"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Getting in the Game

3AM

Don Juan
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Hello Gentlemen,

I want to start of with giving some of my background before asking my specific question. I am 37, in moderately good shape, although I am definitely starting to show signs of aging. Recently single after a pretty bad break LTR. Although it's been a solid four months. Right now, I have braces in preparation for orthognathic surgery that I will be getting around the first of the year. This is mostly for sleep apnea, but I have a deficient lower jaw, so after surgery, my aesthetics should improve dramatically. There are a few other procedures I am getting done as well to boost my aesthetic. No this doesn't mean I am trying to look like a plastic doll by any means. The motive is give myself every advantage life affords us in this world.

Now, all of that to say, I have never gotten into "Game" per say. When I got divorced 9 years ago, I spent all of my time on online dating. Which I got pretty good at in my opinion. That being said, I always knew it was a sub-par way to meet women and deep down I knew it was because I lacked the confidence to approach women in the wild.

Moving to today, I have few problems with talking to anyone and am excited to get out and pick up ladies out in the real world.

My question is this, given surgery, braces, and not being my optimized self, do you all think it's worth starting to learn pickup game? Or wait a while till I am physically in a better position to do so?

Right now I am thinking, if I start to work on pickup it will be starting the game in hard mode. So I have the benefits of learning some skills that might take me longer if done differently. On the flip side, I care mostly about the result and know that aspects of this will and do affect someone's overall result in today's world.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ubercat

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Be social first. Become a skilled listener. And get into some kind of team sport or volunteering. If you don't have good social skills and at least a handful of friends pickup will bleach your soul.
 

metalwater

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don't worry about the braces, much better than ugly teeth without them. you will also see some women in your age and a little lower and a little higher with braces also. they are also trying to look better.

not as much about being the best as it is working towards that.

do some practice runs now, the results don't matter it's just to learn or remember how it goes so when you are ready you are already good. who knows, maybe your position is better than you suspect.
 

rjc149

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My question is this, given surgery, braces, and not being my optimized self, do you all think it's worth starting to learn pickup game? Or wait a while till I am physically in a better position to do so?
You have less time than you think. There's never the "right time" to start overcoming a fear. Except now. Now is the right time.

You don't have to start hitting on women to improve game. The fundamental foundation of game is confidence and social fluency. Those can be built through non-pickup interactions with people. Start chatting random people up. Be in a lively, cheerful mood. Make witty comments to strangers, without caring about their reactions. Become someone who is warm, charming, and enjoyable to be around.

Moderate shape? Get in great shape. Easy layup right there.

Also, I won't ask what cosmetic procedures you're having, but don't be vain. Vanity is feminine. Optimize, but don't surgically alter. I'm decently handsome but have physical flaws and shortcomings that I know will get me looked over by some women. And that's okay. I smile to myself and say "it's okay. It is what it is. There are plenty of attractive women who would go for me." I'm not bitter, or resentful, or overly self-conscious. I'm good-natured about it. Women pick up on that and once in a social circle with me, are drawn to it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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2Rocky

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The best time to start self improvement is yesterday.
You don't have to start hitting on women to improve game. The fundamental foundation of game is confidence and social fluency. Those can be built through non-pickup interactions with people. Start chatting random people up. Be in a lively, cheerful mood. Make witty comments to strangers, without caring about their reactions. Become someone who is warm, charming, and enjoyable to be around.
Well said. Social adroitness is its own reward.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Hello Gentlemen,

I want to start of with giving some of my background before asking my specific question. I am 37, in moderately good shape, although I am definitely starting to show signs of aging. Recently single after a pretty bad break LTR. Although it's been a solid four months. Right now, I have braces in preparation for orthognathic surgery that I will be getting around the first of the year. This is mostly for sleep apnea, but I have a deficient lower jaw, so after surgery, my aesthetics should improve dramatically. There are a few other procedures I am getting done as well to boost my aesthetic. No this doesn't mean I am trying to look like a plastic doll by any means. The motive is give myself every advantage life affords us in this world.

Now, all of that to say, I have never gotten into "Game" per say. When I got divorced 9 years ago, I spent all of my time on online dating. Which I got pretty good at in my opinion. That being said, I always knew it was a sub-par way to meet women and deep down I knew it was because I lacked the confidence to approach women in the wild.

Moving to today, I have few problems with talking to anyone and am excited to get out and pick up ladies out in the real world.

My question is this, given surgery, braces, and not being my optimized self, do you all think it's worth starting to learn pickup game? Or wait a while till I am physically in a better position to do so?

Right now I am thinking, if I start to work on pickup it will be starting the game in hard mode. So I have the benefits of learning some skills that might take me longer if done differently. On the flip side, I care mostly about the result and know that aspects of this will and do affect someone's overall result in today's world.
Several years your Jr. Been running game 10+ years between life, relations, biz etc.

Advice : don't. Instead, get paper right. Looks max. Lift. Lose weight. Get in your best shape possible. Clean up diet. Take up FASTING specifically IF. Also get minimum 8hr sleep everyday.

As for game, approach a handful of girls everyday till dead or do falls off. Become a mercenary. Absolutely ruthless. I pull or #next! Sniper approach day or night.

I'm going places. Come with or get left behind. Hotter girls are turning 18 everyday. Come @ me bro!

