Getting Into Relationships With Women With Kids (If You Don't Want Them)

[RickTheToad]

Coastguard? Were you Individual augmentee program or something like that? Thanks for your service man

We had a significant presence in Afghanistan. Remember, in the mid 2000's, we were fighting to large conflicts along with dealing with other crap from puppet states. It's all good. In some countries, it's required. The opportunities are endless; as long as people can get through major conflicts.

 

[RickTheToad]

Thank you for your service.



You had significant issues.

While graduating in 2008 and 2009 into a bad recession is not as immediately traumatic as being a solider in a war like World War II, Vietnam, or Afghanistan, it can still be bad in its own way.

Some members of the Classes of 2008 and 2009 might have even ended up homeless. Lots ended up living with the parents. It was a really bad time and it wasn't entirely their fault.

The Classes of 2023-2025 are experiencing similar things.

Additionally, economic uncertainties do contribute to lower birth rates. The USA has had a lower per capita fertility rate since the 2008 recession. Fertility never truly recovered from 2008.

Childlessness seems more common in men than women. The premise of this thread is the childless man-single mom combination.

I think a lot of males who finished high school, college, or graduate school in the late 2000s-early 2010s and experienced negative economic consequences ultimately ended up childless either by choice or diminish SMV coming off of diminishing earnings that come out of graduating into a recession.

It's all good. I was forced into it. Broke and no direction. They fix both issues pretty quickly.

I hear you. The childlessness epidemic is due to $$$ and feminism. People can barely get by as it is. Adding a kid or two doesn't help when money is tight. The world seems to be getting harder, not easier; but there are options. I recommend to many auto mechanic, electrician and plumber. Each, while have low income at first (apprentice level), they explode after three years. I know some plumbers and electricians earning over 250k a year.

Then, there's always the military. It can be tough, but I will still say it builds character and gives a lot of life skills.

 

[SW15]

Then, there's always the military. It can be tough, but I will still say it builds character and gives a lot of life skills.

True

I recommend to many auto mechanic, electrician and plumber. Each, while have low income at first (apprentice level), they explode after three years. I know some plumbers and electricians earning over 250k a year.

It's a better path to avoid going for a bachelor's degree and to get a trade certificate instead.

Too many late Generation X'ers and Gen Y/Millennials were sent to get bachelor's degrees during the 1990s-2000s. The Great Recession proved that there were too many bachelor's degree holders. It was a common story during the late 2000s/early 2010s to hear about someone with a bachelor's degree working a McJob.

In the last 10-15 years or so, people have noticed the problem of too many bachelor's degree holders and have also seen openings in the trades/blue collars.

The white collar working environment has destabilized since I got my bachelor's in 2005. AI could be an even further disruptor of that and affect SMV levels.

 

[jhonny9546]

This POV on the education market is interesting but it seems too OT, should we open a new post about it?

 

[Pandora]

As a childless man who is now in his early 40s, I'm starting to deal with this reality. I am managing to avoid single moms but I'm not sure how much longer that this can last.

I don't desire to spend time with children that aren't my own. I also don't want to step into a messy co-parenting situation.

Dating and forming new relationships is already difficult enough with a childless woman. The added complexity of her single parenthood and my childless status isn't a battle that I want to fight.



Incorrect. This is one of the biggest misconceptions about dating a woman with children.

Her children are always going to be present in some fashion.

It's possible that the burden is reduced after 18, but that's debatable.

In the USA, in the last 2 generations (Millennials and Gen Z), it's been common for adults 18-29 to either live at home for a period of time or require significant financial support and attention after age 18.

For a childless man, this will be annoying to deal with as the relationship continues.

Childless men and single moms are a bit of an awkward fit.

So about 45% of domestic women between the ages of 25 - 44 are single and childless. I don't understand why there seems to be so many single mothers after 30+. You would think that 45% of the dating pool after 30 would be single and childless. Maybe we dont notice these women or maybe they are still chasing the top 5% of men. What do you think?

45% of Women to Be Single, Childless by 2030: Morgan Stanley Study

Introduction The dynamics of modern society are changing at a rapid pace, particularly in relation to gender roles and expectations. One of the most significant shifts is the growing number of women who are choosing to stay single and childless well into their prime working years.

www.linkedin.com

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/104ojta

 

[Pandora]

The women I've dated that didn't have kids weren't as nurturing, and caring as the women who did. They were also less more selfish and had higher level careers.

Yes I had a similar experience. The single moms I dated were actually emotionally mature. They are pleasant women to be around because they had to be. They had to grow up because of the kid. The only reason I did not stick with them was because of my ego.

I know it sounds bad but I just could not handle the blow to my ego of being a step bad. I know its silly but I always wanted my own family. Sometimes I regret this decision because single mothers are cool. You can also see what type of mother they will be.

With childless women you are always guessing on whether they will make a good mother.

 

[Pandora]

Look like someone here had some experience about it.
I mean, kids are not forever, but maybe 5 or more 10 year, then they become adult and have a life on their own right?

So the best sex I ever had was with a single mother. I dated her before she got pregnant by another guy. I also dated her after. I strongly considered it but the kid was very young. Are you willing to put your life on hold for 10 yrs?

Also you cant move out of the state because single mothers often have custody agreements with the father. So if you wanted to move to Malaysia you cant. If you wanted to move to New York city you cant.

These are the things you have to think about. Its not just the years.

 

[DJ Novice]

The single Vietnamese mum I’m dating (against my own rules, she has a young child) looks 10 years younger than her age of 50, satisfies my every need in bed, is very affectionate, easy going and is only 55kg.

She’s made it clear that she wants a long term commitment within 12 months (I don’t blame her, I’d do the same in her position) and that time has just passed.

