Game over or still on?

[bob2007]

To recap the last episode: Friday, date with ivy league girl .
great conversation all sorts of topics, talked about her family, other stuff, conversation a flowing for 2.5 hours
crappy restaurant (missed our reservations)
end the date with a hug
texted her later on the night to see if she got home safe
she replies, yep got home, going to sleep now, have a good night!

I called 3 days later, made small talk. She said shes still at work at 8.30 p.m. (works at investment bank 60 hour weeks)
So I got to the point, "I ad a great time, we should hang out again"
Shes like ya, but I'm going to be busy with work until the new years.
I end with, ok, just give me a call when you're free.

(she is going to cali for a week or 2 during Christmas)

At this point I donno if its an excuse or truth or what.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You were vague, so she was vague.

First of all, why were you going on a "date" for dinner at a restaurant?

What type of feedback (verbal and non-verbal) did you get from her during your 2.5 hour date?

What kind of vibe? Was it a "just friends/friendly" or "romantic/sexual" vibe?

How much can you talk about for 2.5 before/without escalating it to a little KINO? You know, holding her hand, checking out her fingers, etc. just to get the touching going, that way you could test her temperature for you, and perhaps kiss her, so there was no doubt that there was interest.

When you call a broad to ask her out, don't be vague. Call with a plan. If you don't have a plan, don't call until you do. If you do, don't reveal it until you want to, but communicate there is a specific time/event you want to get together for, and make the offer/suggestion. That way, she has to give you a direct answer, unlike your girl did after you suggested "we should hang out again."

If they are interested, and you are direct, they will always counter offer it they are not able to do it on the suggested day.

Looks like she's was trying to be nice, and get you to take the hint that she wasn't interested.

"Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn". You never loose unless you don't learn anything from an experience.

 

[Smartone84]

busy til new years? pffffffff

said it before about a million times and i'll say it once more..
If a girl is interested, she will MAKE TIME. End of story.

 

[bob2007]

She's not out of my league. I work for an investment bank, I make less at my job, but def more from my side stuff.

The conversation was flowing, it was kinda deep at times, she talked about her relationship with her younger sister, growing up in NY, she was very animated. No kino available as we were across the table. She insisted on paying half the bill.

Everyone says drinks is best, but it was kinda late friday, unfortunate the other place was more appropriate for drinks, we just ended up going around the corner to japanese restaurant (that had crappy food).

I said hang out again, just to guage interest level. I expected a yes or no answer. I had a place and time to go to, but i felt it better to see if she was even interested. If I'm presumptuous with such a big plan and details i think it woulnd't be as good. I definetly agree to the statement that She will make time. Instinctively, I also agree that I should not contact her.

However, other people have told me to just text her for Christmas or New Years just to stay in touch and try ot be funnyand engaging. That's really the question at this point.

 

[brian123]

Listen man, in the past 4 weeks I've been working 50 hrs/week, doing 40hrs week working on my PhD, going to the gym 10hrs/week, done 3 weddings (one where I was best man) traveled home 3 hrs away twice, gone clear across the country for a week etc.... Well you get the idea.

I've made time for broads that wanted to hang out with me in that time. I doubt this chick is too busy to cut away 30 min of her time to hang out with over the next month.

I'd leave it to her to contact you again. If she likes you, she will.

There have been chicks I've legitimately been too busy to see, but I will always schedule another time if I really like them.

 

[MisterMcGee]

Brian, it's different for girls. When they cut time out for a guy, they cut more than the alotted time for the date. They cut a slice of their brain out for this dude temporarily to deal with the drama that is to ensue in her mind.

To bob, you said "I said hang out again, just to guage interest level."

See, I really understand where you're coming from, but playing it slow at such an early stage for the sake of 'gauging her interest level' isn't the best thing to do. If you take it slow, you should take it slow cause you're flirting with her, teasing her, and qualifying her. It's a better mindset, trust me.

 

[Igetit!]

The conversation was flowing, it was kinda deep at times, she talked about her relationship with her younger sister, growing up in NY, she was very animated.

It's good that the conversation was flowing,but YOU should have been the one directing it into fun,intriguing topics. This was a first date,so there shouldn't have been any "deep" conversations going on. That was a mistake. No serious,deep topics discussed on a first date,only light hearted,exciting talk.

I said hang out again, just to guage interest level.

Instead of saying this at the end of the date,I would have just given her a hug,and told her something like,"Alright,I guess I'll talk to you later". Period. I wouldn't have said a single word more. This way she'd be the one wondering whether or not you liked her,or if you were interested in having a second date with her.

However, other people have told me to just text her for Christmas or New Years just to stay in touch and try ot be funnyand engaging. That's really the question at this point.

I guess you can do this if you want,but I think your interest in her is already apparent to her. She doesn't have to wonder if you like her or not like you're doing with her right now.
In fact,from what I can tell,she seems to be in control of things,I mean,she already told you what her schedule is going to be for the rest of the year, meaning if you want to see her again,you'll have to do it when it's convenience for her. Why weren't you the one telling her what your schedule was going to be,and when you'd be available if she wanted a second date?

Personally,I'd go to at least a week after New Year's before calling her again.

 

[bob2007]

Well... as it turns out she called me last night late and just chatted a bit. She's like O i just felt like calling you, we didn't get a chance to talk much yesterday.

I guess the game's still on.