Getting over approach anxiety

[Rocko]

Hey guys, I wanted to post this up to help some of you guys out who still can't go thru with approaching a girl. For the record, I am not tall (5ft 9in), I am not built (135lbs), and I am of average looks. What i lack in these departments, i make up for in all the others, and that is what I use to make myself better then everyone else.

Before any approach, the first thing i do is make a guildline of what i am going to say, not exactly word for word, but just a little path where i will lead the conversation, that way i will be ready to ask questions. This also helps me in bringing out the good qualities i have at first (to show how funny i am / interesting). I don't put too much thinking into this part because if i do, i know i will mess it and only confuse myself.

I then say something to myself to help bring about confidence and to relieve my anxiety that goes something like this "I don't care what this girl thinks. This is just for practice. By talking to her, it will be the best thing she has done today..." (IF I AM STILL HAVING ANXIETY OVER THE APPROACH I JUST THINK "Do I really want to sit at home later beating one off thinking about what I could have done?? Do i really want to regret this for the rest of my life?" This ultimately does the trick).

I know this is kind of short, but it helps me, and hopefully it will help you. Just don't try too hard; accentuate your positives rather then your negatives; keep in mind that you only have one life, so make the most of it. It also helps to always be in the mind set of "It's always on". If you picture yourself talking to a girl / getting her number / etc... it WILL happen.

 

[rsxtreme]

Nice advice. though if i was in that situation id think before i say anything.

 

[Boschy]

In neurological terms, anxiety floods the brain with neurochemicals and your body with hormones such as adrenaline. This is the 'fight or flight' reflex.

Your brain's logic centres are disabled, which makes it difficult to verbalise your thoughts and speak fluently. Your heart rate increases and your palms get sweaty (probably a throwback to our ape ancestors in trees that needed better grip when in faced with danger).

Now...this chain reaction is triggered by your emotional memory, a part of the brain called the amygdala. Treatment for post traumatic stress (PTS) sufferers involves reliving the trauma in the doctor's office until the patient has reprogrammed his/her amygdala to not have the undesired reaction.

Approaching women over and over again will have the same effect. Your anxiety is triggered by an emotional 'memory' that makes you think you have no skills chatting up women. Practice and changing your attitude, as this poster suggests, overcomes this problem. In effect you are being your own therapist, curing yourself of this anxiety.

No anxiety means clearer thinking and no sign of panic in your eyes. What to say and do with all of your restored CPU brain power is the other half of the seduction learning curve.