Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Game is for women

SmoothSmooth

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I am currently dating the hottest women in my life. I’ve gone from dating to 7s to 9s in a few weeks and this what I’ve figured.

Mind games are played by women at the start in order to determine your ‘thristiness’ and emotional stability

Men: do not play games. Do not exaggerate your response times, do not attempt to be overly flirty/witty, do not turn it into a game of ‘who can appear more aloof’, in fact do not appear to ‘try’ anything

PUA’s try to win the game by learning female tricks and then mimicking them or competing with them. This doesn’t work on 8s and 9s. Those girls are more impressed by your non chalantnesss

you win the game by not playing the game at all and maintaining calm a masculine frame. Just be direct, keep your text responses reasonable (not too fast and not too slow), be direct (opening message: ‘hey emily what’s up’), be your regular self and use slang like you do around men. Do not romanticise her, treat her like a regular person where u don’t give her words or presence any more gravitas than it deserves, do not be entertaining. Try to build a logical conversation based around ‘Vibing’ - do not ‘try to raise attraction’ or ‘build rapport’ with your texts, just try to maintain a ‘positive vibe’ with low effort


Beyond social status, true calmness and emotional stability/unreactivness around hot women is the only real ‘game’ which can increase your smv and get them chasing u. it’s looking at her like a regular person and having social behaviour which shows ur the dominant one

what are women attracted to?
Women are attracted to MEN. IE older (28-45), professional, high status individuals with good social intelligence and a relaxed sense of control about them
Dressing professionally/expensive will get you instant respect from women - classically masculine brands like Hugo boss, Ralph Lauren etc

if u struggle with women it’s probably because u lack dominance over other men (eg financially or physically etc) and have a non dominant career - if u were a store manager or dentist you would have much less trouble attracting women. U do not associate or have the respect of other high social status men (eg harvard graduates, bankers, artists etc)
U need to build your social status before approaching the 8s and 9s. Then u won’t need this forum or ‘game’
 
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spred

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Much truth in this. All the hot / successful women I met did not play games and were pleased when I was direct. When high interest exists, there is no consequence if you text too much or too little, too fast or too slow. Also women who know they have high value try to be friendly and open in order to weed out the men who deploy the standard battery of 1000 tricks to raise interest/seduce them.
On the contrary, all the low quality/ low interest women play the most games.
 

SmoothSmooth

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As in I’ve spent the last 10 years building social skills and learning how to be cool, how to dress, building status etc
But what’s changed over the last 3 weeks is I’ve stopped all ‘game’ and all flirting (beyond a basic compliment to break the ice and set the tone).
the only ‘game’ I use is being smooth (ie not saying goofy/corny things); having a deep smooth voice, good body language/aura, being confident and slowly building up physical escalation.
All that PUA nonsense is what was hindering my results before. 8+ women know what they want and what they like and will make it obvious if they like you. You just need to act like it’s not a big deal, like it’s something ur used to and DONT MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT THE FACT SHES CHOOSING U. trying to manipulate, or be particularly exciting etc or be anything other than in the moment is going to mess up the vibe. If she likes u, her attention isn’t something u need to work for.

Tykwondoe ‘simp or pimp’ series on YouTube is great for learning how to conduct convos with women

PUA game is not something masculine men do around women. Ur vibe needs to be low effort

alot of the red pill stuff like ‘never give validation’ ‘never like her pic’ is also going to mess u up with hot women. U just need to keep a good rapport going. If she likes your pics, it’s not a simp move to like hers back. If u want to create comfort as a complete stranger, it’s socially normal to give a compliment on her style or whatever. The difference is the intensity and intention behind ur action and how socially intelligent you come across
if a girl likes u or finds u interesting/shows interest, ur job is to just talk to her like you’d talk to a male friend. Stop romanticising her

a lot of seduction advice is just about constantly trying to convey value etc that u come across doing the complete opposite and lacking spontaneity/indifference

if she likes u it’s not about ur game. It’s about your perceived smv relative to hers and your vibe
 
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darksprezzatura

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I am currently dating the hottest women in my life. I’ve gone from dating to 7s to 9s in a few weeks and this what I’ve figured.

Mind games are played by women at the start in order to determine your ‘thristiness’ and emotional stability

Men: do not play games. Do not exaggerate your response times, do not attempt to be overly flirty/witty, do not turn it into a game of ‘who can appear more aloof’, in fact do not appear to ‘try’ anything

PUA’s try to win the game by learning female tricks and then mimicking them or competing with them. This doesn’t work on 8s and 9s. Those girls are more impressed by your non chalantnesss

you win the game by not playing the game at all and maintaining calm a masculine frame. Just be direct, keep your text responses reasonable (not too fast and not too slow), be direct (opening message: ‘hey emily what’s up’), be your regular self and use slang like you do around men. Do not romanticise her, treat her like a regular person where u don’t give her words or presence any more gravitas than it deserves, do not be entertaining. Try to build a logical conversation based around ‘Vibing’ - do not ‘try to raise attraction’ or ‘build rapport’ with your texts, just try to maintain a ‘positive vibe’ with low effort


Beyond social status, true calmness and emotional stability/unreactivness around hot women is the only real ‘game’ which can increase your smv and get them chasing u. it’s looking at her like a regular person and having social behaviour which shows ur the dominant one

what are women attracted to?
Women are attracted to MEN. IE older (28-45), professional, high status individuals with good social intelligence and a relaxed sense of control about them
Dressing professionally/expensive will get you instant respect from women - classically masculine brands like Hugo boss, Ralph Lauren etc

if u struggle with women it’s probably because u lack dominance over other men (eg financially or physically etc) and have a non dominant career - if u were a store manager or dentist you would have much less trouble attracting women. U do not associate or have the respect of other high social status men (eg harvard graduates, bankers, artists etc)
U need to build your social status before approaching the 8s and 9s. Then u won’t need this forum or ‘game’
As in I’ve spent the last 10 years building social skills and learning how to be cool, how to dress, building status etc
But what’s changed over the last 3 weeks is I’ve stopped all ‘game’ and all flirting (beyond a basic compliment to break the ice and set the tone).
the only ‘game’ I use is being smooth (ie not saying goofy/corny things); having a deep smooth voice, good body language/aura, being confident and slowly building up physical escalation.
All that PUA nonsense is what was hindering my results before. 8+ women know what they want and what they like and will make it obvious if they like you. You just need to act like it’s not a big deal, like it’s something ur used to and DONT MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT THE FACT SHES CHOOSING U. trying to manipulate, or be particularly exciting etc or be anything other than in the moment is going to mess up the vibe. If she likes u, her attention isn’t something u need to work for.

Tykwondoe ‘simp or pimp’ series on YouTube is great for learning how to conduct convos with women

PUA game is not something masculine men do around women. Ur vibe needs to be low effort

alot of the red pill stuff like ‘never give validation’ ‘never like her pic’ is also going to mess u up with hot women. U just need to keep a good rapport going. If she likes your pics, it’s not a simp move to like hers back. If u want to create comfort as a complete stranger, it’s socially normal to give a compliment on her style or whatever. The difference is the intensity and intention behind ur action and how socially intelligent you come across
if a girl likes u or finds u interesting/shows interest, ur job is to just talk to her like you’d talk to a male friend. Stop romanticising her

a lot of seduction advice is just about constantly trying to convey value etc that u come across doing the complete opposite and lacking spontaneity/indifference

if she likes u it’s not about ur game. It’s about your perceived smv relative to hers and your vibe
Great post @SmoothSmooth.
All these theatrics and routines use up a lot of energy.

Do men on a mission, say climbing a mountain have time for such trivialities?

Are CEOs of fortune 500s, learning stupid "comebacks" to appear cool?

Are the best artists in world, obsessed with their craft expending hours everyday on how to get laid?

Granted folks might not be any of the above, but having a mindset of a king has a self fulfilling prophecy and it reflects in our body language and conversation.

Keeping ROI high is key.

I liked the bit where you talked about indifference.

As @DEEZEDBRAH says step up or step aside, keep things clear, direct and go for what you want.

