Genuine Cry for Help Guys

[Chipleader]

OK firstly I apologise for how long this post is going to be. If anyone wants a good laugh at how pathetically AFC Ive been though you should read on. If you read this post please post a reply whether its abuse or advice - I dont care. This is a genuine cry for help.

So anyway Ive just returned from a 2 week holiday in Spain, during which I thought I would put into play all the great stuff Ive learned from this site to hopefully score with some HB 8 or 9's. How different things would turn out to be.
Within the first few nights I had met two HB 9's who worked in different bars. I got on great with both - never being an AFC and using the ****ey comedy stuff really well i.e. getting laughs and obviously creating interest. I knew I had the interest of one girl because she kept asking questions about me to my friends whenever I wasnt there (Im sure this is good sign right?). So far so good, I have the interest of both girls (and a few others I met along the way). Now in a way Im happy that at least I found the courage to talk to these girls, a few months ago I would have got shy just looking at them; but anyway here is where things got ****ed up.
I noticed that the more I thought the first girl I met (i.e. the one who was asking questions to my friends) liked me, I actually began to become afraid of her. This was made much MUCH worse by my friends constantly telling me she was interested and that I should make a move before the end of the holiday. I know they meant well, but I suddenly found myself thinking they were just lying to me so I made a fool of myself hitting on her. How pathetic am I? That must be the most insecue and paranoid thing you have ever heard. You dont even need me to finish the story about what happened with this girl - two weeks passed I never even attempted to hit on her and as much as I wanted to I never had the courage to ask her for her number or give her mine. And now Im sat here nearly suicidal with regret. Anyway enough about major f4ck up number one, let me tell you what happened with the second girl.
The second girl I met I spent a lot more time talking to, and Im sure I had her interest. Well thats what I thought until... I had just been talking to her about half an hour about 2 days before I went home, when she suddenly asked me to tell her what kind of person she was. Seems kind of strange, and I refused to (probably another mistake) but then she said she would tell me what kind of a guy I was. She said I had a very strong personality but it was a front because I felt very insecure inside. I tell you that was like being hit square in the face by a freight train of reality. I have absolutely no idea why she said that, I certainely dont think I act insecue. I mean I didnt feel insecure (I do though after hearing that). My friend said something interesting, he said it wasnt that she thought I was insecure it was that she herself was insecure being around a guy who wasnt bowing to her ever demand and wasnt afraid to tease her. But it doesnt matter either way because after that I was thrown bang of my game and didnt speak to another girl for the rest of the holiday.
So here I am guys, just back from a 2 week holiday having proudly managing to overcome my fear of starting converstations with girls and somehow manging to f4ck things up like this. Anyone got some rope and a bridge?

 

[BOWIE]

She said I had a very strong personality but it was a front because I felt very insecure inside. I tell you that was like being hit square in the face by a freight train of reality.

If that's your reallity then you're born to loose. You have to pick yourself up by the balls and CHANGE. Changing is like learning to ride a bike. You are going to have to practice and while practicing you're going to get scratched and bruised until you develop some skills. People expect things like this to just happen instantly but the mind is very complex and it takes a while to change those things that are deeply rooted in your brain. Be paitent man and don't be afraid to crash a few times.

 

[izza]

Women trust their gut much more than men, and as one cannot emphasize enough, the gut is everything. This girl's gut saw through your sosuave facade of confidence and could still feel the insecure inside. The question isn't how were you acting, but how were you feeling? If you were feeling insecure (which you obviously were) then this girl is bang on. It's going to take years of work to get that insecurity to go away. Better start now.

That being said, her observation isn't necessarily bad. The height of fulfillment for a woman is to perceive sensitivity, even the vulnerability behind man with the tough exterior. Pook says that for women, this discovery *is* the act of falling in love. She obviously wasn't running away.

I suppose this post makes you feel worse. But the truth is that failing to act is as much about learning the game as acting. Non-action can be just as educational about your motivations and character than action. Just be sure to always be building a bridge toward action.

 

[Chipleader]

Thanks for your reply guys. One thing I dont understand is why would a girl want to actually analyze everything I said and did (or didnt say or do) just to tell me Im insecure. I mean she wasnt being negative or nasty when she said it, quite the opposite she was all smiling and that. Just seems a bit strange.

 

[The Monolith]

hi Chipleader, no advice from me sorry just some questions. I'm 18 and I'm going to Spain soon, Alicante to be specific and I'm wondering if you've got any general advice. Stuff to avoid? Best places to go? where will english speaking people be, etc.

by the way, getting two girls interested would be groundbreaking for me so don't feel bad.

 

[Chipleader]

Thanks guys. Anyone got any advice I what I should have done in these situations?

 

[vorbis]

the most important thing Chipleader is to never be fazed by what they say. WAY easier said than done. Any naturals I know just turn everything into a harmless comment. When she mentioned the insecure comment, you could have responded with ****iness, maybe even agreed with her and build comfort with her by talking about it. The most important thing is just to keep talking and not to get fazed by anything she says.

 

[Rondavu]

Learn from it and do better next time. That's all you can do.

 

[Chipleader]

Probably an AFC question, but anyway: There is a chance I will see these 2 girls again (at least 1 anyway), is it worth continuing trying to pull them or should I just move on and accept Ive missed my chance.

 

[Serialized3]

Keep going out and getting field experience man, It's taken me 5+ years to get good at this kind of stuff, and it would have been much less if I hadn't been a puss and not going out much for 2 years in the middle.

Keep it up, you're just getting started.