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Get this for a story - What to do now?

1ncredible

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Ok you guys are going to be surprised about the time lag on this one. Also I want to point out that I used to be an AFC (like most of us), but have definitely stepped up the game in the past 3 years or so and have knowledge of David D, Doc Love etc.

Anyway im 27 and the girl is 24, nearly 25.

So I meet her through some mutual friends at a dog race Jan 2010, chat to her for couple hours or so along with a couple other girls, just generally being sociable.

Never actually got her number, but decided to FB her a message couple days later. Just bascially about going out for a drink sometime. Replies back by adding me and says she doesn't mind meeting for drinks as friends, but not ready to start dating yet as she has just split up with her long term b/f. (I know this is true as my mate said they had split up about a month or so before, so I know it's a genuine reason). Basically I just left it at that, one or 2 more FB messages and that was it.

Anyway, 3 months later (April 2010), she invites me to her bday for a few drinks via FB. I wasn't sure if I could make it due to work, but in the end i could make it, along with my friend (who was also invited - she knew him through his g/f). Anyway I ended up going in the end and there was only a small group of people there, none of which I'd met before - which kinda made me a bit surprised I was invited, bare in mind i'd only spoken to her for a couple of hours, 3 months ago. Had the feeling she was using this time to check me out.

Anyway, that was it that night, nothing happened and barely spoke to her. I had to leave early to get the last train. Her friend (who id got chatting to) did too, so we left and made sure her friend got the tube ok.

Again, no more communication whatsoever, didn't have this girls phone number and no FB messages either.

Right - now 3 months after that, in July 2010, my mate (the one who came to her bday) invites me to his housewarming do (Ive known hime a long long time). I know she is going via FB, but I don't think anything of it. BTW she is not a bad looking girl, but not the hottest - maybe a 6.5/6.8. Anyway we were all outside and she was chatting to me. I could tell she was interested by her actions as the evening went on - sitting close etc, but as i wasn't greatly interested I didn't take a lot of notice. (One thing i remember her asking me was how my love life was and I just said "kinda someone, but not really going anywhere (which there was) and I said "how about you"...she said "same".

Next thing she asks me to come and do some star gazing out the front. So i was like "alright". By then I knew she was keen and before long i was all over her. The only reason why we didn't shag was because it was the wrong time of the month (although I did lick her out - don't ask lol). Anyway after a bit time, we go back to where the party was happening. Later on we sleep together on the floor. I wake up next morning and she was just leaving by the time I was barely awake. I murmerd "see ya" and she said the same.

Here's where I thought I HAD messed up[/B]....later on that day when I got home my mate asks me for this girls number (btw I still hadn't got it) as his g/f had lost her phone. I said to him i didn't have her no. but would contact her on FB. (BTW I was going to contact her, but not so quickly afterwards). Anyway I used this 'lost phone reason' to send her a FB message, but with a bit of a cheeky message about last night and gave her my number too.

She replied back a couple of days later on FB (Id seen her online within that time), with bit of a cold reply; something that i couldn't respond to. Said she "...hadn't seen my mates girlfriends' phone..." and that was pretty much it. BTW She has never to this day text me.

Couple days after this I went on holiday to Holland for a few days.

Anyway I thought Id messed up by going straight online and giving my no. to her and perhaphs coming across as needy.

About 3 weeks after this - still no other contact - I thought to myself, maybe she wants me to ask her out 'again'...bare in mind id already asked out her 7 months earlier. Mentioned about taking her to the theatre via FB (she never text me so didnt have her number). She replied in a civil way, justing saying "...it wasn't her thing and thanks for the invite, also hope travel plans were going well etc"

I replied back basically saying, ok no probs.


RIGHT HERE WE ARE NOW TODAY>>>

My mate invites me to his birthday, which is to take place in about 3 weeks time. The girl maybe going, not totally sure, but said she probably will be. Ive already said Im going.
The same day i confirm Im going, SHE INVITES ME TO HER BDAY drinks again. Now is this kinda weird and what is going on in that mind of hers???

1 - She obviously likes me in that she has invited me AGAIN, even though it's a year later

2 - We have got physical and she knows i was keen - (i obviously still am otherwise i wouldn't be writing this)

I gave it a few days and have said that i would be able to attend her bday (short reply to her FB message). However as it stands the only other people that i know, aren't going. This doesn't bother me as I'll chat to pretty much anyone, but I just want you guys to give me some indication of what she could possibly think/want of me.