I'm here moving towards my goals in life. Keeping my health, wealth and skills in check so I can have the freedom I want

Wish more folks post useful stuff like this on the boards.
 

Zimbabwe

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So let me get this straight, you date a high interest girl for the first time and your already ready to denounce game?
 

TitusRamsies

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ironically "nonchalantness" is a form of game. Said "nonchalantness" is basically what women try to do but comes naturally from a guy with value. I would argue that the hotter the chick the tighter one's game should be. At the end of the day it's all semantics.
 
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SmoothSmooth

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Great post @SmoothSmooth.
All these theatrics and routines use up a lot of energy.

Do men on a mission, say climbing a mountain have time for such trivialities?

Are CEOs of fortune 500s, learning stupid "comebacks" to appear cool?

Are the best artists in world, obsessed with their craft expending hours everyday on how to get laid?

Granted folks might not be any of the above, but having a mindset of a king has a self fulfilling prophecy and it reflects in our body language and conversation.

Keeping ROI high is key.

I liked the bit where you talked about indifference.

As @DEEZEDBRAH says step up or step aside, keep things clear, direct and go for what you want.

I'm here moving towards my goals in life. Keeping my health, wealth and skills in check so I can have the freedom I want

Wish more folks post useful stuff like this on the boards.
exactly. attractive feminine women know what it ‘fees like’ to date those kind of guys because that’s who theyve previously dated. And trust me those dudes weren’t using comebacks or pua tactics or focused on tactics to seduce her.

what I’ve noticed is they the less I give in the way of seduction, the more these women give me feminine energy.
if ur actively ‘tryingM to seduce her, she’s going to **** test u, be in her masculine defensive frame.
If ur just normal and chill she’s going to be curious and feel like she has to put in more effort to drive the convo etc. and that’s the dynamic you want. She should be the one asking u questions, trying to seduce u etc I literally get very little sh*t tests now!!!! The most I get might be a late response from her at the start

I’ve dated many high interest women before, but what’s changed is now I’m having great results with the 8+ caliber women Because I text them in a totally normal, non seductive tone. Trying to be seductive with them ‘feels’ low value to them; ur pedestalizing them for their looks. The key is being able to just vibe/be in the moment with no extra motive

Ofc ur real world smv has to be appealing to them to get a chance

the ideal masculine - feminine dynamic is her injecting emotion and energy into the convo whilst you remain laid back, logical and indifferent.
Not the PUA dynamic of the man being energetic, fun etc and the girl just sh*t testing his masculinity to infinity. PUA is for a) low smv guys (most these pua types don’t have careers) b) men who grew up without fathers and don’t have a masculine figure

If you have to overthink your reply or ‘try’ to make it more interesting u basically convey fear and reveal ur lower smv. She is not ur wife, just a random girl, so why are you spending so much time trying to think of funny and interesting things to say?
 
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kavi

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I think it could be that women are a bit more chill these days than 10 years ago. Women really have lost a lot in the dating market and so I think now they are abit more chill and all those **** tests and games and likely a lot less, its like if they meet a cool guy they are more appreciative of the convo and connection.

Yesterday I went speed dating here in London, 23-35 age range. Havent got my matches back yet but I think it went really well for me, good convos with every girl I spoke other than 1 or 2 where the girl was just low energy.

I played a game with some of these girls "I say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind"
Me: "Dating". Them "Difficult" "Complicated"
Me "Relationships". Them "Breakup" etc

Basically I played this game with a few girls the words being "Dating" and "Relationship" and all the girls I asked, maybe 4, all gave somewhat negative answers, no one said anything positive or confident. They know its **** out there these days.
 

metalwater

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nice post.

@Pan87 what do you think of this? you commented that things are getting more difficult, maybe this from @SmoothSmooth can help.
 

