Gaining that magnetic personality

[BlackMack177]

What's up fellas. got a question for ya

We talk a lot about gaining that "personality" that lights up the room. The personality that draws people to you. Having good conversational skills, and being witty. These are all things that go into self improvment, which is what I am looking for


I have always been a friendly person. I make friends easily just because i'm nice, but I want to be more than that. I have always felt my mouth piece was a little lacking. What I mean is that I can hold a convo with people, but nothing special. I get laughs (I have a one liner sense of humor) but I think I can do much better

It seems to come naturally for some people, and I want to get to that point. I tend to do better when I'm having fun, but I could do much better

I was thinking maybe broadening my horizons and learning more will make me better at talking, but simple having more to talk about doesn't make your conversation more engaging or you more charismatic

So basically i'm asking the guys who've done it. How did you go from dull yes-man to Mr. Charisma?

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

Take baby steps.

I used to be really shy. That changed when I started working as a personal trainer and was forced to talk to people.

Now I'm the polar opposite, if anything I'm a little too bold.

 

[FairShake]

One thing the most charismatic people I'VE ever known had in common is that they were also good people. They listened, remembered your name, talked about your family, sh!t like that. People like people that like them. Knowing when to share the spotlight is a huge help.

 

[Jariel]

One thing the most charismatic people I'VE ever known had in common is that they were also good people. They listened, remembered your name, talked about your family, sh!t like that. People like people that like them. Knowing when to share the spotlight is a huge help.

I couldn't agree more! I am one of those people with a magnetic personality and this is exactly why. I once heard charisma described as "the art of making people feel good" and by paying attention and showing interest in them, you make yourself more appealing to be around.

There's this big misunderstanding that a magnetic person is this guy who has lots of stories and jokes to tell, but if you've ever been in a group and you get that one person trying to steal the spotlight, you'll know how annoying they can be.

I often find myself in the spotlight, but it's not because I'm trying to promote myself or take over; it's because I involve everyone in that room/group and I lead the conversation.

Sometimes it's just little things, like greeting people by their name as you're passing, asking them how they are.

 

[kebman]

FairShake and Jariel know what they're talking about. But I have to ask: Do you want to be witty, or do you want to attract women?

"Attracting" women is really a misnomer, IMO. It isn't really about being "charismatic" or "witty", although it sure makes you a cooler person. Instead it's about opening, escalating, and talking to her the right way as you pull her home with you. So in a way you don't need to "attract" women. Instead you need to pull, and IMO charisma has very little to do with pulling.

Still charisma may get you in contact with more women, and it may give you higher social value so that more people give you a chance. Still, it's pulling power that gets the girl.

Also, isn't "being charismatic" a little fake? If you're a cool person, you will instantly be charismatic. So being charismatic is simply about being happy with yourself and not being affraid of showing your true self, and your true happiness, to the world. If you are such a man, other people will notice that you are uninhibited and nice, wich is a sign that you are confident - and if it's one thing that attracts women, it's confidence. But then confidence can be shown in many ways, and really the true test of confidence is that you have the balls to go for the girl that you like, despite the chance of rejection (and that's also why escalating is such a big compliment).

 

[HighResurrection]

From the Law of Success Napolean Hill, He said the basis for a pleasing personality is enthusiasm. How you do one things is how you do everything. Make sure that your doing what excites you for most of the day and also learning interesting things that your excited about.

 

[Slick101]

One thing the most charismatic people I'VE ever known had in common is that they were also good people. They listened, remembered your name, talked about your family, sh!t like that. People like people that like them. Knowing when to share the spotlight is a huge help.

Iv'e always been the leader/spotlight/comedian whatever you want to call it. I never had to practice it, my timing is and always was right when it came to words. I could talk my way out of everything, and I know alot about this topic.

I always memorize names, and to get in it deeper, I always have been told to have a strong magnetic personality.

You have to affect people

I analyze big time, and talk with them on deep levels and make them feel real special, and I do it because I actually care, I love to help.

But one thing that no one has mentioned is..

You have to set rules and boundries. This is what all charismatic people have in common. Never break your rules, and make sure others respect you.

Instant connection, trust me

 

[FairShake]

I will use myself as an example. I have my best connections with people that spend AT LEAST 50% of the time talking to me. When I'm TRYING to be the witty guy it never gets any further than them laughing at my antics. When I do AT LEAST 50% of the laughing you have more of a connection.

I make my best connections one on one. I either shrink away or awkwardly prevail in group conversations. But one on one I am so gold. Why? I think it's because I let them have their say and then some. I'm no magnetic person but I attract a little bit when I do this.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

BlackMack177,


The troops are droppin' a lot of good knowledge bombs on this thread. The only thing I'll add is this:

The people who we generally connect with easier and BETTER are the ones that we feel like are actually taking a REAL interest in "us". And I don't mean that in any kind of a fake, kiss-@as way. No, what I'm talking about is that the more you can entice people to participate in ANY conversation, the more they'll be invested in the outcome. And once they're invested in the outcome, many of them will talk to you nonstop.

Remember that a lot of people consider people who ACTIVELY "listen" to them are great conversationalist.

File this under "Strange, but TRUE", my friend.


V.U.

 

[TheMale]

if everyone adding some personal advice i'll do it too ;p
it's a little tip :
when someone talking to you if you want to be seen as a good listener just repeat in your head the last phrase of what they saying or the whole talk
but don't repeat that after repeat that together with them