"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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getting dates from okcupid

benogan

Don Juan
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Ive been using okcupid for a while now. My opener gets me a pretty good response rate.

lots of times the girls say 'that was ****ing amazing'

anyways. I usually push for their number pretty quick. Some give it. Others dont. But anyways. I can't seem to get any dates setup.

Advice?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MOTU

Master Don Juan
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How often are you messaging them? On day one and two you have to message enough to build some repor, but after that I try to taper back to a couple times a day and make them short. I don't push for the number ever or even ask for it. About 2/3 give it to me anyway.

As soon as I have the number I tell them I want to meet them, and when and where. Something like: I want to have coffe with you tomorrow at 4pm at Starbucks on 3rd. I had 5 different POF dates in January, kissed two and fvcked the sh!t out of one on Saturday.
 

Nickface

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I've used okcupid for about 2 months and got a number literally every time but once or twice. I gone out with all these chicks. You already got the opening line but I think maybe you work too quick. Take time to read over her profile and chat with her for about 3-5 days. Mention all the crap you see on her page and act like your interested(even if your not). After those 3-5 days set up a date as quick as you can. The more you chat after those initial days, the more your going to lose your mystique. Go for coffee, or a drink, and hope you have your balls in her mouth by nighttime...
 

the_stig

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I had the same problem. Could line dates up from POF at the snap of my fingers. Probably got 25-30 numbers in November when I rejoined it.

Got burned out with POF and tried OKC in December, got a few numbers, and the date or two I actually managed to line up, flaked on me.

My guess was two things: Higher quality women seem to frequent OKC, and likewise, higher quality men. So you're up against higher standards, and stiffer competition.
 

Yewki

Master Don Juan
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benogan said:
Ive been using okcupid for a while now. My opener gets me a pretty good response rate.

lots of times the girls say 'that was ****ing amazing'

anyways. I usually push for their number pretty quick. Some give it. Others dont. But anyways. I can't seem to get any dates setup.

Advice?
You're focusing too much on your opener. Focus more on your profile and game.

Also, you need to to realistic. Everyone likes to think they're more attractive than they really are, but for a guy in online dating it is just about impossible to date up. Just dating at your level is a challenge. A lot of guys who think they're 7-7.5 are actually more like a 6.5, and try to hook up with 7's or higher... then wonder why they can't get anything done. If you're really a 6.5 messaging a 7 or 8, **** by all means try but I hate to say it's not gonna happen. She might initially respond to a funny opener, but then be quickly distracted by the better looking dudes messaging her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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GS750

Master Don Juan
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Its a numbers game. Its frustrating. And as many guys have mentioned here before it takes a while to get good. Read some of the online dating threads they are full of useful tips.
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
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benogan said:
Ive been using okcupid for a while now. My opener gets me a pretty good response rate.

lots of times the girls say 'that was ****ing amazing'

anyways. I usually push for their number pretty quick. Some give it. Others dont. But anyways. I can't seem to get any dates setup.

Advice?
I only talk to girls who have messaged/and or visited my profile first. Those are the ones who actually want to meet as opposed to the attention wh0res.
 
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