"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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General question

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Obsidian

Master Don Juan
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There might not actually be one single answer for this, but I was wondering:

If a girl is somewhat nervous around you (perhaps while you're going out with her for the first time), is that good, bad, or neither? I used to think it was good because it indicated that she recognized your high relative value. But I never was really sure.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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danielzxc

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In my book, that is definitely good.

It might make it harder for you, 'cos it might make YOU more nervous, but it's better than that if she just acted "freely", because that would show she's not all that concerned about how she comes across to you -- ie, that your opinion of her is of little concern to her.

Of course, if she DOES act freely, that doesn't necessarily mean she's not into you, because maybe she's just a confident girl. (Then again, think about it, if she was with Brad Pitt you think she'd be a bit more nervous, right?)
 
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