"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Get off HotorNot! You know better!

Desdinova

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Frankly I'm getting sick of reading posts by people who have put their picture up on hotornot.com. What you're doing when you put your picture up is giving into other people's opinions of you. It usually goes two ways:

High rating = confusion on why you can't pick up women
Low rating = low self-esteem

It's a lose-lose situation if you're looking to improve yourself. All these "rate me" websites thrive on people who are either insecure about their looks, or people who are looking for an ego boost. AFCs are plentiful in the world, and there is no exception here.

Also, why do you need a bunch of strangers to tell you how you look? Other people's opinions aren't going to make you a better person. Only you can do that. Unless you have tons of money to spend on plastic surgery, you're stuck with what you look like. DEAL WITH IT and make the best of it.

Women are the ones who will be screwed in the area of looks since that's what men base their opinions on. Unless you're a woman, quit b1tching about how ugly you are and work on what women are genuinely attracted to - a REAL MAN who knows how to push a woman's attraction buttons, and won't put up with her garbage.

A real man doesn't cry over how ugly he is. That's only going to drive your self-esteem down the 5hithole and your personality will show it. So deal with the way you look, get your ass out there and act like a man was intended to act.... MANLY.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BrotherAP

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Looks are less important than many people give credit for, but way more important than people on this board will admit (yes, Mind, I know you've been saying this for a long time)

All of this studying about how to generate attraction is 100% unnecessary if you are good looking. The looks will do the work for you. If, however, you are not good looking then you need to work harder to gain this attraction. There is a cutoff with most girls where your looks become a deal breaker - in other words, you can be too ugly to get a particular girl. It's true the other way around, too.

With women, there are also other things that help determine attraction - confidence, status (money, power), social proof, the ability to make her feel good, etc. The less good looking you are, the more of these you need (or to truly get women with ease, be good looking and have all of the above).

Hot or Not is 'for entertainment only.' Anyone who puts their self-image at the mercy of that website is setting himself up (easy for me to say, I scored a 9.8 :D )
 

NoMoreAFC

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i scored a 8.1 but i got lots of 1 votes. i guess some guys voted 1 too so they get a better rating. some girls told me iam an 8 some other that iam a 4 or 5, so looks vary from girl to girl, that's one thing u forgot to mention BrotherAP
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Visceral

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I haven't; but then I don't care about my looks.

You have no idea how great apathy feels! FREEDOM!
 

madgame

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I havent done it either, but actually I'd like to try, but then again I think I should only care about the reactions I get in real life (I mean you notice if girls seem to like your looks or if they don't without a rating system and it doesnt real matter whether you're a 7.5 or a 7.6 or whatever).

Anyways I haven't done it, because I wouldn't want people who I know to see my pic on such a silly website :D.

I dont think that it's a lose/lose situation though. If you get a low rating it's bad for your ego of course, but if you get a good rating, I don't think that'd make me think like "omg Im handsome according to hotornot so why cant I score with chicks?!) lol. But all in all its just plain silly..
 

TedJustAdmitIt

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To be honest if I ever even considered putting my pic on a internet rating site I think I'd give it all up.

Nothing screams desperate more than putting stock in a complete stranger's opinion of your looks:down:
 

Visceral

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Don't be too hard on yourself, Desdinova.

Nirvana is a state devoid of both desire and sensation - and as such is seriously overrated ;)

I actually envy those men whose insatiable appetites drive them through masculinizing pain to glorious achievement, giving them pleasures that are beyond anything I can imagine.

The secret to even greater happiness is to enjoy your mortal combat with the Universe, not to withdraw from it.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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zerocelcius

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i was a 9.9 but fell to a 9.8! HA HA Hate me if it makes you feel better.

And only ugly people hate hot or not.

just playing.
 

Royal-tiger

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I am not going to argue about "Hot or Not" site since it is a matter of personal preference. And my *****ing is not likely to change anyone's opinion.

Just think, if you are above 90% (or so) people on the site in terms of ranking then how come you don't see more of the lower ranking people? Afterall they should be in abundance following the frequency distribution.

My link is: Here.


P.S.: I don't care about the score on the site!
 

Doc73

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I had my picture on Hotornot up for about two days because I wanted an honest opinion on how I looked (its ok, you can laugh your heads off at me. I didnt know better at that time). Thankfully I came to my senses and took it down.

I realized that sites like that are very inaccurate, and that if I wanted an honest opinion on my looks and constructive critizism (sp) on how to improve said looks, that I am better off posting here (something I plan to do once I finish moving)
 

Luveno

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Just to let you all know, you can use the meeting people section of hotornot without having your picture rated.

The system is statistically flawed anyhow. The ratings are pointless.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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everywomanshero

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h or n

Likewise, I have my picture on hot or not. I've met quite a few locals from the site. Most of these people were attractive but flakey. I have been seeing one girl for a couple months now that I met through this venue.

She recently told me her x-husband tested positive for HIV and she has still been seeing him until recently. We've had unprotectec sex on a few occasions. Way too early to go getting all excited, but it does make a guy think.... Obviously, you have to be careful these days.
 

BrotherAP

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Re: h or n

Originally posted by everywomanshero
Likewise, I have my picture on hot or not. I've met quite a few locals from the site. Most of these people were attractive but flakey. I have been seeing one girl for a couple months now that I met through this venue.

She recently told me her x-husband tested positive for HIV and she has still been seeing him until recently. We've had unprotectec sex on a few occasions. Way too early to go getting all excited, but it does make a guy think.... Obviously, you have to be careful these days.
Too early to get excited? I'd sh!t my pants, damnit.
 

ReT

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I wouldn't just say Hotornot, but every website to pickup woman.... Online simply isn't the place to pickup woman at all I've found.
 

Carpe_Diem

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one of my favourite sayings:

'Looks get you the interview, but your personality will get you the job.'
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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