Getting out of the friendzone? (somewhat long story)

[confidence84]

I have talked to this girl for about 2 or 3 months and this is my story:
I have known this girl for a few years. I knew her because she dated someone I knew. Well she had broken up with her boyfriend about 4 or 5 months ago. She started talking to me often in the beginning. I messed up and entered the friend zone. She once asked me to go out to a club with her and one of her other friends, and ended up dancing with a guy all night right in front of me. So naturally I was pissed. So at the end of the night, she was arguing and fighting with her friend so I got out of the car to take a break from it and I turn around and she left. And the next day I hear the girl was left by herself too cuz she kicked her out. I ended up making her come back and pick me up, but I refused to talk to her.

I told her I never wanted to talk to her ever again. This got her really upset and all of her friends said she was literally crying to them because I wouldn't talk to her anymore. Well, after a couple of weeks I allowed her to contact me. I feel like this put me at the advantage. She would always call me, text me, asking if it was ok if she came out with me and my friends. She would visibly be mad if I was dancing with another girl. She asked me out for valentines day but it turned out she ended up having to work that day. She would often go out to dinner with a guy, then after the dinner was over she would call me up to come out.

The roles flipped once again and I was the one calling her and trying to get her to come out, hang out etc. I figured if I stopped talking to her for a few days it would put me on the advantage. She now texts me and calls me often. But, she said "I love you, you're such a good friend". I'm confused if I'm wasting my time, because she does throw some vibes to me like just staring at me and smiling when we are in a big group of people. And when I'm on the dance floor she always has her eye on me. Am I in the permanent friend zone or do I have a fighters chance?

 

[ezily]

yeah you're wasting your time. You have what is called one-itis. There are a lot of other girls out there. Just move on. I'm not saying you can't be friends but you are not going to be able to go out or date this girl. It just won't happen. But if you really want to prove it to yourself then just ask her out somewhere (alone) and see if you can escalate with her. But I really don't think you should waste your time. However, if she's really hot then maybe you can try and turn the tables on her again. Say stuff to her like "oh I'm glad I have such a good friend" and see how she takes it and how she reacts. I still think it's a waste of time but it really can't hurt I guess.

 

[Crazy Asian]

i think you have a chance.
her saying "you're a good friend" means nothing.
look at her actions.
and you're right about giving her space, and letting her come to you.
just control yourself and don't seem desperate.
it's ok to go and have fun with other girls too and have her know about it.
don't care about what she thinks.

 

[JackPrescott]

i think you have a chance.
her saying "you're a good friend" means nothing.
look at her actions.
and you're right about giving her space, and letting her come to you.
just control yourself and don't seem desperate.
it's ok to go and have fun with other girls too and have her know about it.
don't care about what she thinks.

A real simple solution is to tell her you have a much greater interest in than the "just friends" crap. Tell her you want her, and if she doesnt want to have sex, then to lose youe fu*cking number.

 

[confidence84]

A real simple solution is to tell her you have a much greater interest in than the "just friends" crap. Tell her you want her, and if she doesnt want to have sex, then to lose youe fu*cking number.

Yea I was thinking about telling her theres more interest than just friends. I'll do that very soon and post on the forum with results.

 

[Crazy Asian]

A real simple solution is to tell her you have a much greater interest in than the "just friends" crap. Tell her you want her, and if she doesnt want to have sex, then to lose youe fu*cking number.

i wouldn't really go with that but i could see it working, seeing how she got so upset when he didn't call her.

 

[confidence84]

i wouldn't really go with that but i could see it working, seeing how she got so upset when he didn't call her.

why wouldn't you go with it? what other alternatives would you give?

 

[JackPrescott]

i wouldn't really go with that but i could see it working, seeing how she got so upset when he didn't call her.

You wouldnt go with that, but you agree that it would work. Wow. Do you want a woman, or a Playboy magazine, and some lotion?

 

[confidence84]

You wouldnt go with that, but you agree that it would work. Wow. Do you want a woman, or a Playboy magazine, and some lotion?

good point..haha

 

[TheRealSupreme]

Why don't you step up and be a man and quit the shy guy nice guy routine. As you can see by now it isn't getting you into her pants.

By your description she is going for more agressive men than you are so why not take the initiative and make your move instead of whining about how she is treating you.

Oh the mad thing you did was the only good thing you have done so far. When you get mad at females a lot of them hate it and it nuts em up.

But it also increased her attraction for you cause it make it look like you had some balls instead of the creepy dude suplicating and listening to her whine about men role you have been doing.

 

[whyme2008]

yeah you're wasting your time. You have what is called one-itis. There are a lot of other girls out there. Just move on. I'm not saying you can't be friends but you are not going to be able to go out or date this girl. It just won't happen. But if you really want to prove it to yourself then just ask her out somewhere (alone) and see if you can escalate with her. But I really don't think you should waste your time. However, if she's really hot then maybe you can try and turn the tables on her again. Say stuff to her like "oh I'm glad I have such a good friend" and see how she takes it and how she reacts. I still think it's a waste of time but it really can't hurt I guess.

i encounter this every day."oh you are such a nice person,we can be friends "

"you are such a kind person,but i rather be friends for now".that is so insulting.

 

[whyme2008]

how do keep a talk going?how to keep it interesting?

i dont think i can,how can i?i dont go out,i dont do anyting except watch tv,and watcha movie once a while

 

[JackPrescott]

i encounter this every day."oh you are such a nice person,we can be friends "

"you are such a kind person,but i rather be friends for now".that is so insulting.

