"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Getting Over Neediness

DJsparky

Don Juan
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How does one transition to being needy to uneedy.

I want to obtain apathy wherei really could not give a fluck if girl didnt want to be with me. To me obtaining this right now is the hardest thing in the world because i dont know where to start.

How did you went from needy to uneedy?

Where does one start?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Mavrick

Master Don Juan
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You have to change your intent. That's the best way. First, start telling yourself that you're just fine without a woman and you don't need them. Then start telling yourself you desire a women, it's just something you want. Basically change your mindset from needing a woman in your life to just wanting a woman in your life.

I went through the same exact thing you're going through. I'd go out to the clubs and strike out night after night. Then I took a break from women completely. I started going out with the mindset that I didn't need a woman at all, and this was what changed my striking out with women to getting women on just about any given night. Women can tell when you're desperate, and they are instantly turned off by your need for having them.

When you stop needing a woman in your life and start wanting a woman in your life, your body language changes, the words you speak change, and the way you say them changes. When that happens, women take notice. This also helps keep you from having that deflated feeling when you do strike out.

Another thing that will help is to stop worrying about screwing up your chances with women and start looking to see whether they are screwing up their chances with you.
 

slaog

Master Don Juan
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The more you love yourself the less you need to look to others for it.

Mavrick said:
You have to change your intent. That's the best way. First, start telling yourself that you're just fine without a woman and you don't need them. Then start telling yourself you desire a women, it's just something you want. Basically change your mindset from needing a woman in your life to just wanting a woman in your life.

I went through the same exact thing you're going through. I'd go out to the clubs and strike out night after night. Then I took a break from women completely. I started going out with the mindset that I didn't need a woman at all, and this was what changed my striking out with women to getting women on just about any given night. Women can tell when you're desperate, and they are instantly turned off by your need for having them.

When you stop needing a woman in your life and start wanting a woman in your life, your body language changes, the words you speak change, and the way you say them changes. When that happens, women take notice. This also helps keep you from having that deflated feeling when you do strike out.

Another thing that will help is to stop worrying about screwing up your chances with women and start looking to see whether they are screwing up their chances with you.
Women know alright. They can sense if you need them and it's a major turnoff.
 

mtlwlu

Senior Don Juan
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Try and find other things to occupy your mind. For me its the gym, its my favourite time of the day, and I know by being there Im improving myself, and trust me girls DO notice when you work out;)
 

Maxtro

Master Don Juan
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The best way to stop needing women is to have women. Of course that's a catch 22.

Honestly I haven't found the way to stop needing women and just be happy. I honestly thought that I wasn't happy because I didn't have my own place and my life was going nowhere. But now that my life is back on track and I do have my own place, I'm still down and thinking of women. The lack of friends doesn't help.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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Here's my biased take on it: everyone will preach at you to get hobbies and such, but the odds are you won't listen because you're preoccupied with women. Why do I think this? because that's how I was! I had to get to a certain point with women before I could really even know who I was and focus on my own life. It really doesn't have to be one or the other, but if you know for a fact you can't focus on your own life for worrying over women, then you might as well indulge yourself and get it on with. At some point you will get worn out and bored with it and return to your own issues. Yea, it happens.

In my case I had be with many diff kinds of women, I had to know everything that was out there. My travels took me from swingers clubs in Netherlands to upscale clubs in Argentina to exotic dancers in my own area. I don't know where your travels in this will take you, but enjoy the ride!
 
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