SmoothSmooth

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alot of guys on here don’t realise that men who like women’s ig pictures, will have their pictures liked in return by those women. It’s a tit-for-tat exchange; many college guys have 200-400 likes on their Instagram pictures just like the girls.

some of you live in a basement and don’t understand how real life male-female dynamics occur, building these crazy theories like ‘woman have hundreds of simps giving them validation’ and that ‘you should never just be normal around women’ and think women select men on purely hypergamous/evolutionary biology metrics etc

80% of it is just being chill and acting non-sexual around hot women. The rest is having a good job, good body, confident body language, good clothing style/haircut, taking care of your skin and odour.

And that’s it. Guys who do the above don’t struggle for options and have never ‘worked for sex’…it just happens. I know guys that bang 4 girls month and they are average height and average job, but great vibe and good style/body/swagger and know how to build friendships/comfort with women

People write paragraphs of ‘attraction’ theory to compensate for lack of basic fundamentals. The truth is you are most likely just giving an awkward ‘i want something from u’ vibe around women you find sexy. Attraction is just something which is just spontaneously felt, not something you can hypnotize people into by using certain phrases, pick up lines and wit. Right place, right time, right vibe. Sometimes she wants u immediately and sometimes it takes months for a girl to reach out. Just remain calm.

some of you are paralysed by fear of ending up in the Friendzone or being ‘seen as beta’…bruh that doesn’t happen between MEN and women. It happened in school and college. But if you are a man with income, a good body and masculine characteristics then you are on some level attractive to most women. As long as you know basic theories eg carry yourself as a prize, don’t pedestalize, don’t be too available - you will never end up in a ‘friendzone’…women have better things to do than be ‘friends’ with a fully grown man who isn’t doing anything for them. Just be yourself and be chill - she will either like you or not.

In summary - attractive women know exactly what they want and find attractive.
Your job is to just be completely normal, in the moment and act chill if she likes you. Don’t look like u care about sex. Just make small talk and keep a good rapport, the rest will happen if she wants it to. Talk about your life and highlight good things about yourself eg accomplishments, things you own etc but make it seem natural. Let her put it all together and figure out how much she wants u

To a sexy woman, you stand out by being unbothered by her interest in you and not employing any ‘techniques’ or attempts to impress or seduce her - which is what most guys do subconsciously - she’s seen it all before. The more normal you appear (from your body language to conversation:texting), the more you stand out from the crowd.. normal means not too much and not too little…a fine balance

Stop developing theories based on swipe apps/pickup artists and actually go outside
 
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SmoothSmooth

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Just because you learnt a few seduction tips does not mean basics things like genuine connection, similar interests/values, and appearing normal and approachable go out of the window…

Y’all too focused on impregnating her rather than creating a little vibe/story between the two of you…something she can’t find on the internet

small talk small talk small talk is the key

do it in a relaxed way around the hotties whilst maintaining masculine body language. Most guys come across to anxious or eager or awkward

Men who struggle with small talk, always struggle with women and go on the internet for ‘attraction advice’

women are the more socially perceptive sex.

most men struggle acting in a socially normal way around attractive women. If you can, you stand out. Game is not socially normal, it is a weak attempt at appearing socially normal, almost a parody of being confident. Game is what girls use to look more confident.

‘Never like her picture bro’ ‘never give her attention bro’ confident men don’t think like this. If she likes you and u have a vibe between the two of u, then - for example - liking an occasional picture will make her wonder ‘why does he like my pic, does he like me? Does he mean it?’ as opposed to ‘he is a beta male simp’…

seduction is what women worry about, not men.
Women seduce men…whilst men build and conquer
U don’t need advice on ‘how to act like an alpha male’ when you ARE an alpha male and women can sense your life success and confidence
 
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darksprezzatura

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Just because you learnt a few seduction tips does not mean basics things like genuine connection, similar interests/values, and appearing normal and approachable go out of the window…

Y’all too focused on impregnating her rather than creating a little vibe/story between the two of you…something she can’t find on the internet

small talk small talk small talk is the key

do it in a relaxed way around the hotties whilst maintaining masculine body language. Most guys come across to anxious or eager or awkward

Men who struggle with small talk, always struggle with women and go on the internet for ‘attraction advice’

women are the more socially perceptive sex.

most men struggle acting in a socially normal way around attractive women. If you can, you stand out. Game is not socially normal, it is a weak attempt at appearing socially normal, almost a parody of being confident. Game is what girls use to look more confident.

