This is basically something I tried a couple of times to get out of the "LJBF"-zone. I guess it could also work to intensify feelings between you and a girl you have been dating/having sex with if you feel her going cold on you...
In this example let's use a girl who has sent you to "LJBF"-land, with or without verbally telling you so (if she did actually tell you so you already messed up somewhere along the way, but hey lets fix it!).
Set it up so you can be pissed at her, ironically you might want to do a little supplicating before as this will make her more inclined to do something that pisses you off. If you do supplicate she will subconciously see that you are not high maintanence and she will regard you as her toy. It's a dangerous balance, if you supplicate to much you are doomed - but initially don't worry to much about being the one making contact, returning phonecalls and so on.
Now sooner or later your window will open, she will be late to an appointment you made, tell her friends something you spoke about in confidence and you find out or whatever...
What you need to do now is to blow it out of proportion, you need to get really pissed at her. Be sure to meet her in person to express your feelings (I know, it's generally a big no no to express your feelings, but hey they are fake! You are not really pissed...). Now you need to give it to her big time...
When you do this you want to sound really sincere and come across as angry and dissappointed but do NOT raise your voice unless she tries to cut you off. If she tries to cut you off only raise your voice long enough for her to shut up! If she doesn't shut up tell her to do so "Shut up and hear me out, at least you owe me that!".
Do NOT use any words like b*tch or sl*t. This will make her sad and hurt and we do not want this, we want her to feel sorry! We want her to think she has done something really bad towards you. In fact imagine this to get into the right mind-set: She is your child and you are an angry parent. You are lecturing her because you really care about her. Like a father being mad at his young daughter for playing in the street after being told to be aware of cars. You want to be seen as the more mature, almost patronising her...
Here is an example of what you might say to her after being late to an appointment:
"Who do you think you are that regard your time as more precious than mine? Do you think the world revolves around you and everyone else exist for your amusement? This is not the first time this happens, (it might in fact be but she wont remember all the times) you are just ignorant and downright mean. This is not a friendship I have any desire to maintain as I am the only one investing in it. I am not like the other guys you toy with (be sure to include that part, you are different than other guys), I have some f*cking integrity and self-respect. When someone tells me they are going to do something I expect them to actually do it, do you think this is wrong of me? Do you have some kind of right to break promises that I am not aware off? F*ck it, I'm going home"
You get the idea.
When you deliver this you want her to get that look on her face as if she is really sorry. She might come up with some excuse as to why she is late, do NOT hang around enough to listen to it! If she does have a valid excuse and somehow manages to express it be sure to have some backup stuff!
"Yeah right, how come stuff like this ALWAYS happen to you? I have never been late as far as I am aware - and it's not just being late, it's the way you treat me and other people in general....yada yada yada"
If you do not succed in getting that look in her face throw in a few f*cking and f*uck in what you say. If you usually don't speak this way she will know you are seriously angry and hurt.
When delivering this remember EYE CONTACT. I cannot stress this enough. The goal is to get her into an emotional high, to really achieve this maintan EYE CONTACT ALL THE TIME you deliver your little speech. Now this is kinda freaky, try to stare even a good friend into the eyes for an extended ammount of time and it will feel really weird.
If she tries to look away tell her "Hey, look at me when I am talking to you!". If you are really good she might begin to cry and turn her head down to hide her tears, use your hand to gently lift it up and make her look into your eyes again.
If you feel you are getting teary eyed yourself (stop f*cking laughing, it happens to me!) do not try to hide it. It will only increase the emotions she is getting towards you if she sees you are in a high emotional state aswell - although don't cry like a baby or you messed up...
What does this do then? Well as Mr.Fingers wrote in his post about escaping "LJBF", you are sending mixed messages. Looking her intensly in the eyes for so long is something that is hard to achieve under other circumstances. Looking someone in the eyes like this makes you feel in love (no sh*t). This together with the emotions flowing trough her will increase that feeling.
What you say? How can me being mad at her make her love me?
