Getting over break up

[trv26]

Hey guys, broke up with gf. Or she broke up with me rather. Games gone wrong .

Anyway, would like some ideas on how to play it if I'm to get her back. I know the odds on that are low, so tips to get over her would be great too.

 

[KontrollerX]

1. Don't beg to get back with her and refuse to interact with her on any level other than her being your girlfriend which means in other words if she offers you friendship by coming to you with the offer either over the phone or in person you thank her for the offer but refuse it saying thanks but no thanks you are not that type of guy.

2. Get with another girl as soon as possible. If your other girl sees that you moved on from her apparently effortlessly this may invalidate her as a woman in her mind at which point she would need to get you back with her in order to conquer you again and reclaim her lost validation. Note that this may or may not work and you'll just have to accept things as they are and enjoy the new girlfriend which may be better in the long run for you anyway.

3. To get your mental strength back throw yourself into hobbies and hanging out with friends, do not dwell on the ended relationship. You should of been engaging in hobbies and activities with friends anyway while the relationship was ongoing as that is the meaning of having a life outside of your girlfriend/s. Having a life outside of your woman always gives you something to fall back on should things with any girl end and if you are particularly sociable you keep a healthy competitive anxiety going with your woman that she better stay on top of her game if she wants to keep you or you can easily get another girl. This message of you being able to easily get another girl would be conveyed through your good and friendly and engaging social skills.

 

[ProDJ26]

I always followed this method when it comes to breakups

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnyuICVSuBY&feature=related

 

[Ollie]

Do what Kontroller said but the key is to make sure you have the right mindset...the biggest key to getting her back is to not need her back anymore. If you just bullsh!t yourself and pretend then it will fall apart again when she takes you back. This process is a double edged sword though...once you find yourself where you need to be to get her back, you probably won't want her back anymore.

 

[trv26]

I always followed this method when it comes to breakups

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnyuICVSuBY&feature=related

lol, I'm tempted to put that up on one of the social networking site we use so she can see.

@ Kontroller
1. I've deleted her off facebook etc. However I still have her phone number, which I hope I can stop myself dialing for long enough.

2. Unfortunately no other potential girls I can think of. And I'm not confident enough doing street approaches.

3. Yep I'm gonna try and spoend some time with my friends.

 

[trv26]

Tempted to send her a text along the lines of, " So that's it" or something similar. I think that would give her a chance to change her mind if she's having second thoughts about it.

Anyone think that's a good idea?

 

[Energizer]

I can't speak for anyone else, but if I broke up with someone/or she broke up with me, I would change my mind, nor would I expect them to either. I believe that when you break up it is time to let go and close that chapter of your life and move on. It hurts, but it becomes easier. I always go NC with my ex's and I have never spoken to them after I split up with them. I'm heartless like that, but I don't need extra drama in my life and neither do you.

 

[trv26]

Stupid me couldn't help calling her. Apparently it really is over. I wonder why I thought the answer would be anything else.

 

[Energizer]

Stupid me couldn't help calling her. Apparently it really is over. I wonder why I thought the answer would be anything else.

Oneitis, oh and the small fact your ego clouded your judgement. Now, you've got your closure, go out clubbing with mates and have some fun. Your Ex won't be sitting around feeling sorry for herself, she'll be out raving it up as a singleton and so should you.

 

[trv26]

Spoke to gf again. She had contacted a mutual friend, who passed the phone on to me.

So I spoke to her and she asks me whether I don't want her to explain why she broke up. She explains then asks me what I want to do then says its prob best if we move on.

Then I call her back and try to convince her, she says no.

I call her again this morning, and she says she having lunch with friends(her usual group of friends) but will call me later today.

So...any advice?

 

[Energizer]

Yeah, I have advice. Get over her and move on and stop acting like a needy, desperado. She doesn't want to get back with you it's evident. You're acting like an AFC.

 

[jdon23]

Spoke to gf again. She had contacted a mutual friend, who passed the phone on to me.

So I spoke to her and she asks me whether I don't want her to explain why she broke up. She explains then asks me what I want to do then says its prob best if we move on.

Then I call her back and try to convince her, she says no.

I call her again this morning, and she says she having lunch with friends(her usual group of friends) but will call me later today.

So...any advice?

STOP TALKING TO HER!! IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOUR PAIN WORSE!

Right now. I want you to delete her phone number. Delete her aim/msn/yahoo. IF SHE CALLS YOU DON'T PICK UP

You're inner game is very weak at the moment. I want you to focus on other women, and yourself in general. Again, DONT give your ex the satisfaction of your voice. DONT pick up her phone call/answer ANY of her texts.

