I see friends, acquaintances and lots of random strangers who get stuck in their comfort zone.
This means one or more of several things.
1. refusing to explore new options. Instead they go to the same clubs and bars over and over, and strike out again, over and over. If they were just willing to drive maybe 20 minutes out, or 45 minutes out, or maybe an hour, they could expand their options exponentially. Is it really that productive to milk a beer at a bar for three hours where you know you won't get laid? Try investing an hour and a half round trip to try out new clubs and bars which are far better.
2. they remain stuck in oneitis, hitting on the same girl for YEARS getting nowhere. It sounds implausible but several women have reported this to me. A bartender at a hotel bar told me a guy that had just left had been visiting her EVERY NIGHT for THREE YEARS. Needless to say, he didn't get laid. WTF? Or, I'll see a guy hitting on the same girl over and over, getting absolutely nowhere.
3. refusing to take a chance by asking a girl out. It hurts to get rejected, it's embarrassing to see a girl if she's rejected you, but some guys are waiting YEARS just orbiting a girl, hoping SHE'LL make the move for him! The momentary pain of rejection is far preferable to holding on to an illusion for months or even years.
4. refusing to move on after you've been rejected. I've seen and heard of this on many occasions. Guys get stuck infatuated with a girl and keep asking her out despite endless rejection for months or even years.
5. Do your homework. This is easier than ever before, but word on the ground is always the best. Check social media AND ask around to see where the best hotspots are. Find out about the best and most popular music and art festivals. If you don't have a ton of spare cash, try volunteering for free admission.
6. Wear something stylish. This is a huge demerit for most guys. Even the guys who try often won't push far beyond a black button down and jeans. Take a chance and wear one interesting item. You don't have to look like a clown, but put some thought and effort into your appearance.
There are many more examples, but the key is to develop an ability to explore different options: different locations, different women, moving on past rejection and otherwise avoid getting stuck. Try something else!
This means one or more of several things.
1. refusing to explore new options. Instead they go to the same clubs and bars over and over, and strike out again, over and over. If they were just willing to drive maybe 20 minutes out, or 45 minutes out, or maybe an hour, they could expand their options exponentially. Is it really that productive to milk a beer at a bar for three hours where you know you won't get laid? Try investing an hour and a half round trip to try out new clubs and bars which are far better.
2. they remain stuck in oneitis, hitting on the same girl for YEARS getting nowhere. It sounds implausible but several women have reported this to me. A bartender at a hotel bar told me a guy that had just left had been visiting her EVERY NIGHT for THREE YEARS. Needless to say, he didn't get laid. WTF? Or, I'll see a guy hitting on the same girl over and over, getting absolutely nowhere.
3. refusing to take a chance by asking a girl out. It hurts to get rejected, it's embarrassing to see a girl if she's rejected you, but some guys are waiting YEARS just orbiting a girl, hoping SHE'LL make the move for him! The momentary pain of rejection is far preferable to holding on to an illusion for months or even years.
4. refusing to move on after you've been rejected. I've seen and heard of this on many occasions. Guys get stuck infatuated with a girl and keep asking her out despite endless rejection for months or even years.
5. Do your homework. This is easier than ever before, but word on the ground is always the best. Check social media AND ask around to see where the best hotspots are. Find out about the best and most popular music and art festivals. If you don't have a ton of spare cash, try volunteering for free admission.
6. Wear something stylish. This is a huge demerit for most guys. Even the guys who try often won't push far beyond a black button down and jeans. Take a chance and wear one interesting item. You don't have to look like a clown, but put some thought and effort into your appearance.
There are many more examples, but the key is to develop an ability to explore different options: different locations, different women, moving on past rejection and otherwise avoid getting stuck. Try something else!
Last edited: