"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Game playing girlfriend...

funnyguy1

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Started exclusively dating a girl in January. She was always one to contact first, both initiated plans, she said 'i love you' first.

Since about a month ago she contacts first less, saying she wanted me to contact first, which I did until she stopped replying, don't bother now. She always comes back and is not typical 'friend zone' conversation. Recently started talking to me about other guys, 1 in particular. While she is talking to other guys publicly on Facebook and liking profile pictures of them 'trying to look good', rarely talks to me. Has other problems which may be making her distant, but nothing to do with this bit I don't think.

It just not worth effort and going to withdraw myself while still replying if she contacts, but she always comes back, more than just a friendly conversation.

Trying to get me to show jealousy? Provoking a reaction? Craving attention off just any guy? Any ideas?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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funnyguy1

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Cheers well thats basically what I am doing. No contact...It is strange cos she was dead attentive and interested as lately as last weekend. Anyways whatever it is I ain't wasting my time.
 

Sandow

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What's her past like? Has she ever been in a serious relationship? A relationship longer than 3 months? Does she love attention? Boy crazy, always flirting? Those answers will tell you everything you need to know.
 

VladPatton

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Stop bothering and entertaining her attention whóring. Your power lies in your indifference at her attempts at messing with you. Go ghost and let her writhe and wonder WTF happened. Kill the Facebook thing as well.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Backwardsman

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yep, get off facebook, the more you see her liking other guys pictures and chatting to them etc the more it will play on your mind, "What you cant see, wont hurt you" - i learnt this a long time ago, i used to always go on fb checking on an ex and always became paranoid of what i saw - Simple, get rid of your account or block her so you cant see anything she is doing.

Also dont reply or make contact with her at all, she will be thinking, why isnt he interested in me anymore etc - dont give her your power, Be the man :)

When one door shuts, a million more open, there are plenty of women out there, you aint going to go the whole way with all of them you have relationships with.

i have had many relationships, at the time of breakups i thought the world was going to end etc, but i now realise that it doesnt, and that relationships are just experiences, learning curves for your next one, my first relationship i was totally possessive, insecure, jealous etc, i am now seeing someone for 3 months and i am totally the opposite, more assertive, in control and living my life, you can do the same :)
 

funnyguy1

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Thanks all decent input. Them questions, past is quite scattered and has had one or two poor experiences with guys previously, one relationship longer than 3 months. Also had a few life changing events that could affect judgement and thinking..Quite a flirty person (her words not mine from chatting a while back)..

Going 'dark' with my own contact and am making my mind up whether or not to reply when and if she does (already happened once after I started this thread). If she doesn't get in touch then I will just move on.

She is a pretty insecure person so more likely to play games, going 'dark' will work...It has in the past with her...
 

Kbomb

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funnyguy1 said:
Thanks all decent input. Them questions, past is quite scattered and has had one or two poor experiences with guys previously, one relationship longer than 3 months. Also had a few life changing events that could affect judgement and thinking..Quite a flirty person (her words not mine from chatting a while back)..

Going 'dark' with my own contact and am making my mind up whether or not to reply when and if she does (already happened once after I started this thread). If she doesn't get in touch then I will just move on.

She is a pretty insecure person so more likely to play games, going 'dark' will work...It has in the past with her...
do not reply, move on.
 

funnyguy1

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Kbomb said:
do not reply, move on.
In normal situation I would agree with you. However with a few current 'issues' she is dealing with and her past (both in relationships and within unrelated experiences), it could be nothing...If I and other people on here are wrong, I would basically be abandoning her as she is experiencing these problems...

Stopping contacting first is one thing I will do..If she is not interested, neither am I, and she won't contact herself. I myself am losing interest slightly anyway due to her current behaviour so delayed replies or non whatsoever from time to time will inevitably happen from my side..

As I said, in the past when I have been one to contact first and the message hasn't got through (happened on both sides), has got herself worried and given any power she held away anyways...
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Don't go NC to get her attention back.

Go NC to move on and find another girl who you connect with in a more meaningful way. Your relationship with this girl sounds lame and pathetic.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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funnyguy1

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TillTheEndOfTime said:
Don't go NC to get her attention back.

Go NC to move on and find another girl who you connect with in a more meaningful way. Your relationship with this girl sounds lame and pathetic.
Bit harsh seen as though you have never met either of us. No contact is basically the only way I am going to be able to cover all of my bases, it is a way of moving on, a way of keeping the power on my side of the relationship (as people have said earlier in this thread), a way of not getting dragged into a petty discussion about her lack of contact, and a way of knowing whether or not she has lost interest.

Whichever one of these is true, no contact will work with all of them..Did you not read my bit about her problems past and present? That is all fact and based upon what she has told me way before this all kicked off...She could just be going through a hard time at the moment and need space, I'm just not sure, therefore need to keep my options open...
 

Die Hard

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I just read the thread title... Here's my response:


NEXT!!
 
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