Gents, I need your help

[Jackpnicholson]

So, been with this girl 9 months. She's 8 months pregnant. Yes, yes, I know..
I've been trying to stick around for my unborn daughter's sake, as if I left she wouldn't put me on the birth certificate and all that.
But though she's my ONEitis and all that, I caught her messaging her ex and hiding all sorts of s*** from me. It hurts like a ***** but I don't know what to do. Any advice would be great. The thought of me leaving breaks me but I don't trust her one bit

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Best way to handle it is to understand that your daughter, and your relationship with your GF are two completely separate matters. I don't have any kids so unsure of the implications you are talking about regarding the birth certificate, but I can't imagine what that would matter. If she does that and you want to have an active role in your daughter's life, then you get a DNA test and then go to court and you will have a right to see your daughter (possibly even have primary custody, if that's what you want and depending on your vs her circumstances but usually the deck is stacked in the woman's favor). Regardless of what she does or doesn't do, you are on the hook to pay child support either way.

You don't give us enough info about her behavior for us to know if she really is shady, or if you're just being insecure and jealous. But if it's the former, your sticking around "for the sake of your daughter" isn't going to help you or the daughter because this girl WILL dump you, get with another dude, and you'll be left to pay child support regardless while she enjoys riding some other guy or guys who don't have to pay a dime. She has ZERO reasons for sticking with you on account of the kid, simply because she knows you are legally obligated to pay for the kid either way. The only way she's going to stick with you is because she wants you and is attracted to you, just like in any other situation. So again, the kid has nothing to do with it.

 

[backseatjuan]

Awe you're coming from such a beautiful and romantic place, man. I've been there, and done worst, the kid wasn't mine, and I even knew that. Enjoy the moment! I'm truly jealous of you, the place I'm at has all the holes in my soul healed, and then concrete poured over it, I feel absolutely no emotions these days.

Unfortunately that is what women do. At this point in time she has your baby, they go through hormonal crap during pregnancy, and after pregnancy it's gonna get even worst. Nothing you can say here, even best to not say or message her anything, you don't want her emotional during pregnancy. Back the f off. She will come around, starting messaging you, calling, trying to see you, at which point you will tell her we need to talk like adults, in person. Tell her she is not treating you like a man that you are.. Pause. Either you will respect me, or you are going to look for a new man. Pause.. I heard that men these days are lining up for a woman with a kid. Nothing else, don't even listen to her, stand up and leave.

You live with her?

 

[lamath]

Make sure baby is yours,
This is not good 9 month with a girl and she pregnant 8. Seriously.make sure its yours

 

[Focal core]

Without marriage certificate your signature on your unborn birth certificate are worthless, in the court of law you have no rights on her, my advised is best to leave, get back your power over her, let her know you're in charge in your life, she'll definately come to you for the child support in near future, that's when you started to making the move into the life of your kids wether legally or emotionally.

Don't hesitate to leave, dont u ask yourself why she wants to keep her unborn in the first place? To make you stick around to support her, she doesn't care wether she's ****ing another man or not, u will be the doting male. She will definately come around when you leave.. Leave now, get your power back, make it your own term if she wants to get back together again.

 

[Alvafe]

Without marriage certificate your signature on your unborn birth certificate are worthless, in the court of law you have no rights on her, my advised is best to leave, get back your power over her, let her know you're in charge in your life, she'll definately come to you for the child support in near future, that's when you started to making the move into the life of your kids wether legally or emotionally.

Don't hesitate to leave, dont u ask yourself why she wants to keep her unborn in the first place? To make you stick around to support her, she doesn't care wether she's ****ing another man or not, u will be the doting male. She will definately come around when you leave.. Leave now, get your power back, make it your own term if she wants to get back together again.

I find that of birth certificate hard to belive since that is used for child support, without that she have to prove her child is his, unless in france where if she says its your you are ****ed

 

[Focal core]

I find that of birth certificate hard to belive since that is used for child support, without that she have to prove her child is his, unless in france where if she says its your you are ****ed

Either ways op are pretty much ****ed, I'm sorry to say this but the only thing op can do right now is to realize of what lies ahead and wear a crash helmet because he's heading straight for a tornado, either leave now and get his power back have his shlt together and making wise plan for the future or stay and being sucked to dry.

 

[backseatjuan]

There is that chance baby is not his!

But whatever, it's not the kids fault, it never is, it is parents who are at fault, mothers and fathers. If you'd just pull away, she will come around. They always do that. Look at this way, nobody wants a woman with a kid, nobody.

Although, I was dating a single mother back in the day, as a matter of fact my account is named after her. She had a kid several months old, something with a hubby or a lack of hubby. Anyway, this is one of those that if you post for advice on forum, you'd get 20 dudes saying don't pursue, and all that. I did push her for a date, and I got it at 11 or so in the evening. I drove and got her, and we went and grabbed some fast food, and I drove her on top of this mountain with a nice view. We ate and chatted and then I fked her on the back seat of my car, no condom, and I came inside her. Then we met one more time, and same thing, I came inside her. That was the end of it, I don't even remember her name now. I think she went back to her hubby or boyfriend or whoever was the father of the kid. Maybe, let's hope, they had another one 9 months later and he or she is being raised in a nice loving family.

 

[lamath]

Imo there is still a good chance kid is not his.
If it is and you want the kid in your life, there is thing you can do.


Be very carefull op, this can screw up your future in a way that might be hard to understand right now.

 

[Spaz]

Dump both child and mother.

Doesn't matter if it's urs or not.

No matter how this situation is played out, you as the man still loses out in the end.