Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Gave up summer full of fine chicks but I’m happy

captain55

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Currently got in a relationship. Girl is hot and treats me great. Im happy. Sex is great life is good. I was dating multiple women at the time when she asked me to be official, she gave me an ultimatum and I decided to give her a shot. So far so good. I don’t believe in cheating so I’ve been loyal but a little topic i wanted to talk about with you guys that applies to all of us.

How does a man keep the abundance mentality,when he has decided to be loyal and be monogamous? (Hence stop spinning plates)?)

when you have multiple hot women your dating multiple hot women this happens naturally. When your dating 4 bad bitches at the same time. Things are just so natural and smooth. You don’t care if a girl acts up or disrespects you, etc you just bounce to a new hot one.

I’m 28. My sexual market value is high. I’ve turned down a lot of sex with fine women to stay loyal to this chick. Just don’t wanna get burned and waste time. I was at the peak of my game. Blocked and ghosted a lot of hot chicks I could of ****ed to be monogamous with this one. At least 3 that were above an 8/10.

what I’m saying is nothing new I guess this is a chance we all have to take. But I also know that nobody is safe from anyone. Women **** around, steal, and do shady **** to men with high smv all the time it’s just less likely
 

TheNewStyle123

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Brother, I feel like I am reading a post from myself seeing this just now! haha. I literally just went through the same thing (I am even 28 as well hahaha). You're a better man than me though, my relationship only last about a month and a half before I ended it.

Same as you. The chick was loyal, hot, gave me sex and head whenever I wanted, cooked/cleaned, etc., but I felt like maybe I jumped the gun too soon coming out of my divorce. I thought I was ready, but I really wasn't. I ended up making out with a girl at a bar (I did not tell her this), but knew I couldn't keep lying to this chick and acting like everything was fine, especially when she was treating me so well.

Another large problem though is she is 33, and I'm sure she will be looking into having kids and a more serious relationship soon. I don't even know if I want kids or to get married at this point, or where I want to live, what I want to do next for work, etc....

I realized I need to make more mistakes and become more of an independent man first before entering another LTR. And to be honest, the lust for going after other women got to me too.

I hope it works out though man, especially if she is truly a great match for you.
 

Lookatu

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How does a man keep the abundance mentality,when he has decided to be loyal and be monogamous? (Hence stop spinning plates)?)

when you have multiple hot women your dating multiple hot women this happens naturally. When your dating 4 bad bitches at the same time. Things are just so natural and smooth. You don’t care if a girl acts up or disrespects you, etc you just bounce to a new hot one.

I’m 28. My sexual market value is high. I’ve turned down a lot of sex with fine women to stay loyal to this chick.
You've already answered it.

You know through experience that at any time, you can get several hot chicks. Having this confidence is what abundance is about. It's the state of mind that you're in to know you can always do better if this chick doesn't hold up her end of the bargain by being a great GF.

So by having this state of mind, you don't put up with $hit, you're able to maintain you're frame, you're able to hold your standards, etc.
 

Sam_J

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Currently got in a relationship. Girl is hot and treats me great. Im happy. Sex is great life is good. I was dating multiple women at the time when she asked me to be official, she gave me an ultimatum and I decided to give her a shot. So far so good. I don’t believe in cheating so I’ve been loyal but a little topic i wanted to talk about with you guys that applies to all of us.

How does a man keep the abundance mentality,when he has decided to be loyal and be monogamous? (Hence stop spinning plates)?)

when you have multiple hot women your dating multiple hot women this happens naturally. When your dating 4 bad bitches at the same time. Things are just so natural and smooth. You don’t care if a girl acts up or disrespects you, etc you just bounce to a new hot one.

I’m 28. My sexual market value is high. I’ve turned down a lot of sex with fine women to stay loyal to this chick. Just don’t wanna get burned and waste time. I was at the peak of my game. Blocked and ghosted a lot of hot chicks I could of ****ed to be monogamous with this one. At least 3 that were above an 8/10.

what I’m saying is nothing new I guess this is a chance we all have to take. But I also know that nobody is safe from anyone. Women **** around, steal, and do shady **** to men with high smv all the time it’s just less likely
Id say keep approaching women and flirting with them and trying to get numbers just to practice your game. If they want to go out with you then just cancel and say sorry I'm seeing someone else or something. That way you can stay on your game and know ur able to talk to girls. Some might think that's weird or not loyal but I think its totally fine if u know ur just doing it for practice.
 

Lookatu

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Id say keep approaching women and flirting with them and trying to get numbers just to practice your game. If they want to go out with you then just cancel and say sorry I'm seeing someone else or something.
This is what insecure guys do that have a lot of time on their hands. One of the reasons of being exclusive with someone is so you can save time on all this talking to girls bs and concentrate and allocate your time to more important things like making money, hobbies, etc.

Why would you wanna give out your time to some random ho's?

Like I said it's more a state of mind than action.
 

captain55

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This is what insecure guys do that have a lot of time on their hands. One of the reasons of being exclusive with someone is so you can save time on all this talking to girls bs and concentrate and allocate your time to more important things like making money, hobbies, etc.

Why would you wanna give out your time to some random ho's?

Like I said it's more a state of mind than action.
This was my thing. When you have one girl you vibe with you can focus on money. Dating multiple chicks was a blast but expensive and a lot of effort
 

Sam_J

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This is what insecure guys do that have a lot of time on their hands. One of the reasons of being exclusive with someone is so you can save time on all this talking to girls bs and concentrate and allocate your time to more important things like making money, hobbies, etc.