‘Never like her picture bro’ ‘never give her attention bro’ confident men don’t think like this. If she likes you and u have a vibe between the two of u, then - for example - liking an occasional picture will make her wonder ‘why does he like my pic, does he like me? Does he mean it?’ as opposed to ‘he is a beta male simp’…

seduction is what women worry about, not men.
Women seduce men…whilst men build and conquer
U don’t need advice on ‘how to act like an alpha male’ when you ARE an alpha male and women can sense your life success and confidence
Bump
 

SmoothSmooth

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Can you explain how you go from being non-sexual to escalating?
This is very simple, I will walk u through the entire process

At the start when ur in the texting phase keep things very nonchalant and relaxed, as if ur texting a guy friend that you just met. Little bit of small talk, using few words and rarely sending more than 2 texts in a row. Never ever ever send a double text at any point, if she doesn’t reply then leave it. Do not block or unfollow her; sometimes they come back weeks later because they are testing to see if ur a creep or they are in the talking phase with someone else. The fact u didn’t double text or react will be a massive turn on and put you ahead of other guys.

Ask her out to hangout after a bit of back and forth, if she agrees this is a good sign and the first step of escalation. You’ve given her no ‘entertainment’ and been non chalant so her accepting your date request indicates high interest (plus ideally she would have been exchanging details about herself and asking u simple questions in the meantime)

once on the date, do the things I mentioned in the previous posts. By being very calm, having strong eye contact, occasional periods of silence, allowing her to ask you questions, not overtly flirting, being in the moment/spontaneous in the convo, letting it flow etc - in the back of her mind the whole she’s gonna be thinking ‘this guy must get laid by girls as hot as me ALL THE TIME…he is so calm and his body language is so confident/unnervous’. Don’t allow her to dominate you in the convo ie make sure u speak about yourself and your goals and things you’ve accomplished and things/topics that interest you etc if she’s willing to allow you to do this, she must have interest in you. Remember 80% of being seductive is just your body language, eye contact, vocal tone And how you’re dressed (ideally dress in masculine smart clothing eg Hugo boss, Ralph Lauren or at least be smart casual)

now…here’s where the social intelligence comes in…after 45 mins ask yourself ‘is this date going well?’. Signs it’s going well - how she’s dressed (is she showing skin/putting effort/dressed sexy = GOOD SIGN…versus she is dressed causal, low effort, jeans and H&M top = low interest)…other signs - did she try to prove herself to you (good sign, she wants to impress you by telling u about her holidays, books she’s read, people she knows, things she’s done etc) - other good sign - she gives you compliments, she laughs/is bubbly/shows interest when you speak about yourself.
If it is going well; try to cut the date short (eg after 45 mins - 1 hr) and invite her back to your place. Do it in a way which gives her ‘plausible deniability’ ie don’t just say ‘let’s go back to mine”…try and link it to the convo you had eg ‘let’s go back to mine so I can show you my guitar collection’ … she knows exactly what it’s gonna lead to by your body language and the subtext but it’s important she doesn’t feel like a s*ut when you ask her.
if she agrees then you can think about trying to lead towards physical escalation.
Most guys are too focused on ‘making things happen’ during the date that it comes across as too eager.
Once she’s back at yours it makes sense to try to escalate now … as she has invested time into coming back to yours and it shows trust… obviously just read her and take it slow from verbal teasing -> light touching - foreplay/neck kissing etc don’t make any sudden moves and be able to switch from general small talk to flirting and back and forth… sometimes even pull back yourself when things are getting heated: which will turn her on more…obviously don’t do anything she isn’t comfortable with…just go at her pace and be cool/non chalant at all times. The fact she’s back at your place at the first date means things are going well, if she doesn’t want to get physical then you’ve usually got a good chance she’ll be interested on the next date after a bit more trust is built

If she declines going back to yours or If the date isn’t going well - then just end it, wish her well and wait for her to reach out for a second date if she wants to and repeat process.