Atm on @darksprezzatura on my purpose. Stack paper and crypto, precious metals, biz, grind and eat ****. Read David Deida way of the superior man.

The bullseye is being on your path in life. It's not the beaten path. Be warned. It's dark. It's usually a road less traveled and you are severing more relationships than you are cultivating contrary to the abundance of output. Most girls are modern women. Ran through, adopt feminism in one way or another and aren't worthy of the time.

Take up meditation. Enjoy the decline. Pull and pillage what you can. Watch the world burn.
 

3AM

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How is your hair? I would say it’s the most important component of aesthetics.
Well, after catching the VID I have some hair loss, but looking into it, this is temporary. I have an appointment to lower my hair line and thicken it up. I think this will take a few months to look solid.
 

3AM

Don Juan
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don't worry about the braces, much better than ugly teeth without them. you will also see some women in your age and a little lower and a little higher with braces also. they are also trying to look better.

not as much about being the best as it is working towards that.

do some practice runs now, the results don't matter it's just to learn or remember how it goes so when you are ready you are already good. who knows, maybe your position is better than you suspect.
Solid, thank you for the feedback. I was thinking something along these lines as well.
 

3AM

Don Juan
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Several years your Jr. Been running game 10+ years between life, relations, biz etc.

Advice : don't. Instead, get paper right. Looks max. Lift. Lose weight. Get in your best shape possible. Clean up diet. Take up FASTING specifically IF. Also get minimum 8hr sleep everyday.

As for game, approach a handful of girls everyday till dead or do falls off. Become a mercenary. Absolutely ruthless. I pull or #next! Sniper approach day or night.

I'm going places. Come with or get left behind. Hotter girls are turning 18 everyday. Come @ me bro!

Atm on @darksprezzatura on my purpose. Stack paper and crypto, precious metals, biz, grind and eat ****. Read David Deida way of the superior man.

The bullseye is being on your path in life. It's not the beaten path. Be warned. It's dark. It's usually a road less traveled and you are severing more relationships than you are cultivating contrary to the abundance of output. Most girls are modern women. Ran through, adopt feminism in one way or another and aren't worthy of the time.

Take up meditation. Enjoy the decline. Pull and pillage what you can. Watch the world burn.
Hardcore man! I like it haha
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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3AM

Don Juan
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Sounds like I will be getting into the swing of things while I optimize my physical self. I appreciate everyone's responses and I will probably take a piece of all of it. Fortunately, my social skills are pretty good as is thanks to some professional choices where I had to work with international students in my classes for four years. Now it should just be a matter of really owning it in the real world and learning the dating skills.
 

BedSwerver

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My question is this, given surgery, braces, and not being my optimized self, do you all think it's worth starting to learn pickup game? Or wait a while till I am physically in a better position to do so?

Right now I am thinking, if I start to work on pickup it will be starting the game in hard mode. So I have the benefits of learning some skills that might take me longer if done differently. On the flip side, I care mostly about the result and know that aspects of this will and do affect someone's overall result in today's world.
My dude, thank you for the candid post. Absolutely, get out and get your reps in. You will find later down the road that some things You worry about now will not be a second thought. Your alpha qualities that you either have now or will learn will absolutely give you success.
 
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DEEZEDBRAH

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Sounds like I will be getting into the swing of things while I optimize my physical self. I appreciate everyone's responses and I will probably take a piece of all of it. Fortunately, my social skills are pretty good as is thanks to some professional choices where I had to work with international students in my classes for four years. Now it should just be a matter of really owning it in the real world and learning the dating skills.
Aaron Clarey wrote the book of numbers. Backed by a actuarial study I believe. The data is black pill BUT you get the bumper sticker chain gunning pickup. I highly suggest you make better use of your time (biz, side hustle, research + buy crypto, lift, fast, cardio, diet, etc). On the contrary, while the SMP is a dumpster fire, fellas don't approach nor source enough and play house with the first hood rat just off the carousel. The remedy is to source more on the regular.

Chat up a handful of random baeeee everyday. Just for sport. On trip to the gym, buying groceries or getting gas. It's always game time. Cultivate being that guy.
 

3AM

Don Juan
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Aaron Clarey wrote the book of numbers. Backed by a actuarial study I believe. The data is black pill BUT you get the bumper sticker chain gunning pickup. I highly suggest you make better use of your time (biz, side hustle, research + buy crypto, lift, fast, cardio, diet, etc). On the contrary, while the SMP is a dumpster fire, fellas don't approach nor source enough and play house with the first hood rat just off the carousel. The remedy is to source more on the regular.

Chat up a handful of random baeeee everyday. Just for sport. On trip to the gym, buying groceries or getting gas. It's always game time. Cultivate being that guy.
This is the idea honestly. For the last several years I have poured the vast majority of my time into building a business. This by far has been the best reward for my time. Although I didn't really go out after women and those skills have lacked, I figured I would make it up once the financial freedom kicks in. Which it has.

So, now, I am looking towards building my lifestyle and learning good game and talking to women everywhere is really where I am at since I have the other stuff pretty well mapped out.

For the young guys that are just trying to chase tail, I would absolutely agree. A man needs to have his money and goals straight before he gets too carried away with women.

I would say, cryptos is a wild card to me from an investment standpoint. From a speculative perspective it's great due to the excessive volatility.
 
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