general dating tips needed

[bookman]

ok so I am 20 years old, in the university(as discussed in a previous thread ) the end of semester is coming in 2 weeks, and that's when I plan to call and ask thisgirl out(until then we have our finals so neither of us would be free)

I know from other articles that I'm supposed to have everythign planned before asking her out, as in where we would go and when and what do we do...

I plan on asking her out for coffee(something low pressure, where we can talk and I can get to know her better) but my questions are:

1) since we live in seperate areas(we are not very far apart but still), should the shop be closer to my home or hers?

2) should I pick her up or should she drve and meet me there herself?

3) if I ask her for coffee and she says she doesn't drink coffee for example(she might be sayign the truth, I don't drink coffee ) should I suggest somethign else or just take it as a hint of non interest?

4) when do I set up the date to be? on a weekend? on the day after I call? I am worried that if I suggest a following day or somethign too near, she might be busy. do I ask first if she is doing something on*insert day here* or do I throw my date proposal and wait for her to come up with some excuse?

help

 

[Igetit!]

the end of semester is coming in 2 weeks, and that's when I plan to call and ask thisgirl out

This girl...is she someone you already know,or a girl you've just seen from afar,have never spoken to,and plan to ask out?


And if she is someone you already know,how long have you known her,how often do you talk to her (if you do),and what do you two talk about?
(PLEASE answer these question as accurately as you can.)

I know from other articles that I'm supposed to have everythign planned before asking her out, as in where we would go and when and what do we do...

Right.

One of the WORST things you can do is ask a girl out,have her say yes,then YOU ask her what she wants to do.

I plan on asking her out for coffee(something low pressure,

Coffee sounds boring. Try something fun to do,an action date.

Miniture golf,bowling,a walk in mall,something to where you're not just "sitting there". Coffee might be fine afterwards,but for a date itself...not so much.

but my questions are:

1) since we live in seperate areas(we are not very far apart but still), should the shop be closer to my home or hers?

This doesn't really matter,but I'd probably have it closer to my place.

Women have a tendency to flake,so if she does at least you won't have driven too far out of your way for nothing.

2) should I pick her up or should she drve and meet me there herself?

I say to go with picking her up. Just assume that that's what she wants.


Have all the details of the date already worked out with picking her up already assumed and woven into the plans.



Then when you tell her what you two are going to do,if she says she wants to meet you there instead,be like,"Alright,that's cool. Just make sure you're there on time because if you're not,I'm leaving".

3) if I ask her for coffee and she says she doesn't drink coffee for example(she might be sayign the truth, I don't drink coffee ) should I suggest somethign else or just take it as a hint of non interest?

Again,I wouldn't do the "coffee" thing,but if you do and she says that WITHOUT making a counter offer,that would be considered a hint of disinterest.

4) when do I set up the date to be? on a weekend? on the day after I call?

What I generally do is set it up 2 days from the dayt I ask her out.


So if you ask her out on Sunday,the date would be Tuesday,Monday,date on Wednesday,etc.


I may give her a call the day after I get the number just to stir up her emotions,but the date wouldn't be the next day.

I am worried that if I suggest a following day or somethign too near, she might be busy.

Trust me,if she's interested in you,if she's attracted to you,she'll NEVER be "busy". If you ask her out and she already has something planned at the time you asked to see her,SHE'LL SUGGEST another time.


If she just simply says,"I can't,I'm busy",and that's all,then you got a problem.

do I ask first if she is doing something on*insert day here*

NO.


DON'T ASK HER if she's busy on a certain day. Instead,TELL HER when you're free/available.



Ask her out,and if she says yes,be like,"Cool. Alright look,I have to do (whatever) on (whatever day),but I should be free after 3 or 4 oclock.


So I'll come pick you up around (whatever time)".



Just be cool and confident and say it flat out like that.


If she in fact is busy or has to work or whatever,you can work it out then,but the IMPORTANT THING is that you convey your coolness and confidence WHILE ASKING HER OUT.

 

[Matt281]

ok so I am 20 years old, in the university(as discussed in a previous thread ) the end of semester is coming in 2 weeks, and that's when I plan to call and ask thisgirl out(until then we have our finals so neither of us would be free)

I know from other articles that I'm supposed to have everythign planned before asking her out, as in where we would go and when and what do we do...

I plan on asking her out for coffee(something low pressure, where we can talk and I can get to know her better) but my questions are:

1) since we live in seperate areas(we are not very far apart but still), should the shop be closer to my home or hers?

2) should I pick her up or should she drve and meet me there herself?

3) if I ask her for coffee and she says she doesn't drink coffee for example(she might be sayign the truth, I don't drink coffee ) should I suggest somethign else or just take it as a hint of non interest?

4) when do I set up the date to be? on a weekend? on the day after I call? I am worried that if I suggest a following day or somethign too near, she might be busy. do I ask first if she is doing something on*insert day here* or do I throw my date proposal and wait for her to come up with some excuse?

help

What you do kind of depends on how well you know her. If you don't know her at all, action dates can come across as weird ("hi, you don't know me but you wanna go hiking with me in the woods?"). It's up to you either way though. Personally I still like dinner/coffee dates because it's 100% clear you're interested. If you go snowboarding with a girl you know (for example) she might not realize it's a date.

1). Doesn't matter at all.

