"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Gay bomb?

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

D!ck Ramsey

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I can only guess that the funders are very, very gay and have tons of cash. Must be those fellas from Queer Eye. They want to do a world makeover.
 

Play the Game

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Pioneering research into a "gay bomb" that makes enemy troops "sexually irresistible" to each other has scooped one of this year's Ig Nobel Prizes.
hahahaha....
 

g g g unit

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now thats a real dirty bomb!!!!!!!!!!!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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They dropped the Homo Bomb in America forty years ago!:rolleyes:
 

Ace of Flames

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Everywhere you want to be.... I'm like a Visa card
I wonder what kind of training drills they would run, to prepare the troops to resist this?

Can't be anything good.
 
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I hope that you'll be able to buy this sh!t cause I bet it works on girls too! Just imagne the scene. One night after you've stumbled home drunk to you're place with you're girl and her hot friend you bring up how you think it would be a good idea if you all made love but are rejected and subjected to screams of ''Whats wrong with you'' but fear not you have a gay bomb. You explode it on there faces and watch those biatches go at it. Then when the time is right you slip in and get you some gay bomb lesbo ass. God Bless America!
 

SinJester

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swallowing many swords, strangely shaped blades, or being distracted when swallowing, could cause injury.
No fvcking ****. Shouldn't these guys do something usefull? Like cure cancer?
 

Play the Game

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A Hetero-Bomb... would be way more useful but no they go with gay bomb.
Just imagine what will happen if this gets into wrong hands... like Hillary Clinton's.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

SinJester

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A gay bomb could literally destroy the human race. Even if that were not true that thing is the devil.
 

Nighthawk

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Relax.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ig_Nobel_Prize

The Ig Nobel Prizes are a parody of the Nobel Prizes and are given each year in early October — around the time the recipients of the genuine Nobel Prizes are announced — for ten achievements that "first make people laugh, and then make them think." Organized by the scientific humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), they are presented by a group that includes genuine Nobel Laureates at a ceremony at Harvard University's Sanders Theater.
The first Ig Nobels were awarded in 1991, at that time for discoveries "that cannot, or should not, be reproduced." Ten prizes are awarded each year in many categories, including the Nobel Prize categories of physics, chemistry, physiology/medicine, literature, and peace, but also other categories such as public health, engineering, biology, and interdisciplinary research. With the exception of three prizes in the first year (Administratium, Josiah Carberry, and Paul DeFanti), the Ig Nobel Prizes are for genuine achievements. (See List of Ig Nobel Prize winners)
The awards are sometimes veiled criticism, as in the two awards given for homeopathy research, prizes in "science education" to Kansas and Colorado state boards of education for their stance regarding the teaching of evolution, and the prize awarded to Social Text after the Sokal Affair. Most often, however, they draw attention to scientific articles that have some humorous or unexpected aspect. Examples range from the discovery that the presence of humans tends to sexually arouse ostriches, to the statement that black holes fulfill all the technical requirements to be the location of Hell, to research on the "five-second rule," a tongue-in-cheek belief that food dropped on the floor won't become contaminated if it is picked up within five seconds.
 
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