At 57 I don’t want to raise someone else’s child or buy a house for her (she has no home of her own) and dilute my own financial reserves which I want to pass on only to my my own kids. So it will end soon. She’s already making noises.

Dating younger attractive single mums with young kids is a bit like like driving a Ferrari. It looks great, drives amazing but the long term financial cost and maintenance is just unaffordable. Best to lease for a short time, not buy outright.

 

[SW15]

So about 45% of domestic women between the ages of 25 - 44 are single and childless. You would think that 45% of the dating pool after 30 would be single and childless.

25-44 is a wide range. The childless percentage is likely far higher in the 25-30 year old range than 31-44 years old.

If they are single, that's a marital status, not a relationship status. Most of them will be in a relationship and not seeking new penis at any given time.

Maybe we dont notice these women or maybe they are still chasing the top 5% of men. What do you think?

For me, I probably don't notice these women. I live in a neighborhood of more unmarried people and childless people.

There are places in the real world to find unmarried and children early 30s women and up. It gets a little bit more difficult but it can happen.

You can filter out women with children on an app and filter age range. It wouldn't be difficult to find 30+ or 31+ unmarried, childless women on a swipe app in a bigger city.

 

[RickTheToad]

So about 45% of domestic women between the ages of 25 - 44 are single and childless. I don't understand why there seems to be so many single mothers after 30+. You would think that 45% of the dating pool after 30 would be single and childless. Maybe we dont notice these women or maybe they are still chasing the top 5% of men. What do you think?

45% of Women to Be Single, Childless by 2030: Morgan Stanley Study

Introduction The dynamics of modern society are changing at a rapid pace, particularly in relation to gender roles and expectations. One of the most significant shifts is the growing number of women who are choosing to stay single and childless well into their prime working years.

www.linkedin.com

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/104ojta

They put their career first and then their body says I WANT OFFSPRING. They then get desperate and look for anything, get pregnant; and the rest is history.

 

[RickTheToad]

Yes I had a similar experience. The single moms I dated were actually emotionally mature. They are pleasant women to be around because they had to be. They had to grow up because of the kid. The only reason I did not stick with them was because of my ego.

I know it sounds bad but I just could not handle the blow to my ego of being a step bad. I know its silly but I always wanted my own family. Sometimes I regret this decision because single mothers are cool. You can also see what type of mother they will be.

With childless women you are always guessing on whether they will make a good mother.

You dodged a bullet.

 

[SW15]

They put their career first and then their body says I WANT OFFSPRING.

I have observed this happening. I've been on dates with career women that I could tell were like this, even if they never outright said it.

They then get desperate and look for anything, get pregnant; and the rest is history.

I see this less in White, bougie Millennial women.

In general, Millennial women were the first big generation who lived up the 2nd Wave Feminism "Never Settle!" idea.

While I believe some Millennial women have done what you've said, I've more commonly seen Millennial women staying single rather than getting desperate and getting pregnant. Perhaps this is a function of being around more bougie White women in that generation.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

True



It's a better path to avoid going for a bachelor's degree and to get a trade certificate instead.

Too many late Generation X'ers and Gen Y/Millennials were sent to get bachelor's degrees during the 1990s-2000s. The Great Recession proved that there were too many bachelor's degree holders. It was a common story during the late 2000s/early 2010s to hear about someone with a bachelor's degree working a McJob.

In the last 10-15 years or so, people have noticed the problem of too many bachelor's degree holders and have also seen openings in the trades/blue collars.

The white collar working environment has destabilized since I got my bachelor's in 2005. AI could be an even further disruptor of that and affect SMV levels.

I live in a city where 95% of blue collar jobs were stolen by illegal immigrants. It’s a big city too with millions of (mostly male) illegal immigrants.

Blue collar jobs used to pay enough that a guy could provide for a whole family and a house but once the illegals came to steal everything that vanished.

That light bulb has not yet turned on for most people yet. I feel like wanting to slap a bunch of guys across their naive faces.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

You know what else?

If the script were flipped and instead of importing tens of millions of dirty thieving migrant men, and instead it was tens of millions of hot young single Eastern European and hot Southeast Asian women, THEN that would be a different story.

Our manual labor jobs would not be destroyed by the invading army of thieves. Instead we would have jobs and we would have an immense wealth of feminine single and common sense women from conservative countries who wish to be married and have traditional family relationships.

but obviously, the Marxist snake losers used the ugly and stupid male invaders from south of the border (and tribal Africa) as weapons to come steal from us and damage our futures by stealing as much as possible.

Had it been the other way around we would all be banging hot foreign babes and having kids and building our own houses.

 

[RickTheToad]

I have observed this happening. I've been on dates with career women that I could tell were like this, even if they never outright said it.



I see this less in White, bougie Millennial women.

In general, Millennial women were the first big generation who lived up the 2nd Wave Feminism "Never Settle!" idea.

While I believe some Millennial women have done what you've said, I've more commonly seen Millennial women staying single rather than getting desperate and getting pregnant. Perhaps this is a function of being around more bougie White women in that generation.

As with everything, it depends. Granted, they can also turn in to Chelsa Handler too.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

The overall idea is recipe for disaster unless she is hot milf that gave birth early and now her daughter or son is at least 15 years old (which means she is past her 33 or something), moreover child would have to be non-problematic (which, assuming parents broke up sometime in the past) is unlikely assumption and father is nowhere in the picture (with really hot women it's never assured).

Aside of the above, "perfect in imperfection" situation I can give you dozens of reasons why not to pursue such a woman and main one is universal for any man:

It steals your time that you may spend on pursuing and/or with single woman w/o a child.