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someone800

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Hey,

I am having just the toughest time being able to practice being a DJ. I just can't seem to talk to girls at school. I mean really, where else can I besides school? There are very few dances and very few times a teen club I know is open. In school, I have my friends around me and in class (a few of which are great friends, but for what I am trying to do, hamper my trying to be a DJ-ness), but because of that, I just can't seem to talk to the other crowd of people (where the girls are). Also, I just don't know how to approach. I mean, this is my nightmare situation:
Me: *walks up to hot girl in spare class time when people are socializing-she is talking to a group of friends* "Hey, nice necklace."
Her: *What the heck is this guy doing? He's always a quite guy and doesn't talk much. Ewwwwww.* "Uh...thanks." *Creeped out look*
Me: *Thoughtless*
I just don't know what to do. And yeah, I know some of you are probably going to say expand your social group of friends. But how can I do that? Of all my friends, it is like a circle. It is hard to get in unless you are like us apparently (smart, like games, computers...). Also, it is kinda hard to get out.
It is a ring, to meet new people, girls I know would just know other people in the circle.
Now, you're probably wondering about the interesting title of this thread. Well, I am asking for your help in getting the ball rolling for me at becoming a DJ socially. I want advice that would, if I wanted to and correctly used it, get laid tomorrow. Naturally, I won't even if I had the chance because of my morals, but I think you get the idea that I want to go all out.
Additionally, since I am really wanting to get the ball rolling, here are some examples of social or possible social situations I am in almost daily at school:

-10 to 20 minutes before school, the halls and locker areas are full of people. Some of my friends are scattered around sitting down. Lots of socializing groups.
-First class there is a HB6.5 that I casually talk short statements/conversation to. Behind me is a HB6/6.5 that seems smart but never talk to. There are other HB4.5s-8.5s scattered in the class
-Second class there are all guys (computer class). One HB4.5/5.
-Third class there are a couple HB3.5s-ish at my table. I casually talk to one sometimes. There are a few other <HB5s in the class with one to two HB6.5s at the max
-Fourth class I'm going to go into more detail. There is a HB7.5/8 left, HB1.5/2 behind, HB7 in front, HB8 diagonal front left, HB7 diagonal front right. Yeah...Great opportunities waiting for me eh? The problem is, I am worried because I have never really exchanged any words with these people. They are in another social class at school, and by randomly trying to casually chat, I would imagine they would be "Ewwww..." Sure you might say to me to try anyways cause I have nothing to loose. Well, I would have to sit next to these people for possibly the rest of the school year. Additionally, there are a few other HB2s-7s in the class.
-Fifth class is a kinda large nerd class. I talk frequently/socialize with a HB6.5/7. There are a lot of HB1.5s-3s in the class with one HB7 (Freshman though). Also on the other side of this girl I talk to during class, there is a HB6/6.5 (Sophmore). She is usually quiet and I have never really talked to her all year, but I keep thinking she is checking me out....or that could be my wishful thinking. Sure, approach her you might say. Well, she seems to be one of those really nice girls who may freak at moves, but then again she dresses to attract I can tell.
-Sixth class I'm going to explain about. Great friend that cares for me a lot but has gotten really strange recently. Has lots of outbursts of bringing imaginary into the real world. People comment on that. Another good "normal" friend sitting front left. Front is a HB5 that I am acquaintances with. Behind is a group of HB5s-8.5 that are smart crowd-haven't really talked to them, but they know my social stiffness I believe. There are also a bunch of HB2-HB8.5s scattered in the class.
-Seventh class is another sausage fest (computer class) but with one HB7.5 that sits remotely in front of me. However, she seems anti-social to the class except the teacher. Also, I think she has a boy friend.
-After school there are a bunch of people in the lockers/walking the hallways. Bunch of nerds to normal people hanging up in front of the school.
-*There are 5 minute passing breaks between classes that people are rushing/walking through the halls/lockers.

So, theres my social situations at school, I really would appreciate things I can do to practice being a DJ in the almost daily situations I am in.

