

[DonMEgaHoss]

I dont want to sound like a cliche but have you read the bible?

Do a bootcamp there are many. If you have, do it again until you feel comfortable. Yeah just strike up conversations with random people to get relaxed about starting conversations with people starting from just dudes or old people to people around your age and UGs and some HB's just for some pratice man. Work out too if you havent. It boost your self-esteam and make you a hot guy who chicks will get wet just being in their presence.

 

[donjuan87]

Here's what works for me, and it will work for you if you let it.

When you are talking to a girl you consider attractive, focus on even her smallest imperfection. NO GIRL IS PERFECT. even an HB10 has imperfections. Find them. Be incredibly superficial.

If you try, it WILL WORK.

-DonJuan87

 

[johnmich]

i will try looking at her flaws but i normally try to concentrate on the convo.

But i will give it a go thanks.

PS i am starting the BC again in Jan wen i have money

 

[cactus3178]

See, what this whole thing boils down to is the fact that society in general has put women (especially the 'hot' ones) up on such a pedestal that bros are afraid to approach for fear of being shot down, or feeling inferior, or God knows what else.

Telling yourself or someone else to 'just get over your fear' is the most retarded thing. People are creatures of habit. If you want to get rid of this problem (and it is the most fundamental problem in this game), you have to first be willing to be shot down. More than once. Maybe many times. If you approach or talk to a girl and she gives you the shut-down...so what? How many more are out there?

In my personal experience, many times, women feel the same way as you do, so what's the prob?

Thinking of a woman as any better than you is self destructive. She's no better than you, and you're no better than her. Obviously, women and men think much differently than others, but that's no reason to be afraid or nervous.

You know, the thing that worked best for me when I was a n00b was this: The next time you see a hot chick looking at you, just give her solid eye contact, a half-ass smile, and say "Hi".

Done.

What's she gonna say? "Fuck you"?

Man up, or be doomed to failure, my friend.

 

[johnmich]

ty for the replies. I am goin to sort this wussy ass problem soon.

 

[Rflex]

Always remember, that her power (and anyones power), is your perception of their power. Nobody has anymore power than you assign them.

 

[arlanda]

It's always difficult to initiate but once you're in it's a piece of cake. It reminds me of taking an exam - nervous before it starts but relaxed (well, kind of) during the actual exam.

I could choose to skip the exam and take it next year but I just say to myself something in the meaning of "it just has to be done, go and do it". Seems to help a bit.

Good luck