Well some psychologists claim that our feelings are made up of two factors. One is what we think and one is what we feel. A logical and an emotional part if you wish.
Being chased by a axe-wielding homocidal maniac will generally trigger the same emotions as a ride on a roller-coaster: fear. The difference is our logical thoughts, thinking "I'm at an amusement park trying out this cool roller coaster" compared to "Oh dear lord I'm gonna die!!!" makes the two experiences very different even if the feelings are the same!
It is important to note that before you do this there has to be some hint of romantic interest between you. If she only sees you as "that boring jerk that keeps calling" she will see you as "that majorly boring big jerk that stopped calling" afterwards.
A better state for her to be in before you do this is "My friend that I think may harbour some romantic interest in me but I only want to be friends with".
Ok if done right this is what happens afterwards. She is getting all theese strong feelings towards you that she doesn't know what to do with, at the same time you totally stopped supplicating and showed her that if she wants to hang out with you there are some rules to follow! - well done my man!
In the following days, perhaps even the day after she will call you or contact you otherwise to appologize or at least explain herself. Tell her to contact you later by the weekend because you want to cool down before you speak to her again (if you didn't get the emotional high you wanted while delivering your speech then you might want to skip that as it may seem a bit weird). When she contacts you in the weekend tell her something like "Hey we should probably not do this over the phone. I am on my way out now, would you meet me at this new club/bar I am heading to?" - she will say yes almost 100% (should she say no, say "fine" and hang up, she will contact you later). You set a date up after she called you and at the same time you hinted at being busy and doing fun stuff without her - again - nice job
When she does arrive at the date she will explain herself and appologize in a million ways. you tell her "yeah ok, lets leave this behind us, but remember I dont like being treated like that in the future" - then continue to hang out with her. Assess the situation, is she still trying to get more forgiveness from you and make everything right? If the answer is yes continue to milk her for as long you think you can pull it off, let HER FLIRT WITH YOU. Play hard to get and melt slowly, then begin to flirt with her more and more - she will love it. After all it is what she has been craving all week, forgiveness from you! From there just work your best DJ'ing magic and be sure to get that kiss-close and perhaps more...
In this example let's use a girl who has sent you to "LJBF"-land, with or without verbally telling you so (if she did actually tell you so you already messed up somewhere along the way, but hey lets fix it!).
Set it up so you can be pissed at her, ironically you might want to do a little supplicating before as this will make her more inclined to do something that pisses you off. If you do supplicate she will subconciously see that you are not high maintanence and she will regard you as her toy. It's a dangerous balance, if you supplicate to much you are doomed - but initially don't worry to much about being the one making contact, returning phonecalls and so on.
Now sooner or later your window will open, she will be late to an appointment you made, tell her friends something you spoke about in confidence and you find out or whatever...
What you need to do now is to blow it out of proportion, you need to get really pissed at her. Be sure to meet her in person to express your feelings (I know, it's generally a big no no to express your feelings, but hey they are fake! You are not really pissed...). Now you need to give it to her big time...
When you do this you want to sound really sincere and come across as angry and dissappointed but do NOT raise your voice unless she tries to cut you off. If she tries to cut you off only raise your voice long enough for her to shut up! If she doesn't shut up tell her to do so "Shut up and hear me out, at least you owe me that!".
Do NOT use any words like b*tch or sl*t. This will make her sad and hurt and we do not want this, we want her to feel sorry! We want her to think she has done something really bad towards you. In fact imagine this to get into the right mind-set: She is your child and you are an angry parent. You are lecturing her because you really care about her. Like a father being mad at his young daughter for playing in the street after being told to be aware of cars. You want to be seen as the more mature, almost patronising her...
Here is an example of what you might say to her after being late to an appointment:
"Who do you think you are that regard your time as more precious than mine? Do you think the world revolves around you and everyone else exist for your amusement? This is not the first time this happens, (it might in fact be but she wont remember all the times) you are just ignorant and downright mean. This is not a friendship I have any desire to maintain as I am the only one investing in it. I am not like the other guys you toy with (be sure to include that part, you are different than other guys), I have some f*cking integrity and self-respect. When someone tells me they are going to do something I expect them to actually do it, do you think this is wrong of me? Do you have some kind of right to break promises that I am not aware off? F*ck it, I'm going home"
You get the idea.
