Gentlemen, I'm in need of counsel.

[Rhoto]

I turn 25 in June, so I hope I can post in this forum.

I've been in a relationship, correction was in a relationship, that literally would've been one year tomorrow.

Start off last April, mild flirting, a couple of dates. I come to learn she has a boyfriend and cease pursuit in June. I hear through the grapevine, towards the end of summer, that she is single and interested in me.

We hit it off, really well. Very similar values and beliefs, great sex, yadda yadda.

She moves away to take a job with the Dodgers, and I remain in SF. Phone calls, video chat, whatever. We're good.

I ****ed up on V-Day, didn't get her anything cause I had to pay bills instead of getting flowers. I made it up to her the next day.

I ****ed up again recently at a company retreat, where I didn't give her the level of attention she wanted.

She cited these instances as me, not caring for her. I can see how I made her feel bad, but I apologized profusely and took action to really show her that she meant a lot to me, and I wanted her to be part of my life.

This morning, she breaks it off with me.

It's really thrown me off all day. I really fcking hate this feeling.

I really opened up to this girl, and she accepted and felt closer to me for it (or at least she said). I feel like a fcking moron now.

But it hurts man. It hurts. Last night, she said: "Baby I love you and I want us to work."

Today: "My heart isn't in it anymore, I'm sorry."

I don't know how to feel, I'm numb but aching. I don't want to sound whiny and such, but I worked really for 3-4 years to try and eliminate this possibility, and it hasn't worked. I feel like everything I learned about strength and fortitude of character and mind have been destroyed, and in its place is a sad little boy, afraid of what he can't control.

I feel right now, like I did in high school, as a bona-fide AFC. I don't claim the mantle alpha or anything, but I stopped being a chump a while back.

I guess its easy for me in hindsight to say, do X, or say Y or whatever. But I feel powerless, I was able to bed her and make her fall in love with me, but I couldn't sustain the relationship. I'm not looking for marriage, but I want some one to be intimate with at the end of the day.

I know, that it will pass. But do I just endure? I'm feeling it affect my work, I really spaced out through a meeting today, forgot to follow up with a colleague. It hangs on me, that I am the causation of the break down. I really enjoyed being with her, I really enjoyed giving it to her, I really enjoyed the possibility of a real future together.

But, I don't know what to feel, do or think right now. I guess I'm just asking the tribal elders: What should I do? What should I learn? What should be my next step?

Fck, I never thought this would happen to me again.

Oh, and she's going to jail in June for selling X at a rave to an undercover.

Regards,

 

[Jitterbug]

What she told you (the V-Day incident and other sh1t) are just excuses on the surface. A woman wouldn't dump a man she's really into over those. If you have her heart, you can do a hell lot worse and she'd still get down on her knees.

Your problem was that you were more into her than she was into you, and just from the little you've posted here, you had her on a very high pedestal, trying desperately to cater for her every need for attention.

Your next step is to date around as many women as possible while keeping your emotions and feelings under control. Try not to fall in love with one until she begs you to and has consistently demonstrated good behaviours over a long period (at least a year).

 

[Warrior74]

I'm no wise elder, more like a fringe lunatic.

I turn 25 in June, so I hope I can post in this forum.

I've been in a relationship, correction was in a relationship, that literally would've been one year tomorrow.

Start off last April, mild flirting, a couple of dates. I come to learn she has a boyfriend and cease pursuit in June. I hear through the grapevine, towards the end of summer, that she is single and interested in me.

We hit it off, really well. Very similar values and beliefs, great sex, yadda yadda.

She moves away to take a job with the Dodgers, and I remain in SF. Phone calls, video chat, whatever. We're good.

I ****ed up on V-Day, didn't get her anything cause I had to pay bills instead of getting flowers. I made it up to her the next day.

I ****ed up again recently at a company retreat, where I didn't give her the level of attention she wanted.

She cited these instances as me, not caring for her. I can see how I made her feel bad, but I apologized profusely and took action to really show her that she meant a lot to me, and I wanted her to be part of my life.

This morning, she breaks it off with me.

It's really thrown me off all day. I really fcking hate this feeling.

I really opened up to this girl, and she accepted and felt closer to me for it (or at least she said). I feel like a fcking moron now.

But it hurts man. It hurts. Last night, she said: "Baby I love you and I want us to work."

Today: "My heart isn't in it anymore, I'm sorry."


Oh, and she's going to jail in June for selling X at a rave to an undercover.

Regards,

In Bold are the parts that you must see as massive mistakes. LDRs are fiction. Frame Grabs. Buying into her frame. Chumping out hard. Apologizing and "making it up". Placing her happiness above your own. Company picnic, your not there to give her attention as much as to do the company thing. It's a company **** test, lets see who can screw up and let their guard down. Hope it was her company and not yours because she should STFU about that if it was yours. Selling X? Really? WTF is that about?

In the words of Church Hill. Keep Calm, Carry On.

In the words of SS. Hit the gym, go fvck 10 other women, next, no contact.

In the words of Kurtis Blow. These are the breaks.

In the words of Warrior74. Sorry man, we all been there. Life goes on. Keep ya head up go read some Roissy and good luck.

 

[Bible_Belt]

she's going to jail in June for selling X at a rave to an undercover.

Was it a Federal charge? 5 years is the lowest sentence I have heard of. If it's Fed time she'll do 85% of it.

Going to jail probably influenced her decision to break it off with you.

 

[DJDamage]

She cited these instances as me, not caring for her. I can see how I made her feel bad, but I apologized profusely and took action to really show her that she meant a lot to me, and I wanted her to be part of my life.

Never apologize profusely to a woman. If you fvck up then apologize before she can call you on it (once) and then make it up to her through your actions not words. The more a woman is into you the more she will be willing to look the other way or forgive you if you fvck up here and there. If her demands for apology are excessive or are ridiculous in nature then don't apologize and stick to your guns, you will be in a better position in the end.

Oh, and she's going to jail in June for selling X at a rave to an undercover.

It would be a d1ck move to send her a picture in jail with your new girlfriend and saying how good your life is right now and hope she is doing well..... just saying.

 

[sodbuster]

SELLING X? and you thought she was a keeper? I think you need to raise your standards....and maybe your value as a man[in order to attract those higher quality women]if you thought she was "IT"