if the date went well but she declined coming back to yours, it’s not a bad sign, she may need more trust. So end the date on a good note but again, wait for her to text first before you repeat process- for the second date you could propose dinner at yours

see how natural and straightforward it is?

all of the ‘how do I do this’ or ‘how do I do that’ comes from men being too eager and skipping steps…wanting to escalate on a date before she’s at your place…what’s the point? Are you gonna bang in the middle of a bar? It’s just an approval seeking attempt to ‘see if she likes you yet’ and kills any suspense

ur vibe should be that ‘f*cking isn’t a big deal’, it isn’t ‘the main event’…it’s just something that cool / successful members of the opposite sex do when they get to know each other and hang out, just another thing that adds to the vibe of the night
 
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Zimbabwe

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alot of guys on here don’t realise that men who like women’s ig pictures, will have their pictures liked in return by those women. It’s a tit-for-tat exchange; many college guys have 200-400 likes on their Instagram pictures just like the girls.

some of you live in a basement and don’t understand how real life male-female dynamics occur, building these crazy theories like ‘woman have hundreds of simps giving them validation’ and that ‘you should never just be normal around women’ and think women select men on purely hypergamous/evolutionary biology metrics etc

80% of it is just being chill and acting non-sexual around hot women. The rest is having a good job, good body, confident body language, good clothing style/haircut, taking care of your skin and odour.

And that’s it. Guys who do the above don’t struggle for options and have never ‘worked for sex’…it just happens. I know guys that bang 4 girls month and they are average height and average job, but great vibe and good style/body/swagger and know how to build friendships/comfort with women

People write paragraphs of ‘attraction’ theory to compensate for lack of basic fundamentals. The truth is you are most likely just giving an awkward ‘i want something from u’ vibe around women you find sexy. Attraction is just something which is just spontaneously felt, not something you can hypnotize people into by using certain phrases, pick up lines and wit. Right place, right time, right vibe. Sometimes she wants u immediately and sometimes it takes months for a girl to reach out. Just remain calm.

some of you are paralysed by fear of ending up in the Friendzone or being ‘seen as beta’…bruh that doesn’t happen between MEN and women. It happened in school and college. But if you are a man with income, a good body and masculine characteristics then you are on some level attractive to most women. As long as you know basic theories eg carry yourself as a prize, don’t pedestalize, don’t be too available - you will never end up in a ‘friendzone’…women have better things to do than be ‘friends’ with a fully grown man who isn’t doing anything for them. Just be yourself and be chill - she will either like you or not.

In summary - attractive women know exactly what they want and find attractive.
Your job is to just be completely normal, in the moment and act chill if she likes you. Don’t look like u care about sex. Just make small talk and keep a good rapport, the rest will happen if she wants it to. Talk about your life and highlight good things about yourself eg accomplishments, things you own etc but make it seem natural. Let her put it all together and figure out how much she wants u

To a sexy woman, you stand out by being unbothered by her interest in you and not employing any ‘techniques’ or attempts to impress or seduce her - which is what most guys do subconsciously - she’s seen it all before. The more normal you appear (from your body language to conversation:texting), the more you stand out from the crowd.. normal means not too much and not too little…a fine balance

Stop developing theories based on swipe apps/pickup artists and actually go outside
A few weeks ago you gave us advice on Game, and now you are telling us to disregard game?
 

SmoothSmooth

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A few weeks ago you gave us advice on Game, and now you are telling us to disregard game?
I met a few guys that changed my life and applied what they taught and it lead to even better results…
I was getting good results before but like I said, I’ve gone from 7s to 8s+ in a matter of weeks
Plus much of what I said before still applies re body language etc
 

Barrister

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OP,

My opinion is you are conflating "game" with mind-games. The two are not the same. The former is understanding how women tick and playing upon that to maximize your own attractiveness to them. Boldness, directness, confidence, etc. That is "game."

Waiting to respond back for the sake of doing so is an example of a mind game. That isn't "game" in the sense of how men should operate. I don't disagree with some of what you state, but overall this idea that "game" has no place in getting women is incorrect.
 
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