When you deliver this you want her to get that look on her face as if she is really sorry. She might come up with some excuse as to why she is late, do NOT hang around enough to listen to it! If she does have a valid excuse and somehow manages to express it be sure to have some backup stuff!
"Yeah right, how come stuff like this ALWAYS happen to you? I have never been late as far as I am aware - and it's not just being late, it's the way you treat me and other people in general....yada yada yada"
If you do not succed in getting that look in her face throw in a few f*cking and f*uck in what you say. If you usually don't speak this way she will know you are seriously angry and hurt.
When delivering this remember EYE CONTACT. I cannot stress this enough. The goal is to get her into an emotional high, to really achieve this maintan EYE CONTACT ALL THE TIME you deliver your little speech. Now this is kinda freaky, try to stare even a good friend into the eyes for an extended ammount of time and it will feel really weird.
If she tries to look away tell her "Hey, look at me when I am talking to you!". If you are really good she might begin to cry and turn her head down to hide her tears, use your hand to gently lift it up and make her look into your eyes again.
If you feel you are getting teary eyed yourself (stop f*cking laughing, it happens to me!) do not try to hide it. It will only increase the emotions she is getting towards you if she sees you are in a high emotional state aswell - although don't cry like a baby or you messed up...
What does this do then? Well as Mr.Fingers wrote in his post about escaping "LJBF", you are sending mixed messages. Looking her intensly in the eyes for so long is something that is hard to achieve under other circumstances. Looking someone in the eyes like this makes you feel in love (no sh*t). This together with the emotions flowing trough her will increase that feeling.
What you say? How can me being mad at her make her love me?
Well some psychologists claim that our feelings are made up of two factors. One is what we think and one is what we feel. A logical and an emotional part if you wish.
Being chased by a axe-wielding homocidal maniac will generally trigger the same emotions as a ride on a roller-coaster: fear. The difference is our logical thoughts, thinking "I'm at an amusement park trying out this cool roller coaster" compared to "Oh dear lord I'm gonna die!!!" makes the two experiences very different even if the feelings are the same!
It is important to note that before you do this there has to be some hint of romantic interest between you. If she only sees you as "that boring jerk that keeps calling" she will see you as "that majorly boring big jerk that stopped calling" afterwards.
A better state for her to be in before you do this is "My friend that I think may harbour some romantic interest in me but I only want to be friends with".
Ok if done right this is what happens afterwards. She is getting all theese strong feelings towards you that she doesn't know what to do with, at the same time you totally stopped supplicating and showed her that if she wants to hang out with you there are some rules to follow! - well done my man!
In the following days, perhaps even the day after she will call you or contact you otherwise to appologize or at least explain herself. Tell her to contact you later by the weekend because you want to cool down before you speak to her again (if you didn't get the emotional high you wanted while delivering your speech then you might want to skip that as it may seem a bit weird). When she contacts you in the weekend tell her something like "Hey we should probably not do this over the phone. I am on my way out now, would you meet me at this new club/bar I am heading to?" - she will say yes almost 100% (should she say no, say "fine" and hang up, she will contact you later). You set a date up after she called you and at the same time you hinted at being busy and doing fun stuff without her - again - nice job
When she does arrive at the date she will explain herself and appologize in a million ways. you tell her "yeah ok, lets leave this behind us, but remember I dont like being treated like that in the future" - then continue to hang out with her. Assess the situation, is she still trying to get more forgiveness from you and make everything right? If the answer is yes continue to milk her for as long you think you can pull it off, let HER FLIRT WITH YOU. Play hard to get and melt slowly, then begin to flirt with her more and more - she will love it. After all it is what she has been craving all week, forgiveness from you! From there just work your best DJ'ing magic and be sure to get that kiss-close and perhaps more...