P.S, sorry about the length and intricate detail. You maybe thinking, why the hell am I bothered about this girl and/or I just want to do the business with her - That is true, but I have actually grown to LIKE this girl - maybe it's the fantasy thing kicking in, but I do want to date her still. I think I kept good control in not contacting/nagging her. The way I see it is that I have asked her out TWICE - whatever the reasons where - she has declinded...plus I gave her my number and she never texted/phoned me.

Also how to play it when i go to her bday...

Thanks in advance
 

vatoloco

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Sounds to me like she wants you as an orbiter and is just feeding you enough "string" to keep you interested along with some classic push-pull.

Personally, I wouldn't go to her party and avoid prolonged/meaningful contact with her.
 

1ncredible

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Good answer, although I badly want to go.

Another thing is that the only 3 people who have been invited to the party, can't go, so in theory Id be showing up on my own, only barely knowing the host girl (I want to get it off with).

Guess id either find a tag along buddy or just not go....
 

Nikoli

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Sometimes girls will hook up with yah and hang out like a buddy/fb/fwb but the whole idea of dating is akward and foreign to them. Possibly you just need to escalate when you have the chance and keep it very casual the rest of the time. No more asking her out for dates ar exclusive one on ones but keep it more casual.

I'd go to the party but try and score a date or two with some different girls before then as it will help your vibe and alleviate any neediness. Then keep it light with her and bust her balls a bit. If it doesn't work i'm sure there will be other girls at the party...so on the the NEXT!

Good luck.
 

Johnnyventana

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I think what's fascinating is this 6.5 chick, using push/pull hot/cold behavior has you thinking about her so much. If she was all about you, you might not even care.

So yeah, I'd turn that around. Flip the script on that beeatch.
 

1ncredible

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So yeah, I'd turn that around. Flip the script on that beeatch.


When you say flip it and turn it around...how do you mean? Play her at her own game? How exactly in this case?
 

1ncredible

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Also... Would it be weird for me to show up to the party on my own, with me only 'knowing' the girl host, the one I want? (Knowing as in ive only seen her 3 times).

Im tempted not to go, partly due to the only other 3 people I know not going, along with her being pushpull etc. Although I could find a mate to come along with me.

I maybe seeing her in a couple weeks at my mates party, to which she is maybe going to. I really think she is playing a massive game and seeing if i'll suck up to her.
 

Johnnyventana

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"When you say flip it and turn it around...how do you mean? Play her at her own game? How exactly in this case?"

Stop asking her out. Ignore her at the party, chat up other chicks while you're there. Act as if you've been slighted (you have), by not chasing her in some attempt to prove you are worthy. You are worthy. She's not. Ignore the beeatch! Then, reward good behavior and ignore the bad. Don't chase.

Best bet: Show up with another girl.
 

1ncredible

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Right Gents

I think Ive decided not to even go to her party. I'm just going to say something like:

"Hi, Something has come up and not going to be able to make it now, have fun guys and drink plenty".

Know I'll just have to forget about her, but I think she'll come to my friend's party in 3 weeks time.
 

vatoloco

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1ncredible said:
"Hi, Something has come up and not going to be able to make it now, have fun guys and drink plenty".
Sounds like a plan.

And in reply to your other question, here's how I handle it when a girl wants me as an orbiter.
 

Prime

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1ncredible said:
The only reason why we didn't shag was because it was the wrong time of the month (although I did lick her out - don't ask lol).
Are you f***ing kidding me?
 

1ncredible

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One other thing is though - if I do show to to the party on my own, this shows confidence. Plus if I managed to pull it all off and really get on with her mates etc, then surely this would be a good thing?
 

irocknike23

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1ncredible said:
The only reason why we didn't shag was because it was the wrong time of the month (although I did lick her out - don't ask lol)
dude....eww
 

d!ckmojo

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Why not go 2 the party man? I think you're mind-fvcking yourself 2 much...

If you got a better prospect then yeah sure, ditch dat ho.

But if its a choice between staying at home or fkn partay, I know wot I'd b doin..
 
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