getting back in contact..

[jogel13]

So at the end of the year at college last may I started to sort of see this girl.. we hooked up a few times and went out together a lot. (for the last few weeks) The problem is before it could get very serious the year ended and we both went home... a few weeks after we left we texted a little but it sort of died off...

She showed lots of interest then and it was never a problem, but with school starting in a few weeks I'm wondering what the best way to start up contact again would be. I like her a lot and see no reason why we can't start up and maybe get more serious

I would text her but I am at a loss of what to say out of the blue other than "hey hows it going", which I don't want to do...

 

[Pathgen]

I don't think you should say anything other than "hey hows it going" I suggest waiting till school starts for the following reasons:

1) Even if you strike up contact again you are in no position to see her so the conversation will be limited and die off like a few weeks after you guys left school. At least i feel that there is only so much material that you can talk about on the phone or text until it gets boring. Which might make you seem boring

2) You may run into her on campus or something, which would be fun

3) You said you hung out with her. I would wait until you guys are both on campus then ask her to do what you guys used to do. Example: if you hung out somewhere on campus one day say hi and ask her if she wants to do that again.

Overall, i really think that you could say hi and talk to her a bit to sort of break the ice, but if the convo dies out it won't work in your favor. Maybe you could see what classes she is taking or where she is staying on campus this year. Or invite her to a party if you know of one, but your focus should not be on investing time when you can actually see her and make progress, not when you can't.

 

[jogel13]

what if I broke the ice then ended it somehow before it could get boring.

keep it quick and simple, like hows your summer been, when are you going back, where are you living, stuff like that.. then end it by saying something like "oh well thats great, i'll see you on campus" or something

 

[Igetit!]

what if I broke the ice then ended it somehow before it could get boring.

Don't do this.

Even if you do "break the ice" and end things before she gets bored,you won't be able to keep up whatever little excitement or emotion you create in her over the next few weeks until schools starts.

keep it quick and simple, like hows your summer been, when are you going back, where are you living, stuff like that.. then end it by saying something like "oh well thats great, i'll see you on campus" or something

And DEFINATLEY don't do this. This is a snoozefest man. I almost dozed off while I was reading it myself.

There are so many things under the surface that you don't realize will happen as a result of you saying these things to her.

For one,she'll know that she was on your mind,that you've been thinking about her. I know this may seem good,but it isn't. It'd be fine if she was your girlfriend,but just some girl who you once dated,...no.

Also,if you push for a relationship,she'll take off in the other direction at the speed of light. Go with Pathgen number 2 or 3 suggestion.

You've survived this long without her,a few more weeks won't make a difference.

Let things seem spontaneous. If you call her or text her,it'll seem planned to her. But if you to "bump" into each other,it'll seem like a nice surprise...for BOTH OF YOU. Women like that sort of thing.

It'll be like,"Well,we must have crossed paths again for a reason".

Do like Pathgen said and wait until you see her on campus.

 

[jogel13]

I'm not sure if I will ever "run into" her.. we lived a few blocks from each other last year and the whole time I knew her we never ran into each other anywhere, and next year we are both living off campus and are different schools on different campus's in the city.

She sort of mentioned on one of the last few days how lived sort of close to each other and said something along the lines of "i could maybe shoot up there", forgot about that

 

[jogel13]

any ideas?

 

[youbaby11]

dood listen to the replies already given man

 

[Kevin Feng]

I think you’re overanalyzing this, she already likes you, so in terms of re-initiating things go, I don’t think you really need to micro manage the situation too much.

The only thing I can imagine going through your mind right now is that you’re afraid that she’ll be upset because you didn’t make more of an effort to contact her more in the past, but that’s irrelevant because you want to appear to busy anyways.

Just call her up and invite her out to a party, or if you want to be more under the radar about it, just write on her facebook wall or something.