2). Picking her up is ideal if it seems like she might already be interested. Otherwise you can meet her there because there's less commitment and she can just leave if she doesn't want to be there.

3). Do dinner. "Do you eat?". Doesn't matter if you miss signs of non-interest. Are you really willing to give up a potential date with a girl you like to seem more socially aware if she doesn't like you?

4). Pick a day. She'll figure out a way to make it work if she's interested or suggest another time.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best with the date, but honestly it's pretty likely it won't work out. And you have to be ok with that. The only way to make this work for you is to get lots of experience talking with girls, approaching them, getting their numbers, going on dates and so on. There's no perfect way to get that one girl, and there's really no shortcuts to get good with women.

 

[bookman]

This girl...is she someone you already know,or a girl you've just seen from afar,have never spoken to,and plan to ask out?


And if she is someone you already know,how long have you known her,how often do you talk to her (if you do),and what do you two talk about?
(PLEASE answer these question as accurately as you can.)

I met her last year in biostatistics class, after the class ended I didn't see her again until this year. I hve had her email and phone number since last year, I don't recall how I got it(I think she needed me to loan her a book and for that reason gave me da number) but anyway I barely know her, we barely ever talked

Coffee sounds boring. Try something fun to do,an action date.

Miniture golf,bowling,a walk in mall,something to where you're not just "sitting there". Coffee might be fine afterwards,but for a date itself...not so much.

well all I want is one hour(after that I'll get bored ) and the weather is bad, does not suit any activities, except maybe walkign in the mall, I'll think about it...

3). Do dinner. "Do you eat?". Doesn't matter if you miss signs of non-interest. Are you really willing to give up a potential date with a girl you like to seem more socially aware if she doesn't like you?

I don't like dinners, that would put pressure on me plus how much talkign can she do if she is busy eating?

 

[Igetit!]

I met her last year in biostatistics class, after the class ended I didn't see her again until this year. I hve had her email and phone number since last year, I don't recall how I got it(I think she needed me to loan her a book and for that reason gave me da number) but anyway I barely know her, we barely ever talked

So you're somewhat familiar with her,but don't really know her.

Well,all you can do is simply ask her out. It would be better though if you two didn't know each other at all.


You'll have to put some type of energy,some type of "spark" into asking her out. Don't approach her with the standard,dry cookie-cutter "Would you like to go out sometime?" line.



I don't know what you have planned to say to her,but whatever you say,be bold and confident when you say it.


Women are EMOTIONAL,so if you're nervous,if you're scared,if you're about to wet your pants,WHILE YOU'RE ASKING HER OUT,she'll pick up on the emotion you're feeling and you'll make her feel uncomfortable.


Then she'll come out with the "I think you're a nice guy,but..." line.


So be bold when you ask her out.

well all I want is one hour(after that I'll get bored )

You shouldn't be "bored" on a date. If you get bored,your date will think you're boring.


That's one of the reason I suggested an action date. You can't be bored while having action at the same time.



Plus,an action date will take the preesure off of you to have to talk and entertain her the whole time.

I don't like dinners, that would put pressure on me plus how much talkign can she do if she is busy eating?

I agree with you on this.




I know you already have her number,but I'd ask for it again.

If she asks you if you already have her number,just tell her that you have her number from last year,but you didn't know if it was still the same or not.



One good way to ask out a girl is to simply tell her you're going to so and so place,and YOU WANT her to come with you.



Don't say,"I'd like you to join me". That's being polite.


Drop politeness,and go for boldness/agressiveness. TELL HER you're going to wherever place,and you WANT her to come with you.



And remember...DON'T ASK HER if she'll be busy on whatever day. Instead,tell her when YOU'LL BE FREE.



You're the man,so be the man and lead.

 

[bookman]

Well,all you can do is simply ask her out. It would be better though if you two didn't know each other at all.

she knows nothign about me, except that I am a pharmacy student changing majors

I'm planning a phone call, not sure what to say, I know that I am supposed to phrase it as a "tell her what is going to happen rather than ask" but I do not know the exact words of what I will say, and I will be nervous as hell I promise you that

You shouldn't be "bored" on a date. If you get bored,your date will think you're boring.

what I meant to say was that more than an hour might be too boring for her, I won't be bored, I was just tryign to say that too long may not be a good idea

I know you already have her number,but I'd ask for it again.

If she asks you if you already have her number,just tell her that you have her number from last year,but you didn't know if it was still the same or not.

it won't work, we already exchanged texts on christmas and last easter, she'd send me a happy holidays and I would reply with same to you
plus I texted her once(last month or so) before an exam she had to wish her goodluck(we basicly never talked much I thought that would put me on the map or something)

thanks for your help, am a noob

 

[BigJimbo]

Dude, I have your solution. Be very direct. Don't tippy-toe around her. Just let her know what you want and expect. She will be stunned and turned on. You will be the closest thing she has had to a real live man. Remember - Direct. Not rude and arrogant. Just direct. Keep your sentences short and to the point. Always take the lead. Make sure she follows behind you when you walk. Be a man on a mission. A man with the plan.

Try this constantly in your life. Many won't like you, but who cares. You will find that most people are followers. They want you to lead them. Even if you don't know what the hell you are doing act as if you do. It works for the leaders of the world. If in doubt just fake it. I credit that attitude for all the hot chicks that still want me after I have dumped them.