Thanks.
 

someone800

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john paul said:
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/
start at step one.
Once you have read it you can come back with more specific questions.
Thanks, but this is specific. I have read a lot of those articles-I believe well over 100 pages. I have read those examples of approaching women-one of my favorite lessons from the Book of Pook for example is:

"It is better to act rather than not" or something like that. Basically it is saying to you'll regret it less if you act.

But the thing is, I have read through a lot of those pages and this is like my "mega round" or finally attacking becoming a DJ-basically getting the ball rolling and I find it hard (read topic post).

So, any replies based on the topic post?

Thanks.
 

GaryUranga

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ok Ive done a lot of "coaching" with some online friends and some real life friends if youre interested, what do you use for IMing? MSN, AIM? (xfire :p )

I think I can help you out a lot (and I actually get better by teaching) you seem to be stuck in a social role that you play, man relaize, youre not a label, theres no real social classes, the moment I started ignoring social status or classes or standards thats the moment I became one of the higher social class guys and dude who I am, the things that I like.. playign computer games etc etc all the thigns that would be nerdy they dont really matter, just break the social label.

Also.. I think the people youre hangin out with are seeign you as the lower guy and theyre just acting accordingly to the social rule and keepign you there, and of course youre playign along, I used to get this that when I was walking with someone and we found some we both knew I would shut up and let them talk as if they wer emore important, I was playing the role, this is somehtign you have to break.
 

Crazy Asian

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lol xfire.....ur so 1337 :crackup:
 

Crazy Asian

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to the OP.
the thing is, high school... isab1tch.

It can't be done in a few days or even a month. It'll take probably about a year to get to where you want to be.

What you need to do is work on ur social skills. Be comfortable talking to ANYBODY. Look everyone straight in the eye and smile, never be the first to look away. Work out. Talk to random guys or girls and once you build that connection, ask them to hang out with ur other friends. Just meet new people and invite them to movies, laser tag, poker, w/e, and just have fun with them. After a while, they'll invite you if they think ur cool enough, and then you can slowly get ot know their friends and become part of their social group.
 

sandman6991

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Crazy Asian...great points! Also to add, join some clubs or sports teams. I know it may not be your thing, but once I joined the football team, it's like an automatic door to a whole new social circle.
 

1life

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someone800 said:
Behind is a group of HB5s-8.5 that are smart crowd-haven't really talked to them, but they know my social stiffness I believe.
...no, they don't give a **** about you..they don't know who you are..right now you are just the dude who sits in front of them in class. STOP thinking that ppl "know" you are a shy nerd..read about inner game and confidence. That was step 1.

When you have erased all your negatives beliefs about you..just go to class, sit next to one of the chick, and immediately start the convo. You dont need any bs like "hey, nice necklace" (wtf)..you just start the convo by saying "hey, whats up?...then.. how was your weekend? (then she will ask you the same question...time to DHV a bit) ...then.. man thats funny, ive been in this class for 4months, and i dont know your name and ive never talked to you haha where have you been hiding all this time!?!" blablabla..you see the pattern.

NOW she knows who "someone800" is..and next time you see her in the hallway, be sure to say hi, and start another small convo if you have time..so that's it..you now know a new chick.

Do this in every class and in about a month you will know 20girls and +, then you get those digits, start going to parties...you see them, you greet them and you meet their friends, etc..
 

someone800

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1life said:
...no, they don't give a **** about you..they don't know who you are..right now you are just the dude who sits in front of them in class. STOP thinking that ppl "know" you are a shy nerd..read about inner game and confidence. That was step 1.
Thanks, but I can at least hear these girls chuckling/commenting about weird things about my friend to the left of me. It sort of sets a "mood" of them I believe.

When you have erased all your negatives beliefs about you..just go to class, sit next to one of the chick, and immediately start the convo. You dont need any bs like "hey, nice necklace" (wtf)..you just start the convo by saying "hey, whats up?...then.. how was your weekend? (then she will ask you the same question...time to DHV a bit) ...then.. man thats funny, ive been in this class for 4months, and i dont know your name and ive never talked to you haha where have you been hiding all this time!?!" blablabla..you see the pattern.
That makes sense...a lot. However, wouldn't it be weird for the girl if this random guy who has always been sitting next to her (seating chart) suddenly started talking to her? On top of that, when I talk to hot girls I haven't talked to before, my voice sometimes stutters and I become uncomfortable. Those can be more easily hidden than this: my face turns a very, very, very noticeable red. I know this too, and sometimes people have pointed it out. Yeah, I could blow it off-but what if the girl asks why my face is red? My truthful answer would be, "Because you're a hot/cute girl and I am finally talking to you." (even if she didn't have a boyfriend, that would be pretty weird and a fast move). And on top of that, remember I have to sit next to these people for potentially the rest of the school year :)cuss: seating charts).