I love DIRECTNESS and BLUNTNESS. I would have respect for a woman, were she to grow a pair of balls, and tell me to my face, "I'm sorry, but I dont find you physically or sexually attractive" I can live with that. But the "friends only" crap is a bunch of $hit.

 

[Porky04]

how do keep a talk going?how to keep it interesting?

i dont think i can,how can i?i dont go out,i dont do anyting except watch tv,and watcha movie once a while

Take the mick out of them and their opinions. Not in a nasty way, but a jokey back hand compliment way. And ask intresting questions that she wouldnt have heard much. "Do you think prince harry was bullied in school because of him being ginger?"

All you do is waste yourself in front of the computer? Where is your excitememnt when reading this stuff? Don't you want to see if it all works? Stop doing nothing and watching other people live thier lives on the telebox! Get a hobby man. Hell, I joined an ameature dramatics group. Think, abundance of females, scarcity of men. Competition laws were in my favour and makes you intresting.

When a woman asks you what you are doing this weekend, never ever say nothing. And if you are doing something that doesnt seem all to intresting, make it sound intresting for heavens sake. She has to want your precious time. It will make her special, and you a hell of a lot more intresting.

As for conversation skills, practice makes perfect. Dont watch the bloody tv!

 

[young_gun]

One of your biggest weapons that can differentiate you from "just a friend" into "more than friends" (in my experience) is whether you use kino on the girl or not. If you don't ever use it, you can be sure you'll be in the "just friends" zone. Don't go overboard with it, but using kino is a great way to let her know you are a sexual being who is interested in her.

 

[young_gun]

Did you ask her out for one-on-one time with you? I think she might even think that being just friends with her is what you WANT. It doesn't sound like she's clear about what your intentions are.

 

[saber]

naturally build up some playfull kino and kiss her

i know this sounds dumb and easy but if she turns you down it wont feel bad

hurry, she will get over you and you cant blame someone for that so dont wait

 

[whyme2008]

Take the mick out of them and their opinions. Not in a nasty way, but a jokey back hand compliment way. And ask intresting questions that she wouldnt have heard much. "Do you think prince harry was bullied in school because of him being ginger?"

All you do is waste yourself in front of the computer? Where is your excitememnt when reading this stuff? Don't you want to see if it all works? Stop doing nothing and watching other people live thier lives on the telebox! Get a hobby man. Hell, I joined an ameature dramatics group. Think, abundance of females, scarcity of men. Competition laws were in my favour and makes you intresting.

When a woman asks you what you are doing this weekend, never ever say nothing. And if you are doing something that doesnt seem all to intresting, make it sound intresting for heavens sake. She has to want your precious time. It will make her special, and you a hell of a lot more intresting.

As for conversation skills, practice makes perfect. Dont watch the bloody tv!

hey buddy email me at [email protected].

thanks for the advice.i know what you say is true,and yet though i see lots of people around me,i am still clueless as to what to say,how to keep it going etc.
my whole system just tightens up with fear.

lay it to me.

 

[whyme2008]

Take the mick out of them and their opinions. Not in a nasty way, but a jokey back hand compliment way. And ask intresting questions that she wouldnt have heard much. "Do you think prince harry was bullied in school because of him being ginger?"

All you do is waste yourself in front of the computer? Where is your excitememnt when reading this stuff? Don't you want to see if it all works? Stop doing nothing and watching other people live thier lives on the telebox! Get a hobby man. Hell, I joined an ameature dramatics group. Think, abundance of females, scarcity of men. Competition laws were in my favour and makes you intresting.

When a woman asks you what you are doing this weekend, never ever say nothing. And if you are doing something that doesnt seem all to intresting, make it sound intresting for heavens sake. She has to want your precious time. It will make her special, and you a hell of a lot more intresting.

As for conversation skills, practice makes perfect. Dont watch the bloody tv!

I have tried talking to this girl over msn,whom i have seen already,but she never wants to talk to me.
i met this other girl once,and she never calls back or shows interest.i dont think i know how to make a lasting impression.
my conversation skills are the worst if u want to know.
man you guys need to school me all over again,piece by piece.

i need personal coaching.i find that joseph matthews and swingcat only deal with american women.but the women over here are real different,guys.

somebody,shine alight.

pls reply at [email protected].

name is ryan

 

[whyme2008]

I have tried talking to this girl over msn,whom i have seen already,but she never wants to talk to me.
i met this other girl once,and she never calls back or shows interest.i dont think i know how to make a lasting impression.
my conversation skills are the worst if u want to know.
man you guys need to school me all over again,piece by piece.

i need personal coaching.i find that joseph matthews and swingcat only deal with american women.but the women over here are real different,guys.

somebody,shine alight.

pls reply at [email protected].

name is ryan

i hav relied on ads in the newspaper,singles ads,but the women there really suck.
they have no life.lol
and i have NEVER been successful at it.i could never approach a stranger on the street without fear.
and i could never be successful at internet dating.the girls at hi5 just do not respond-well not to me i would say.

i try to use the profile models given by the dating guides,but though it sounds great,it does not reflect my true lifestyle.

ther is not anything much about me to talk about with women.

i lie most of the time on my profile.

help me,i need help BIGTIME