Get my mind off my last girl

[kel]

Long story short, I just had a not-so-fun breakup with my girlfriend. I'm not worried about getting her back or why this happened right now.

The only thing that's really bothering me is a little case of one-itis. She was one of the few girls ive met that I really connected to and actually cared about. I'm going to miss the steady source of sex, but I can find other girls to sleep with.

Its true, i'm one of those caring sensitive type guys, which doesn't always go with DJ principles. I like LTRs and security whenever possible. So basically, i'm just asking people how to deal with this so i dont turn all emo and mopey.

EDIT: Damnit, wrong forum. Mods, move to discussion pleace?

 

[water]

First bro, take it EZ. Many people experience this before and most make it thro well and fine. You will too bro . Secondly, there is nothing wrong abt being sensitive. Also don't believe everything you read abt C&F. Many things in life you really need to try out in life to know whether it works. Talking big and empty is always easy. Generalization is always unwise. There are girls out there who will appreciate C&F but others who prefer a more 'traditional' approach (but with humor, care, a bit of 'hard-to-get' and a tate bit of AFC modus operandi). A fine line that is challenging to find. Make more friends...talk to buddies...just get out and enjoy hobbies. About getting the sex during this time of depression from other girls, to prevent hurting others I personally won't do it. That's just me. About one-itis: if you want to get serious with a woman, you have to get into some sort of one-itis mentality. I don't think there is anything wrong with it; committing to one woman and yet getting involved with other women just doesn't make sense to me. My 2c worth. You should be fine

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

There's nothing wrong with LTRs. The problem is when you dwell on past LTRs. Do an autopsy of your past relationship, identify what went wrong, why it went wrong and what YOU are going to do different next time. Then go out, have a good time growing your DJ skills and who knows, you may come across your next LTR.

 

[kel]

I know why it all went wrong. only a small portion is my fault...and my fault was getting myself into a situation i shouldn't have gotten into. I'm trying really hard to just keep my chin and spirit up. I'm trying to just make sure I have things to do where I'll be able to go out and flirt and have fun since I know a little extra validation from some girls will do wonders to lift my mood.

Someone should still move this to discussion though....i meant to post it there.

 

[water]

Yo Kel, I suggest you just post another on the discussion board. If you want to hear more constructive opinion, you need to tell us the specifics...and again, sleeping with other girls will not help. believe me, it may give you more instability and even bruised ego if anyone of these girls is to reject you when she senses that you are using her. Talk to friends instead. A few months ago, i experienced that...so I know how you feel. Friends do help.

 

[kel]

I see your point, Water. I've been talking to friends but theres not much they can do to ease the pain. my friends kinda suck at that...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The most that friends will ever be able to do is to be a sounding board (much like this forum). They may be able to offer advice but good or bad, it won't mean sh1t if YOU don't choose to do something about your situation.

I still say that you need to get out and meet other women. Neither you nor I mentioned anything about sleeping with them. Your idea about flirting for validation usually helps but again, it won't mean much unless you choose to come out of the state you are in.

I've been on the rebound since September and it's the best rebound that I've had in my entire life. I went through the past with a fine tooth comb and decided what I needed to do to get to the place where I wanted to be. I was back on the right track within a couple of weeks. I met several new 'friends' that more than validated me, they became a part of my life.

Don't feel that you need to wallow or pay any penance, it's a waste of valuable energy. Even if you choose to go out and just spend time devoted to your own interests, do it! Action (not time) heals all wounds.

 

[FunnyCide]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Action (not time) heals all wounds.

I like that, I've spent time dwelling on the past before and basically waiting for the pain to go away. I realized that time spent waiting equals time spent wasting. I got up one day joined the gym, picked up my old passion playing bball, and slowly things started to turn my way again. Life's about up and downs even the best DJ has his downs but a DJ just knows how to deal with it and thus get out of it much faster.

So pick up where you left off before you met this girl and continue on with your life.

 

[Nocturnal]

discussion

 

[FrankWank]

only way your gonna get over her is to go out and tap more azz

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Read Fransisco's posts..he knows his stuff inside out.

To add...bro..you're only 20 years old...there will be TONS of women in your future that will screw your head up even worse than this one..hahaha

I say this, not in a pessimistic tone...but in a tone of optimism. Yeah..there will be TONS more women in your time. But, you have found this site and will know how to sift through the hoes and the bullsh*t to find a woman worthy of you.

Don't sweat this bro...once you hit 21 its a WHOLE DIFFERENT BALLGAME!

 

[Aztec]

Hang in there

It will get better. There will be times that her image will brush in your thoughts but as time goes on, with action, the pain goes away.


This experience just happened to me last month. Sometimes I still wonder what went wrong in the relationship but it has gotten better when I talk about it with friends, meeting new people, keeping myself busy with job and school.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by kel
Long story short, I just had a not-so-fun breakup with my girlfriend. I'm not worried about getting her back or why this happened right now.

The only thing that's really bothering me is a little case of one-itis. She was one of the few girls ive met that I really connected to and actually cared about. I'm going to miss the steady source of sex, but I can find other girls to sleep with.

Its true, i'm one of those caring sensitive type guys, which doesn't always go with DJ principles. I like LTRs and security whenever possible. So basically, i'm just asking people how to deal with this so i dont turn all emo and mopey.

EDIT: Damnit, wrong forum. Mods, move to discussion pleace?

Understand that if you had stayed WITH her, not only would you not have gotten the kind of affection you were looking for, but you would have ALSO been BOUND to her via commitment.

The simple fact is that her warranty ran out and she isn't built to last. Not for what YOU want her for, anyway. Nothing against her, but she just couldn't give enough to satisfy you. So she bailed. Or you did, whichever it was. But there will be others.

Sure it hurts, but scars are signs of a life well-lived. Be proud of them.

 

[kel]

Good replies all around. I've gotten a LOT better since saturday night. I was some kind of mess yesterday too, but today's been good. I've got my energy back for the most part, and I suspect that I'll be back in the game soon enough!

I'm stuck with the problem that I'm going home from school on wednesday, and I have NO idea how or where to meet women at home. I'm still new to all this DJing stuff and all my practice has been at a school with 70% females. I dont feel confident going to clubs yet (dont rush me on this one folks!) and i have very few wingmen at home as well. I've been working hard to not have a stagnant social life in my hometown but its a small town with very little to do. It gets better with the more I learn from this site but I dont want to stagnate.

I'll feel really awful if I dont meet some womens this winter! The bottom line is that I'm a good-looking guy with a great personality and a lot going on in my life, but I have some real confidence issues which make it harder to realize my potential. I'm just ranting now but sometimes that helps.

Anyway if y'all got advice on that as well, I'm happy to hear it. Thanks for the great replies guys. I know that I can count on this forum for sound advice.

 

[jbbrain]

just curious:what happened?

I thought I was pegged to be best man!?!?

Hint: Sarcasm

Whether you wish to reply or not, rest assured you'll be back in the game in no time.

 

[kel]

Haha, what happened isn't important;

I'll say this though: It was my first serious relationship since I learned any DJ stuff and all that and I was so overwhelmed it went back to my normal AFC self. Combined with the fact that she's a little nuts anyway, it never woulda worked.

I miss her as a person right now becuase she's the kind of person I'd end up as really good friends with, but right now I'm not talking to her.

This just reinforces my belief that college is NOT a time for serious relationships unless you're so damn in love that you can't help it.