Getting my ex back

[badboy88]

Hi all,

Earlier I made this post about my break up and what has happened so far (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=159268). So right now I a lot calmer than before. Thanks guys! I am still quite depressed, but have kept myself occupied with other constructive things. I know this is not the time to get her back yet, but eventually I want to be back with her.

Just from all your advices, I have been told to ignore her. I HAVE been ignoring her for a couple of days since we last hung out.

I did some research on the internet reguarding "getting your ex back". So basically I'm supposed to agree with the breakup. TW Jackson says that I should HAND write a letter to her saying something like "I was acting kind of crazy, you're right about us, and a breakup is the best for both of us". Then I'm supposed to ignore her. I have not been doing any crazy stuff like stalking, non stop calling/texting, or even sat at home feeling sad. I have been purposely doing things to keep myself occupied, keeping positive, and looking at all the things that I can change to become a better boyfriend.

So when do I start contacting her again? Keep in mind, we broke up then still hung out. We haven't seen each other in days.

 

[mothballs]

You don't try to contact her, you move on. If you did any effective research on the subject you would have realized that 99% of the time a guy tries to get back with his ex he gets himself trampled on. Listen to the guys that have been there who also did not take the advice that was given to them... for once be the guy that learned by someone else's example.

 

[Damascus]

You don't try to contact her, you move on. If you did any effective research on the subject you would have realized that 99% of the time a guy tries to get back with his ex he gets himself trampled on. Listen to the guys that have been there who also did not take the advice that was given to them... for once be the guy that learned by someone else's example.

No, he needs to tell her he loves her. That's how i got my ex back. I serenaded her, talk is cheap so i took her to the mall and bought her tons of gifts, took her to amusment parks, bought her a car, paid her hosebills for two months, drove her to her new boyfreinds house to show her that i still care about her, and even video taped them making love without being judgemental. She dumped him and took me back, then i dumped her for cutting into my guy time. What a needy girl, i give her the world, and she wants more..

 

[mothballs]

No, he needs to tell her he loves her. That's how i got my ex back. I serenaded her, talk is cheap so i took her to the mall and bought her tons of gifts, took her to amusment parks, bought her a car, paid her hosebills for two months, drove her to her new boyfreinds house to show her that i still care about her, and even video taped them making love without being judgemental. She dumped him and took me back, then i dumped her for cutting into my guy time. What a needy girl, i give her the world, and she wants more..

Who the **** are you and why are you spamming the forum with terrible advice?

 

[Damascus]

Who the **** are you and why are you spamming the forum with terrible advice?

I am Damascus, a mensa member , the smartest kid that ever lived, and all the advice i give is from personal experience, and from the cool kids at my school. You guys are a bunch of meanies. Ive seen what you guys have said to Guy in Need. horrible


This is me:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=159416

 

[Scars]

At least he's a funny troll..

 

[Damascus]

At least he's a funny troll..

I have said it many times! I am not a troll! Just because i have a hunchback does not make me a troll! If you want to call me a creature, call me a sky drake, or a treant, they are the ones that protect the forests! Trolls live under bridges, and i don't live under a bridge!

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Wow, this sounds familiar. My ex broke up with me back in November, my oneitis AFCness was strong but I kept it away from her the best I could. After going no contact, I found T-Dub's website and wrote the letter. A bang-up letter. Two weeks later my ex was calling me and crying and "wanting to know if I still loved her."

At the time, I thought, "YESSSS. Thank you T-Dub! You were right." But not long after we were in contact and "back together", she started acting weird. It got worse and worse. Those were the worst days, because I was in such conflict with my gut intuition and reveling in denial. I ended up going totally AFC on her and she, once again, LJBF me. In this same time I was made aware of the other guy.

You're always the last to know, and the first to think your situation is different. It isn't.

You should go no contact on her and actually get started on the business of forgetting about her.

While no two LTRs are exactly alike, there are many things UNIVERSAL that you must accept in your current situation.

1. Women take relationships DEADLY SERIOUSLY. When a woman breaks up with you, she is doing the male equivalent of borrowing $12,000,000.00 for a business venture. You would pore over every detail and make sure you were making the right move before borrowing that much money, right? The female manifestation of this is called Branch Swinging. As a woman's interest declines, another man is rising up in her eyes, and you become her emotional surrogate as she weighs her feelings for him. However, in your case, because she is still hanging out with you, maybe she hasn't met him yet, or she is feeling him out.

The moral of the story is, 9 out of 10 times when a woman breaks up with you, you have already been replaced.

2. Even if you did get your gf back (you are prolonging your suffering by trying to get her back, trust me), the very first time you rub her the wrong way, you are going to hear,"I knew you hadn't changed! I was soooo stupid!" When they "come back", even whether they know it or not, it is not because she realizes how great you are and how much she loves you. It is because she isn't sure you were destroyed enough, and her ego can't stand the tone of your letter which implied you were totally cool with the breakup and moving on in a healthy manner. Or, she is in need of validation while trying to land the new guy, and who better to provide validation than the guy whose face she can p!ss in all she wants and he just loves it?

The only course of action for you is to delete this girl from your life and start the healing process. Looking back at what I went through, I wish to God I had found this site long before TW Jackson. Even if in the future you are to get back together, it will only happen if you walk away from her right now and get a better life. They never forget the man who was willing to walk away without AFC hysterics. And don't think it will happen in any prescribed amount of time either - you need serious time and effort to get back in the mindset you need to be in.

It's a long road man, but the sooner you get on it the less of your time on earth will you waste worrying about a fvckin girl who ain't thinking about you at all.

 

[axxo]

Make it a point in your life to **** 50 women before you ever get involved in LTR. You have to become good in PU first before you get involved in any relationship.

 

[badboy88]

Hi guys,

Sorry for not listening. I am just in great dispair. I hope I can get over it soon. I've planned many other things to do to keep my mind off her.

 

[Captain]

Damascus is a troll.

OP, you need to find other women. Forget about your ex. If they dump you, you can't get them back.

 

[axxo]

Can't say it better than this. Girls who break up with you will not accept the fact if you're cool about the breakup.

When they "come back", even whether they know it or not, it is not because she realizes how great you are and how much she loves you. It is because she isn't sure you were destroyed enough, and her ego can't stand the tone of your letter which implied you were totally cool with the breakup and moving on in a healthy manner. Or, she is in need of validation while trying to land the new guy, and who better to provide validation than the guy whose face she can p!ss in all she wants and he just loves it?

 

[axxo]

Go to gym EVERYDAY.

Hi guys,

Sorry for not listening. I am just in great dispair. I hope I can get over it soon. I've planned many other things to do to keep my mind off her.

 

[Phoenix]

My philosophy on break-ups is that if you live a life that focuses on personal improvement... each and every day you just can't develop an identity crisis that involves depression due to the loss of a partner. I right now am crazy about someone who doesn't even think about me anymore. Sure getting dumpted sucks... but welcome frustration and learn from it. I learned from my last relationship that I should have stood-up for what I wanted more and I should have left her when I felt the relationship became polar.

 

[Phoenix]

I got 5 messages within 2 hours from her today pining over me. Now I have the upper-hand and you know what? - I don't even care to be honest... over her. She ****ed up when she dumped me... too bad *****.

 

[axxo]

Good ****. Don't ever talk to her. And rest assured, if you accept any form of contact, and get back with her, she will lose any interest in you.

I got 5 messages within 2 hours from her today pining over me. Now I have the upper-hand and you know what? - I don't even care to be honest... over her. She ****ed up when she dumped me... too bad *****.