getting back.with ex --how to rebuild trust without killing attraction

[datass]

Long story short, I broke up with my ex two days ago but we decided to get back together. We both want to be together.

However, she said she wasn't ready to make it official right now because she wanted me to honor my word and not get in a relationship where we kept breaking up. So basically, she wants to trust me but isn't completely ready yet.

I'll admit when we were together, I was a bit of a nice guy. I was sweet to her, consistent, and really good to her. Admittedly, I was a bit sensitive at times.  In a sense, I became very predictable. After our breakup, I read "no more mr.nice guy" and am committed to applying those principles such as strong boundaries, taking the lead, just being a man in general.

I do believe being honest, consistent, and being a man will really have her trust me again.  However, I'm wondering how you can be consistent but still keep a degree of (sexual) tension in the relationship? I feel like tension happens when there's some uncertainty etc. And being completely consistent would kill that tension. Not saying I need.to play games, but I definitely think there's a way to have an emotionally healthy relationship with high sexual tension as well.

 

[jonhaul]

Since when do DJs take back ex's or failed romances?

 

[MisterSisterFister]

Long story short, I broke up with my ex two days ago but we decided to get back together. We both want to be together.

However, she said she wasn't ready to make it official right now because she wanted me to honor my word and not get in a relationship where we kept breaking up. So basically, she wants to trust me but isn't completely ready yet.

I'll admit when we were together, I was a bit of a nice guy. I was sweet to her, consistent, and really good to her. Admittedly, I was a bit sensitive at times.  In a sense, I became very predictable. After our breakup, I read "no more mr.nice guy" and am committed to applying those principles such as strong boundaries, taking the lead, just being a man in general.

I do believe being honest, consistent, and being a man will really have her trust me again.  However, I'm wondering how you can be consistent but still keep a degree of (sexual) tension in the relationship? I feel like tension happens when there's some uncertainty etc. And being completely consistent would kill that tension. Not saying I need.to play games, but I definitely think there's a way to have an emotionally healthy relationship with high sexual tension as well.

Your first mistake was taking her back, you seem indecisive and weak. She see's this and is capitalizing on this. Only reason she wants to get with you is so she can reel you in further then SHE will be the one to break it off and leave you in the dust.

I also do not get where you're being a man in this? You made a decision and now your faltering back. Only women are indecisive men make decisions and there not always the best but men live with there decisions.

 

[MOTU]

^^^this. She doesn't want to make it official yet because she just wants to take frame control and string you along for the validation it gives her.

NEXT!