"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Get her to want you.

onlysmiles

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i met this girl at daytona beach on springbreak, hung out with her once and everything went well. Now that SB is over i wont see her unless we work something out, she lives in a whole nother state but only 4hrs away. we been texting eachother ever since we got home (two texting convos), saying how much we like eachother, sending pictures, ect. and i've initiated the convos. so i decided not to talk to her until she initiated the next one so i can see how interested she is, but its been about 5 days and still nothing. Another thing is she has two friends i can talk to.. i could talk to one of them to get her jealous?? but what opinion would say i do, should i move on, call her, or keep hope?


I also know its hard to maintain or force a relationship so far away, but how do you keep someone on they're toes so far away to see you/want you??


:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:


Thanks all for your advice.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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sosilky

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onlysmiles said:
I also know its hard to maintain or force a relationship so far away, but how do you keep someone on they're toes so far away to see you/want you??
listen bud you got to understand something, as romantic as your story sounds, you guys were on a Spring Break, which aside from Las Vegas is the ultimate BREAK FROM REALITY. Now you guys are back to reality and your lives. She's 4 hours away, you guys have probably spent about three days together and your trying to set up long distance jealousy traps. I think she probably likes you too but actions speak louder then words and she is back to her life now. facebook her or whatever and maybe see her down the road, but on a scale of 0-100 you should put a ratio of 1% effort into this. Anymore then that and she'll probably think your desperate and don't have a life of your own. i dated a girl I met on a wild trip that lived states away from me but she showed an equal amount of interest in me as far as comunication goes and it began to build to me going out to see her. Do not put anymore into this then she is. Wait a minute i just noticed you only hung out with her once on that trip......bro...relax
 

DonJuan11

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onlysmiles said:
she lives in a whole nother state but only 4hrs away. we been texting eachother ever since we got home (two texting convos), saying how much we like eachother, sending pictures, ect. and i've initiated the convos. so i decided not to talk to her until she initiated the next one so i can see how interested she is, but its been about 5 days and still nothing. Another thing is she has two friends i can talk to.. i could talk to one of them to get her jealous??

Thanks all for your advice.

Talk to her friend if you want to talk to her, but don't talk to her to make her jealous. If you do that, you are playing into her hand. What happens if she doesn't talk to you for 10 days instead of 5? Are you then going to sleep with her friend to make her jealous ?

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Baby if you give it me, I'll give it to you.
 

onlysmiles

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haha no i dont plan on sleeping with her friend. it just seems if i talk to her friend regardless if im trying to make her jealous or not, she would get jealous anyway, ya know? but one thing i forgot to metion is that her n her friends plan on coming up during the summer if that means anything

i just realized that this whole thing is useless and stupid, but i cant stop thinking bout her.. im goin crazy. really.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Faded Image

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sosilky said:
listen bud you got to understand something, as romantic as your story sounds, you guys were on a Spring Break, which aside from Las Vegas is the ultimate BREAK FROM REALITY. Now you guys are back to reality and your lives. She's 4 hours away, you guys have probably spent about three days together and your trying to set up long distance jealousy traps. I think she probably likes you too but actions speak louder then words and she is back to her life now. facebook her or whatever and maybe see her down the road, but on a scale of 0-100 you should put a ratio of 1% effort into this. Anymore then that and she'll probably think your desperate and don't have a life of your own. i dated a girl I met on a wild trip that lived states away from me but she showed an equal amount of interest in me as far as comunication goes and it began to build to me going out to see her. Do not put anymore into this then she is. Wait a minute i just noticed you only hung out with her once on that trip......bro...relax
Sosilky, I must say that you've learned a lot since you've been here, good advice.
 

sosilky

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Faded Image said:
Sosilky, I must say that you've learned a lot since you've been here, good advice.
well this situation isn't new to me, knew how to handle this situation before coming here, yet i have picked up some knowledge from here. don't listen to don juan11 smiles he obviously doesn't understand the situation. Just follow my advice and if she comes up this summer if its meant to be it will be. If you put all your energy into this ...She wont want to see you when she comes
 

onlysmiles

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7th day she texted me and we chated for a bit :)
but one question. all we've been doing as far as communication wise is, texting. I was thinking to call her in a couple days since i dont want to just text all the time, good idea?

thanks.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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