Why would you wanna give out your time to some random ho's?

Like I said it's more a state of mind than action.
For some people it is a hobby and is important. Look up Mike Mehlman. He said you gotta keep approaching women and treat it like going to the gym, or your skills and confidence will atrophy like your muscles. It's the #1 source of male confidence. He approaches a minimum of 100 women every single day. Some days 350-400. Not everyone has to go that hard. But should be at least trying to approach every day.
 

Serenity

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How does a man keep the abundance mentality,when he has decided to be loyal and be monogamous? (Hence stop spinning plates)?)
As you state here, abundance is a mentality. I have always strongly recommended basing confidence and all of those things to something internal rather than external. If you need to keep having multiple women constantly to keep confidence in your abundance then you have externalized that confidence in yourself, made it dependent upon something outside of yourself.

The internalized version of this is knowing you could walk out there today and get that rotation of women back, but not having to constantly do it to prove it to yourself.

I would argue that confidence is actually weaker if you rapidly lose your sense of abundance by not constantly proving it to yourself. To have confidence is to trust in oneself, arguably you can't have much trust in yourself if you need to create a ton of proof for yourself that a statement about yourself remains true.

I've been monogamous for 6 years and married almost 2. I know I could walk out the door tomorrow and get women if need be, I might even be better at it than I ever was before. I kept my wit sharp and learned a few general things that would correct some more subtle mistakes I have made before becoming exclusive. The relationship is great though, so I'm staying, but no matter how good it is the unexpected might strike and I want to be fully prepared for it no matter how unlikely. Besides, much of what goes into attracting women can be applied to gain benefits in other areas of life, so it's no problem staying well exercised in the social department if you choose to.
 

captain55

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You've already answered it.

You know through experience that at any time, you can get several hot chicks. Having this confidence is what abundance is about. It's the state of mind that you're in to know you can always do better if this chick doesn't hold up her end of the bargain by being a great GF.

So by having this state of mind, you don't put up with $hit, you're able to maintain you're frame, you're able to hold your standards, etc.
But we forget time brother. Sexual market value and your ability to attract hot young women gets harder and harder as you get older. That’s why we all have to make the best of our time. I chose to commit to this woman because I love her, I think she’s incredibly sexy and wouldn’t ever cheat on her. But I know if it came down to it and she left me I could get a higher status chick. Yes. I also made myself vulnerable. Yes. It’s the price anyone pays. Dating multiple hot bitches is great, you maintain a very masculine frame which is attractive to women in the initial stages of dating but it’s a lot of effort to game those women. Gets expensive dating 3-4 chicks etc .Remember the most attractive thing to a woman is an unavailable man. I have a pretty hot chick I rejected for this girl and she stalks the **** out of me.
 

Lookatu

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For some people it is a hobby and is important.
I will agree with this. It used to be a hobby for me too at one point. But at some time, you will outgrow this hobby once you've had your fair share of girls(if you are lucky) or come to your senses that women shouldn't be running your world and end up finding someone worthwhile.

It is generally agreed by all the OG's that only 5-10% of guys can remain true players their whole lives. For those that don't agree haven't lived or experienced life long enough.
 

Lookatu

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But we forget time brother. Sexual market value and your ability to attract hot young women gets harder and harder as you get older.
True to a certain point but guys can get away with it way longer than girls if they take care of themselves and also work on achieving greatness. I'm 49 and still can compete with guys in their early 30's for example. The difference is I chose to do stuff with my time wisely like building wealth and increasing my net worth instead of chasing random poon all those years. If you line up two guys that are both attractive but one has less life wisdom and fortune, who do you think the girl will pick?
 

xplt

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How does a man keep the abundance mentality,when he has decided to be loyal and be monogamous? (Hence stop spinning plates)?)
There are billions of women on this planet. If the relationship doesn't work out you know, you can find some new and hot ones, right?

Abundance does not come from the amount of girls you date in my opinion. More from your state of mind.

If you are in a miserable relationship, you break up and you can be happy on your own again. You win if you're yourself again, regardless if another woman is waiting right now or not.
 

Sam_J

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I will agree with this. It used to be a hobby for me too at one point. But at some time, you will outgrow this hobby once you've had your fair share of girls(if you are lucky) or come to your senses that women shouldn't be running your world and end up finding someone worthwhile.

It is generally agreed by all the OG's that only 5-10% of guys can remain true players their whole lives. For those that don't agree haven't lived or experienced life long enough.
Yeah you may be right, youre twice my age and way more experienced I'm sure, so I may end up coming to the same conclusion eventually.
 

deadmasterx

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How does a man keep the abundance mentality,when he has decided to be loyal and be monogamous? (Hence stop spinning plates)?)
The abundance mentality is about knowing that you deserve the best (if, of course, you are also doing your best) and not taking anything less than that. Briefly saying, the main thing about abundance mindset is not about having tons of women to be replacing whenever the one you're dating do something wrong, but to be able to stand up for yourself and not be taking anything less than you think you deserve.

You communicate, through your actions, that you will not tolerate her trying to mess around with your boundaries. That's all. The whole "uhh he can replace me with that other hot coworker of his" and anything like that is up to her female mind, it's not something you should be communicating. Girls are the ones who communicate replacing. Men are either together or apart.
 
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