"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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getting a date NEED HELP

cali0

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I was so nervous when i call the girl i meet through my friend. I at least got her to laughing a bit. The phone coversation didn't last longer than 1 minute. What should i do next when i call her on sunday?

me: hi
her: hello?
me: sup sherry
me: do you know who this is?
her: no.....
me: it me the black guy from xxx bar (i'm messing around, no offend to anyone)
her: what black guy
me: you don't remember?
her: the security?
me:hahah, it's me cali0, blah blah friend
her: oh, i remember
me: how come you sound so dead
her: i'm watching a movie
me: where at?
her: my house
me: are you still up for thai food?
her: when?
me: thursday
her: what time
me: 3 p.m.
her: i have to go somewhere on thursday
me: what's a better day for you?
her: I'm packed this whole week
her: sunday(not really sure)
me: ok, i'll call you sunday, hopefully we can arrange for next week
me: well gonna go
her: ok black guy
me: huh
her: laughing
me: laughing, ok, bye
her: bye
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mothballs

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If you said all that in 1 minute, you gotta slow it down :p A lot of people talk too fast on the phone. Another thing is you didn't really ask any open ended questions. You could have asked her about the movie she's watching and what kinds of movies she likes... you coulda burned a few mins just on that.

I just set up a date with this girl I'm seeing yesterday and the conversation was 5 mins... no record, but all we talked about was St. Patty's day and what colors to wear to mean what etc. and why I didn't wear green or orange even though I'm Irish. Then we agreed on the time and location for our next date and hung up. You can waste time on just about any topic.

It usually takes me about 10 mins practicing what I'm gonna say until I finally hit the button to call a girl for the first couple times... It doesn't really matter how long it takes to dial (who's watching?) as long as you can partially follow your script it should turn out ok. That said, it doesn't sound like you did anything detrimental in that conversation. She may be genuinely busy or perhaps the interest is not there... just assume the former when you call her back... and if you still get no definite answer just move on.
 

cali0

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how do you guy get rid of sounding nervous on the phone? This is one of my problem talking on the phone with a new hb.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Well, already she's communicating she is not really interested. Something tells me she'll have something to do if/when you call her to ask her if she wants to get together on Sunday. And if you keep telling her, "How about Monday. What about Tuesday, or Wednesday, or Thursday, or the weekend, or next month, or next year", well, actually, if you see her doing that, keep saying it, as a joke, just to amuse yourself. Other than that, get the hint, and move on.
 

mothballs

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cali0 said:
how do you guy get rid of sounding nervous on the phone? This is one of my problem talking on the phone with a new hb.
Eh dunno... I feel a little nervous in the first min or so, but if you stick with it, you should find it becomes easier as the phone conversation continues... and as long as she can't hear you shaking from nerves or your delivery isn't stilted, she probably won't take notice. Just calling shows that you at least have the guts to say something... which is usually enough for most girls if they're interested. I personally think it's going to go like Gangster of Love says... but it's worth one more shot on Sunday to see if that is a go or next week. If she avoids then, just stop calling her.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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WhtRbt

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She has low interest I would find some new girls.

Also, when you call for the date, it should be short. Set up the date and get off the phone. You made many blunders on this call. Don't ask her if she knows who this is. Call her and say "Hey Sherry it's cali0". If she says 'who?' or otherwise doesn't remember you, say "I must have the wrong number" and hang up and flush the number.

Like most guys when she said she was busy thursday, you started rattling off every other day of the week. This looks very desparate. You should say "Lets go out for thai food on thursday. I'll pick you up at 7:00, what's your address?"

You are assuming she will say yes. If she says she's busy, she must counteroffer, otherwise talk for another minute, hang up, and flush the number. If she doesn't counteroffer, she has low interest and she's out. She has to say "i can't thursday, but I'm free on sunday". Instead, you keep naming off days and she keeps shutting you down.

To help with your nervousness, call a buddy or some other female friend, or your mom, or anyone and have a short upbeat conversation. Then make your call.
 

cali0

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thanks for all the advice guys. GOL I was cracking up when i saw your response. I'm definitely going to amuse myself with that line. I feel like she has low interest. But I'll give it a shot on sunday, I don't have anything to lose. LOL
 

WhtRbt

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You do have something to lose. Time. If you want to find a good girl, you have to date MANY. Rather than wasting time dating women with low interest, you need to use that time to better yourself or meet new ones. Keep getting numbers.
 
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