CornbreadFed
Master Don Juan
I used to be a big proponent of online dating. In the early days, the return on investment was undeniable. I was active pre, during, and post covid and I can tell you that the apps went to complete shvt starting around late 2022-2023. Now, why would a good looking and healthy minded female be on a dating app in 2025? You could put in an hour of swiping, set up a couple of dates, and genuinely feel like you'd won. It was efficient, and it made sense. Unfortunately, the landscape is no longer what it once was. Lately, I've had a significant realization that it is time for men to pivot from the apps. As a result, I'm stepping back from recommending dating apps and am now strongly advocating for more traditional, face-to-face approaches when it comes to meeting women. Here is why!
1. It kills your confidence & self-esteem
To be honest, dating apps are a losing game for the average guy. Women have every reason to aim sky-high. They’re getting liked, matched, and messaged by men two or three leagues above them in SMV. In addition, these guys are still fvcking and courting them down to Cinderella's castle.
What that means for you is simple: you're grinding it out in a rigged system. Confidence is built through momentum, through stacking small wins. But dating apps? They hand you L after L, most of which have nothing to do with your actual value. That slow drip of rejection chips away at you. It makes you second-guess your worth, even when you're doing everything right.
2. It makes you lazy
Swiping is effortless. Too effortless. After a while, it rewires your brain. You start thinking, “Why should I bother getting dressed, going out, or going to that event when I can just swipe from the couch?”
Think of social skills like muscles, so if you do not use them, then they weaken. You start losing that edge. You forget how to read body language, approach with confidence, or build that natural charisma that only comes from real interactions. OLD trains you to be passive and reactive instead of bold and proactive. And that doesn't just hurt your dating life; it bleeds into how you move in the world as a man
3). It puts you in an artificial reality
You begin chasing validation more than connection. You become more obsessed with matching than with meeting. You start thinking attraction is just about good lighting, bios with “6’0 and up only, "having the right photo angle, and catering to hopeless romantics with questionable mental health issues.
None of that translates to real-world energy, chemistry, or compatibility. Apps keep you in your head instead of in your body. Instead of learning how to actually vibe with someone in person, especially a normal person, you’re stuck analyzing if a match who ghosted you after 3 messages is “worth following up with or why you got the "there's no spark" breakup text.
4. The quality of women on there has plummeted
This one’s going to sting, but it needs to be said: the quality pool is shrinking. The women who were genuinely looking for something real have either already met someone or avoid apps because of their reputation. What’s left? A mix of serial attention seekers, time wasters, bored situationship addicts, and fake profiles. Of course, there are exceptions, but let’s not pretend the juice is worth the squeeze anymore.
You're putting in hours of swiping, small talk, and rescheduling dates… for what? To maybe meet someone who’s mentally checked out because she is already talking to a guy on the local NFL team, a local MLB team, and a young guy with a six pack/Ferrari, glued to her phone during dinner, or just using you for a free night out? Nah. I’m good.
Conclusion:
My friend, a bald Asian guy who is below 6 feet tall, was constantly getting jerked around on dating apps. Eventually, he said "screw it" and started pursuing hobbies that involved women and approaching them in person. Yes, he struggled for a while, but he eventually moved past that difficult phase. Now, he consistently meets women outside of apps. The last time we met, he was talkative, happy, and much more engaged in conversations, a stark contrast to the depressed and bitter person he was during his app days.
1. It kills your confidence & self-esteem
To be honest, dating apps are a losing game for the average guy. Women have every reason to aim sky-high. They’re getting liked, matched, and messaged by men two or three leagues above them in SMV. In addition, these guys are still fvcking and courting them down to Cinderella's castle.
What that means for you is simple: you're grinding it out in a rigged system. Confidence is built through momentum, through stacking small wins. But dating apps? They hand you L after L, most of which have nothing to do with your actual value. That slow drip of rejection chips away at you. It makes you second-guess your worth, even when you're doing everything right.
2. It makes you lazy
Swiping is effortless. Too effortless. After a while, it rewires your brain. You start thinking, “Why should I bother getting dressed, going out, or going to that event when I can just swipe from the couch?”
Think of social skills like muscles, so if you do not use them, then they weaken. You start losing that edge. You forget how to read body language, approach with confidence, or build that natural charisma that only comes from real interactions. OLD trains you to be passive and reactive instead of bold and proactive. And that doesn't just hurt your dating life; it bleeds into how you move in the world as a man
3). It puts you in an artificial reality
You begin chasing validation more than connection. You become more obsessed with matching than with meeting. You start thinking attraction is just about good lighting, bios with “6’0 and up only, "having the right photo angle, and catering to hopeless romantics with questionable mental health issues.
None of that translates to real-world energy, chemistry, or compatibility. Apps keep you in your head instead of in your body. Instead of learning how to actually vibe with someone in person, especially a normal person, you’re stuck analyzing if a match who ghosted you after 3 messages is “worth following up with or why you got the "there's no spark" breakup text.
4. The quality of women on there has plummeted
This one’s going to sting, but it needs to be said: the quality pool is shrinking. The women who were genuinely looking for something real have either already met someone or avoid apps because of their reputation. What’s left? A mix of serial attention seekers, time wasters, bored situationship addicts, and fake profiles. Of course, there are exceptions, but let’s not pretend the juice is worth the squeeze anymore.
You're putting in hours of swiping, small talk, and rescheduling dates… for what? To maybe meet someone who’s mentally checked out because she is already talking to a guy on the local NFL team, a local MLB team, and a young guy with a six pack/Ferrari, glued to her phone during dinner, or just using you for a free night out? Nah. I’m good.
Conclusion:
My friend, a bald Asian guy who is below 6 feet tall, was constantly getting jerked around on dating apps. Eventually, he said "screw it" and started pursuing hobbies that involved women and approaching them in person. Yes, he struggled for a while, but he eventually moved past that difficult phase. Now, he consistently meets women outside of apps. The last time we met, he was talkative, happy, and much more engaged in conversations, a stark contrast to the depressed and bitter person he was during his app days.
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