"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Gav's Guide to Motivation (includes help with studying)
- Thread starter gav
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I missed this before, but here's how to do it.
You need to pick out the essential key words in a piece of text, such as proper names and maybe any important verbs or adjectives. The fewer you can get away with the better.
What you should end up with is a list of keywords which you can then memorise using one of the systems mentioned in the original post.
Once you have these key words memorised, re-read the text a couple of times. What you should find is that your mind fills in the gaps between the key words by finding a logical link between them (speed reading works in a similar way).
As with everything, the more you practise the easier it gets.
But to me academic learning is a mastrubation in itself... they keep on seperating real world from theory and hide behind the books and the degrees so they can feel superior and look down on those dumbasses who didn't bother to learn... exacly how you described it gav. But let's think about it:
Will schooling make you smarter? NO schools are designed to encourage obedience and conformity! it might make you more informed but NOT SMARTER ... Will it make you rich? again no... it'll get you a job and a carrer but wealth is made by other characteristics than how many degrees you hold. True knowledge comes form childlike curiousity and the desire to explore the world, not from a sylabus which some guy thinks you should learn.
If you trully want to learn something you won't need to say things to motivate you or memorize dumb things... you'll have unexplainable energy within you and you will actually get pissed at a prof. if he isn't doing a good job.
But yeah all this is typed up when i'm supposed to be studying for a macro-econ exam that's tommrow....
School is just a system to get trough... so don't think you are special just because you made it, only means you took more crap than people who didn't go trough with it.
Teachers aren't even allowed to teach using the most effective methods - they have to do things a certain way. In fact, the education system is all about throwing information at students without teaching them how to effectively absorb it, record it or use it.
However, after some years of unemployment, I realised that you have to play the system in order to survive the system. I don't give a damn what some author thinks of another author, or why a certain poet uses rhyming couplets or any of that crap, but the English degree it will earn me will open more opportunities for me.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
MixMaxster
Don Juan
you've put into words the very thing I never could. When I was going out with my ex I tried to explain to her the exact same thing and she thought I was just lazy
. Not to say I'm not, but honestly lazyness is messing my life up so I'm aiming to stop that.But that's just it, it really doesn't mean much if you can't do anything with that piece of paper. My brother is a Doctor and is a pretty smart guy (hell he must be to pass medicine) and the funny thing though is that he's a Doctor and he's applying for a job as a janitor because he can't practice just yet. How ironic! A guy who is a certified Doctor working as a Janitor.
At least he can make an honest living out of his profession, my sister is a smart person and has an honours degree in English, but she's working at a book store and has been for about 6 years now. That right there goes to show you how things work, so that's why for me I want to not have to end up in that situation. It doesn't take a genius to realize that education won't get you everything.
As for this entire post, it's very very interesting stuff and has me wanting to check this stuff out.
I also hate the way academics use their status and qualifications to act superior. Yet you look at many students at prestigeous universities like Oxford and Cambridge and they seem almost retarded. Sure, they may be academic geniuses, but they have virtually no understanding of society or how to interact with people.
This, and the backwards methods of teaching, is something I feel strongly about, but it's probably best saved for a discussion in Anything Else.
CadillacCTS
Don Juan
Live by those words...
Most people don't realize that studying, working out, DJing a longterm pleasures, instead they assume there is no pleasure invovled.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
Say you have a wall and there are holes in it. You need to block all these holes because there is water on the other side. What do you do? I used to guess which holes were where and even though I couldn't really see them, I just stuck a piece of clay there randomly. Water got through. Now I plaster the whole fuggin wall with clay so nothing can get through me. Of course, most of that clay will be used in places that didn't need to be covered, but I learned that material and will forever know it.
That's all. I guess everyone has different takes on education.
Bronxtal112
Don Juan
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such as:
cars you want to drive
houses you want to get
family you want to raise.
dont get me wrong - you can do all of this with out an education, but I guarantee it will be 100X harder.
good post though...
Good, useful posts. Thanks, Gav.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Fenderules
Master Don Juan
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
And there are tons more who did.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
jariel, that stuff about memorising key words in text then rereading the stuff to fill in the gaps sounds sweet; gonna give that a bash later.
jariel, don_marko and mixmaxster, i totally agree that modern education does not necessarily correlate to increased intelligence; however i think there are some useful products besides mere certification, such as improved expression and perhaps people skills and the ability to work in a team (they're trying to work that into the education system nowadays - with such pathetic attempts; for instance with law, most courses must now contain some form of assessment where you work in a group). I do feel though, as jariel said, that you could improve your personal skills, such as intelligence and social proficiency, to a much greater extent outwith the education system. e.g. public speaking - what's better? - giving a speech to your class once a year because you have to or going out in the street any time you like with a tanoid screaming about the injustice of monkeys being persecuted because they were connected with the birth of HIV.
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as far as the whole idea of the post goes, i now think differently. It didn't need 2 or 3 thousands words to explain it. Simply put, you know what you need to do, now shut the fvck up and get on with it.
talking about it and thinking about all the benefits and side-effects are for women to talk about- they are masters at talking about stuff without doing anything useful. Men do things. Women (and pvssies in general) talk about doing things.
"You never really know the consequences until you act" - that quote is one of the few i've held onto from this site.
that whole memory thing is an interesting idea, so too is speed reading and is useful only to a certain extent. i now see it to be a way to sidetrack your studies; to postpone substantive work and take yourself behind the scenes and fiddle about with the idea of "how" you're going to study, instead of actually studying.
in first year law, i got straight c's - mediocre.
second year law, i have had nothing worse than a B so far and am still waiting on my degree exam results for the first semester, which i spent so long studying for. Even if the results are bad, i'll still be happy knowing that i put a champion's effort into them -"it's not getting to your destination that counts, but the path you take to get there."
e.g. we a had a take-home exam. paper got sent out at 12pm and we had to hand it back in at 12pm the next day. I spent 20 hours straight working on that thing. from 12pm to 8am the next morning. i nearly collapsed when i got to the office.
anyways, can't remember whose granddad said this, but "shut the fvck up and get on with it" is the best goddamn advice i've heard yet, and i live by it today.
keep up the djing, men
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.