Game: Inherited or Learned?

[LostAndConfused]

Since my time here, I've drastically increased my game, my confidence has boosted, I seem alot more comfortable talking to women and very rarely get those awkward moments anymore, and once I get good at kino my game will be pretty good! (hopefully)

Among all of my friends, most are terrible at talking to and acting around women. Of course they are social so they don't get into awkward silences, but they always get in the friend zone. But then, I have some friends who are naturals.

So I've been wondering, are you born with the don juan skill, or do you parents/others teach it? My parents of course failed to do such a task for me

 

[DJ in Progress]

my parents definately taught me nothing. i'll say one thing though, once i become a don juan, get married and have a kid, and if its a boy i'll be teaching him all i can. i wish i had some guidance, now its all up to me, but i will suceed.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I think it can come from either. Some people are just born with this dominant alpha trait. Others learn it generally from their father.

Unfortunately, most of us in our generation are growing up without prominent father figures in our lives to lay the groundwork for our transition into manhood which results in a lot more AFCs.

"We're a generation of men raised by women." - Tyler Durden

 

[Drum&Bass]

Haven't any of you learned anything THERE IS NO REASON TO EVER GET MARRIED !! and everything you will ever do in life IS LEARNED !!

 

[AlexTheGreat]

I agree with D&B, everything you do is learned. And by that I don't mean verbal life lessons ala "If you steal you will be sent to jail". No, I mean experience. You learn from experience. Those naturals are probably naturals because in their youths, they saw their parents act some way, or they had to act a certain way to grow up. Same as a kid will grow up aggressive if he had a tumultuous childhood, a kid will grow up confident if during his youth he needed to use his balls and his manhood.

 

[Maxtro]

The desire to get women is natural, how to do it is learned. How you were raised and your childhood can affect if you will have any game when you are older. If a kid has low self-confidence it should be corrected right away as that is the most important factor in "game."

 

[comic_relief]

I will say it right now because I don't think anyone else will tell you guys.

It is neither.

It is all about circumstance and what you are given.

- My parents didn't teach it to me and most parents won't ever teach their kids all the DJ tactics (besides what parent wants to teach their kid how to get laid?).
- My church always told me that God will make me the perfect one. That didn't help.
- My school didn't teach it to me. They want everyone to think like everyone else and just be obedient (enemies of the DJ and successful person).
- My friends didn't teach it to me (although this is different other people because different people = different experiences).
- The internet? Nah, the internet didn't teach me anything. 99% of advice on the websites that deal with women is complete bullsh!t.

The thing that taught me? My own dang research, which led me here incidently and I was only trying to get my oneitis to go out with me. Guess that never happened.

comic_relief

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Sounds like the philosophical debate of nature vs nurture. I believe everyone starts off with a Tabula rasa, nor blank slate and it depends almost entirely on your surroundings. If you grew up watching John Wayne films, you are gonna try and be that bad-ass indifferent dude, and if you grew up watching Jerry Maguire, You've Got Mail and the hundreds of other romantic comedies in the last decade, you will be more focused on romance.

 

[Answers]

Its a state of being... learn to attract women/money/whatever by being in the right state of mind.

 

[DonJuan11]

Among all of my friends, most are terrible at talking to and acting around women. Of course they are social so they don't get into awkward silences, but they always get in the friend zone.

So I've been wondering, are you born with the don juan skill, or do you parents/others teach it?

You can pick up Don Juan skills every Tuesday at 7-11 from 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm.

Bring comfortable shoes and turn cell phones off.

 

[Create Reality]

its both. you learn both through observation of what works and through trial and error. this site called sosuave will teach you the battleplan and then it's up to you and yo skills.

 

[xdreamz]

interesting question

i recall back in my preschool dayz, i was building little sandmountains with my friend and a pretty little japanese chick was right beside me. she said "do you want a kiss?" and i told her "yea"... she told me "kiss me first"...so i did and it smelled like boo boo... then she gave me a little kiss too.. after we would go on little double dates with my friend up the slide. they were good times of innocence and bliss.

as you grow up things get more complicated...

the internet has good information, you just have to know where to look. always be learning... don't listen to too much advice unless you're absolutely sure that that's the thing to do, and always stay true to who you are.

answer: yes but you can also learn more to get more.

 

[Yotsuya-san]

I think it can come from either. Some people are just born with this dominant alpha trait. Others learn it generally from their father.

Unfortunately, most of us in our generation are growing up without prominent father figures in our lives to lay the groundwork for our transition into manhood which results in a lot more AFCs.

"We're a generation of men raised by women." - Tyler Durden

It's not neccesarily just from lacking prominent father figures in the younger generations. Think of the prominent father figures of older generations (I mean any generation that is now over 30). There was not much freewheeling back then. That means not much use for "game" and women had little use for men who were like that. People were more traditional around the board. Those of my father's generation and before were married when they were in their early 20s, not djing. Getting married and raising a family was traditionally what was expected of the respectable citizen. You didn't need game, family and friends would introduce you to eligible bachelorettes. They didn't choose you, you chose them. If you or they were doing anything else, they would be subject to suspicion. BTW, I should mention that my parents are pre baby boomer generation so they were NOT at all influenced by the 1960s.

 

[JDA70]

Game: Inherited or Learned?

I'm saying it's a learned skill.

 

[Master Bates]

Some guys are naturals, some aren't. There are guys who just developed the right personality and had enough confidence that getting girls was never a problem for them. Those are true "naturals".

 

[Crazy Asian]

i was basically raised by my mom cause my dad was never home, and he never spends time with his kids. he just sits in him basement and smokes all day, and i rarely get to see him.

My mom actually had an idea of what this site is about though. She told me to be manly and find women that respects me. But whatever she said, she was still a women and i think that's why i became the biggest AFC of the school.

 

[Alkali]

It definitely isn't neither, it's both. Chemicals, which your parents provide for you, determine you're emotional and physiological behaviour. Genes also bless people with aesthetic beauty and intelligence, each of which in turn evokes either confidence or creates pensive introverts. Of course their are hundreds if not thousands of other variables that the Punnet square dips its greedy hands in to.

Nature inarguable plays a large part, but nurture typically has an even greater hand in determining an individuals social progress. Children with older sisters or with single mothers generally understand women better and, with this is mind, can more easily coax and prod the opposite gender to their desires. Manipulation is much easier on things you're very familiar with.

That isn't to say that it's a guarantee. Seeing a distraught or emotionally unstable single mother, which isn't uncommon, can predictably breed anxiety in her children which produces tension that ultimately stunts their progress with understanding and interacting with the opposite sex.

In the end, there are simply too many variables to comprehend, both nurture and nature have a profound effect, well, that's obvious, what else would really effect you, but whether equity is present or not it all depends on the individual.

 

[JeXiam]

The characteristics of a Don Juan can sometimes be inherited but it can also be learned through alot of situations. So pretty much both of them are the right answer.