NOW she knows who "someone800" is..and next time you see her in the hallway, be sure to say hi, and start another small convo if you have time..so that's it..you now know a new chick.

Do this in every class and in about a month you will know 20girls and +, then you get those digits, start going to parties...you see them, you greet them and you meet their friends, etc..
Yeah, thanks for this overall great answer, but I just got to get past this insecurity. Sure, you might say to "wet my feet" by going places, but I have tried that and found the true place of practice is at school. After all, that's a lot of where I want to put being a DJ into action-right?




ok Ive done a lot of "coaching" with some online friends and some real life friends if youre interested, what do you use for IMing? MSN, AIM? (xfire )
Either. Let me know, you can help yourself by teaching as you said, and I can learn. Thanks.

I think I can help you out a lot (and I actually get better by teaching) you seem to be stuck in a social role that you play, man relaize, youre not a label, theres no real social classes, the moment I started ignoring social status or classes or standards thats the moment I became one of the higher social class guys and dude who I am, the things that I like.. playign computer games etc etc all the thigns that would be nerdy they dont really matter, just break the social label.
Good point, but all these things just don't seem as easy as this forum/site makes them. For example, the social class thing, sure I could "ignore" it, but what about the girls/other people in the other social classes?

Also.. I think the people youre hangin out with are seeign you as the lower guy and theyre just acting accordingly to the social rule and keepign you there, and of course youre playign along, I used to get this that when I was walking with someone and we found some we both knew I would shut up and let them talk as if they wer emore important, I was playing the role, this is somehtign you have to break.
Wow, you pretty much just described me. The thing is, with most of these people, I have been friends with them for years. On top of that, one of my friends knows more people than I do, so when we're walking down the halls sometimes he will stop and talk to someone with me, only I don't know that person, so I just stand there-or I know them, we just haven't talked and they probably view me socially low.
 

1life

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someone800 said:
Thanks, but I can at least hear these girls chuckling/commenting about weird things about my friend to the left of me. It sort of sets a "mood" of them I believe..
**** them..that's the kind of superficial ******s you dont want to chill with. (Unless your friend is a total freak)

someone800 said:
That makes sense...a lot. However, wouldn't it be weird for the girl if this random guy who has always been sitting next to her (seating chart) suddenly started talking to her?
Scratch that idea off your mind bro..there was this chick in my chemistry class..never, never, never talked to her and she always used to talk with one of my friend (so she knew I was sitting next to him and not talking to anybody)..next semester I see this chick in my French class..first thing I do is say: "hey wassup...passed chemistry?"...and continued the convo..started from there, now she's a good friend of mine and she hooks me up with her girlfriends.

someone800 said:
On top of that, when I talk to hot girls I haven't talked to before, my voice sometimes stutters and I become uncomfortable. Those can be more easily hidden than this: my face turns a very, very, very noticeable red. I know this too, and sometimes people have pointed it out. Yeah, I could blow it off-but what if the girl asks why my face is red? My truthful answer would be, "Because you're a hot/cute girl and I am finally talking to you." (even if she didn't have a boyfriend, that would be pretty weird and a fast move). And on top of that, remember I have to sit next to these people for potentially the rest of the school year :)cuss: seating charts).
Fuk th*t..I used to stutter baaaadly around hot girls...When you think about it, trust me you will stutter (''oh cool..im not stuutututerring ahhhh")...what helped me stopping that is asking myself : "how would brad pitt handle this situation?(the brad pitt from fightclub)" (got this **** from someone else..cant credit..forgot who it was..)


SO what should you do now? Just get over your negatives beliefs about yourself..if you don't like some things about you (physical, clothes, friends..)..well you CAN change. Start now.
 
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