"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Getting a girl away from a group

malliotjaune

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Ok i know that this has been covered at length but this is slightly different.

I asked this girl out tonight for tomorrow and she said she was busy with her parents (fair enough, I thought) so she suggested we went out sunday. After work. With work mates.

Now i could really do without the rest of them knocking around.

Any suggestions?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Dingus

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I don't think it means she isn't interested. Some girls are shy themselves and like to get to know guys (guys that could be a possible partner) with friends they can trust close by. I guess it just depends on how well you know her. I wouldn't worry about it if this is someone you've only talked to shortly. Just get to know her and make a good first impression around her and her friends.
 

Skweints

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Originally posted by justsomeguy1984
Sounds to me like she's not very interested if she won't even try to go out with you ALONE. I'd next her dude...
Damn man, givin up before things even get started. Just because a girl won't go out ALONE with you doesn't have ANYTHING to do with interest level. She's simply not comfortable enough to be around you alone...

This is a PERFECT opportunity to show your stuff, and the payoff is two to three times as big.

Follow the general rules... get to know EVERYBODY. Be a social KING in front of them, and while you're so busy talking to everybody else, she'll start to wonder more and more if you're going to talk to her. After you think you've got everybody else convinced you're a good guy, you go up to her, tease her, then ask her to go somewhere more private. Then when you get her away from the group, you pick on her bout her friends lettin you take her away like that.

Not only do you get the girl, but you make a few cool friends at the same time.

And chances are, and with my experiences, people hang out with people they connect well with. If you don't like her friends, chances are, you won't like her either.

A lot of people get intimidated by group situations, but, ironically, they provide your BEST chances. If she knows her friends like you, then she will be 10 times more comfortable being with you.
 

malliotjaune

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That's good advice guys. I should have mentioned that I went for lunch with her at work last week.

But you're right i only met her a week ago and she readily ponied up the phone number so I shall work to your advice. I already know all the guys (and gals) from work and compared to them, damn it , I AM the social king.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I-am-someone

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What Skweints said :D

I've been working like that almost the entire time - I would hardly even know how to work outside of a group.
Just prove you're the best person there and they'll love you :p.
 
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