When you don't talk to her for months, and you start seeing other women- this one won't mean **** to you. She will even try to get back with you. Which then you should deny her and tell her she lost her chance.

Yes she will cry when your reject her, and it will feel great my friend.


Use this opportunity to grow and change into a strong man who doesn't need a woman for his own happiness.

 

[Dirty D]

What I always do with breakups:

- Let her dissappear for a couple of weeks out of YOUR life, meaning: exc who? No I dont have an ex in my phone, on IM, on my profile, on no nothing. Why? It's pure self defense my friend...because REMOVING her will prevent YOU from calling her, texting her etc. with the "whyyy" question...which will only turn her off even more, as you can see now.

And it does what Kontroller said: it gives her the gift of missing you, gives you your mental strength back etc.

- I'm in Energizer's corner after those weeks: I'm an exit = exit for life kinda guy. Maybe I'll let her know Im dating someone else through the grapevine of gossip, but not myself. Even if she does come back, I won't accept her as a gf again for the simple fact that I refuse to be second choice or "oeps sorry, I had doubts about your quality but now I realize that you kick ass I regret my actions earlier on"..tough luck honey, take me 100% or not at all.

Remember this trv, don't settle for less then you deserve just to "get the girl" or "get her back". It's time to move on - remove her from your life, pick up your hobbies (or new ones) again, hang out with friends, get back into the game man! If you say going out on the streets is not your thing, then we still have club game, job game, college game, online game and other day game left my friend..

 

[trv26]

STOP TALKING TO HER!! IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOUR PAIN WORSE!

Right now. I want you to delete her phone number. Delete her aim/msn/yahoo. IF SHE CALLS YOU DON'T PICK UP.

I have deleted her off everything, but that phone number is etched in my memory.

Also, I was well on my way to forgetting her. Or atleast had accepted it was over. Then this mutual friend says she misses you etc. etc. Then when I'm on the phone to my ex. she tells me how hard its been etc. and this confused me.

But, she didn't call like she promised(not done so yet anyway) so i guess I'm expecting too much.

 

[darkstarrr]

find a way to take the advice on here or face certain doom. if you want any chance of getting back together with this girl you need to STOP CONTACTING HER NOW. read up on ganji games. i've made these mistakes before that you are making now and i wish i was able to follow the advice that people were punching into my deaf ears. if you continue going down the road of calling her etc etc you are going to make yourself look pathetic and you will garantee you never get back together. please try to do what so many people have not been able to do and then they loko back and wish they could have just listened. cut her off now! she won't expect it and that is the key.

good luck!

 

[trv26]

Aargh darkstarrr read all about ganji games (long before now) but couldn't help myself calling her once more. I know it's pointless and I know the break-up was for the best, but still can't help myself. I guess I'm just scared of being alone like I used to be until I met this girl.

On the positive side, tried chatting to this other girl for the last two three days on msn. Had nice convos for two-three days, but when I asked her out on a date, said no. So I deleted her and will try ganji games on her.

It's so much easier to try those games when you don't have the other person's contact info. I think it should be a law for all recovering AFCs, "Never memorize the contact details of a person you are interested in".

 

[loving]

Take things by baby steps man.

First step man, you got lots of built up emotions for her. If you two broke up theres a reason, and chances are itll happen again. So first you gotta come to terms with all the emotions youve come up with and only then decide what you really want. Otherwise youll be like the girl who gets on her knees and begs for her bf, metaphoric or literal.

How you do that is you just think of her and notice the feeling and stay there with the feeling dont label it or whatever, just stay there feeling it till it goes away. you might find some cool revelations or just clear your mind of the block.

Either way, keep going till you got no more feelings for her. It will happen, and its natural, because youre not even doing anything and theyre going!

What this will do is treat her like any normal girl, you can be yourself for yourself and see if she's for you.

"But i dont want her to be any normal girl, I want my baby back."

If you've even got any resistance to what I'm saying, thats a feeling too. Start with that feeling.

 

[trv26]

After a little over a month of no contact with a little jealousy plot thrown in, girl wants to get back.

 

[Daniel1099]

dont do it wtf.

 

[vitor]

Why did she dump you in the first place?
Why do you keep talking to your supposed friend who keeps telling you that she misses you??
Why do you think that this is not going to happen in a week, a month, or 2 months. She dumped you to see if the grass is greener, and looks like she can not decide.

Focus on you for a few weeks, go workout, go running, eat good, hang out with your boys, MOVE ON...