gave waitress #, no call yet. Found on dating site... msg her??

[shock]

The other day I was attending a class for work. We were at lunch, and I was totally into our waitress. I really liked her style, very attractive. I was, however with my co-workers and officers (i'm a firefighter) and we were in uniform. Asking her out would have been a bad idea, so I wrote on a piece of paper and personally handed it to her with my tip. Said something like, "I'm sure you get this alot, but i would love to take you to dinner sometime, heres my number, blah blah" I realize this wasn't the best option, but I had to act and didnt have time to pull her aside, and couldn't risk getting in trouble. This was 4 days ago.

So last night, me and some buddies end up at the bar where she works. I was hoping to not see her, thinking it'd be awkward and sure enough we did. She had just gotten off, and was having a drink at the bar. My buddies kept telling me to go talk to her, but I couldn't muster the courage seeing how she basically rejected me by not calling. Prolly should have just done it, and said something ****y about not hearing from her. When I bought our second round, I think she caught a glimpse of me but not sure. Soon after I think she went home.

Well tonight, I was dabbling through some profiles on a local dating site. (haha I've atually pulled alot of girls on this, dont hate) And there she is on this site. I'm tempted to message her, but I think it's super stalker ish based on the last few days events. I dunno, wha you guys think? Consider it a loss, and move on or give it one more shot?? I dont even know what to say to her "I know you never called me, and I was a pus*y last nght for not talking to you, but maybe you wanna chat via email" haha, I dunno

 

[theunflushables]

Yeah, don't message her. That would be creepy.

 

[Igetit!]

Wow,man! That's amazing! Huh? Oh no,I wasn't talking about the situation with the waitress,I was commenting on the fact you have been a member here since 2001. I'm just kidding man. This is a tough one,because I can see your point of view about not wanting to seem stalkerish. I would have to say not to contact her.If you do, this will have been the 3rd contact from you, vs. 0 from her. She has your number,so she can contact you if she wants.
To be honest though,the way you started things off with her was a mistake.
I realize because of the situation and the way things were arranged, it was the best you could do at the time,however,it's really not the best way to start things off.

 

[Warrior74]

Leave her alone.


next time do some research on how to game hired guns. I'm not into pua game but it might give you some tips the next time.

http://www.pickup101.com/blog/what-the-f___-is-a-hired-gun/

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/11/gaming-hired-guns-by-grungey.html

 

[r0cky]

Its much better if you contact her in person. Next time you go to the bar talk to her and dont mention anything about her not calling you.
Just because she didn't call you it doesnt mean she doesn't like you.
She may be too shy or doesn't want to appear too needy and is waiting for YOU to call her.

 

[Mr. Me]

we were in uniform. Asking her out would have been a bad idea, so I wrote on a piece of paper and personally handed it to her with my tip.

You should not be thinking it's a bad idea. EVER. Doesn't matter if the Pope is standing right there or the Fire Commissioner. Just do it next time.

The bad idea was handing your number instead of asking for hers. Weak. The second bad idea was phrasing it with "I'm sure you get this alot, but I would love to take you to dinner sometime" because, you're right: she gets that ALL the time and you've just inferred that you're just another in a long line of similar lackeys. Weak. Gotta watch what you say, because words put thoughts into peoples' minds!

Know this truism: Most women will NOT call when given a guy's number anyway, even if they're interested.

Therefore, you have to take control of the situation by getting her number.

Then when you were both in the bar, she knew you were there. Even if she didn't see you, she knew you were there. And she also sensed your insecurity to approach her and that's a turn off. The moment you hesitate, you're lost! Gals pick up on that hesitation factor, so even if you hesitate but then approach, the damage is done.

That you'd now want to IM her is yet another way you're going around really approaching her. Next step is to try sock puppets to do your talking for you, right? J/K.

And again it's worth a mention, even though I know you're not serious: "I know you never called me, and I was a pus*y last night for not talking to you, but maybe you wanna chat via email" " is not the way you really want to come across, is it? You said that as a joke kind of, but it's because it's rooted in how you really see it, as being a pvssy, and that's how she sees it too.

Rejection is better than Regret. Isn't it?

Next gal, just please, approach. Make some offhand funny comment about something right there that's staring you both in the face, smile, then turn to walk away, but then look in her eyes, stand tall, and say to the gal, "I don't really have any time to chat, but, let's talk again. What's your number?" and then shut your mouth, smile, keep looking into her eyes, and wait until she speaks. Think Vince Vaughn. She'll either rush to hand you her number or give you any one of a million reasons not to.

And do that in your uniform.

You can't do any worse than you did with the waitress, right? So you have nothing to lose.

 

[noirsake]

Didn't read the post, but the title was enough. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! You will come across as a stalker and she won't have any interest in dating you at all.