G-Force journal

[G-Force]

Hello fellow students of the game. I've been inspired to do an approach journal and I will use this thread to document my progress.

A little bit of background on myself...

I'm 21, in college, not kissed a girl in years and never been laid. Don't think I'm a bad looking guy but I am painfully shy and have been pretty much all my life. No women in my social circle whatsoever. All my friends are guys. Over the past few months I had some bad health problems which resulted in me having to stay at home. As a result my social life took a big dip and I couldn't go clubbing, drinking etc. Over the past month or so my health has improved thank God and hopefully my social life will as well.

I've read a few sites. This one, BristolLair, CharismaArts, FastSeduction so now I need to go out in the field. Juggler's style from Charisma Arts seems like the style I'd be most comfortable with.

Here are some of my goals...

- Push myself out of my comfort zone

I intend to talk to people around my college and hopefully go out with my friends at the weekend. There are events around campus which I never attend so I'll try and change that situation. I need to try and engage people in conversation.

- Get stronger

This was something I told myself when I was unwell. When you're at your lowest ebb health-wise it motivates you to want to be as strong as possible so I plan on taking up a martial art and making myself tougher.

- Become more focused

I've always been quite lazy so I want to change this aspect of my life and become more disciplined. Need to get my work done, attend college, keep up my approaching etc.

- Get a bigger social circle

I read somewhere that a guy should aspire to have at least 3 female friends and 5 male friends so I intend to get a few phone numbers over the next few weeks.

I'll add some more goals if I feel the need to. Monday was my first attempt at approaching and I let myself down. I found myself sat beside a HB7 who from her body language looked bored and up for a conversation. Sadly I froze. I noticed her reading a French Revolution book and I'm studying history so there was an opportunity there to have a chat but I over-analysed too much. Then after that there was a 3-set who sat beside me and a blonde HB7 sat beside me. There was some light kino going on shoulder to shoulder and later her two friends left so there was an opportunity to chat with her - again I froze. It's OK though as I know it's not really failure as long as I learn from it and i intend to. I aim to document my experiences on Tuesday.

Hopefully this journal can provoke some thoughts and comments over the next few weeks. Thanks for hearing me out.

G.

 

[G-Force]

Had a bad day today. I let the fear get a hold of me. I got to college about 12 and was waiting for my class and saw a cute girl near me waiting to get in too. She seemed friendly and I should have said something to her. Alas I froze.

Later on when my class finished I decided to have a seat in the hall. There was a hot blonde girl sitting across from me and she was staring at me for a really long time. It was like she was piercing a hole right through me and I couldn't maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds. Bah! Something should have come from this, a conversation at least, but I wasn't able to do anything. Clearly I need a lot more work than I first realised. I hope some day soon I can handle situations like this and learn to outstare the HBs!

In terms of expanding my social circle nothing much came of the day. When I was in the library a HB8 approached me and asked me if I'd help her find a book for her on the top shelf as she was unable to reach. In hindsight I realise this was a golden opportunity to bust on her and tease her but instead I simply helped her and she went on her way. BORING! The only time I made the decision today to speak to someone was when I asked a guy next to me if he knew where I could get a journal. Got to fight the fear.

I've realised that I have two main problems stopping me from reaching my goals...

Problem # 1: Fear - Fear of being perceived as bothersome or a hassle. Fear of everyone around me observing my behaviour (self-conscious in a big way) and most of all the fear of the unknown. I can analyse situations for long periods when I procrastinate but simply speaking to somebody pushes me out of my comfort zone and makes me nervous.

Solution: Practice, practice, practice. I need to spend less time worrying about the outcome and more time enjoying and living in the moment. I need to let my inhibitions go and to smile once in a while. I need to say hello and good morning to people. I also need to realise that there's nothing wrong in striking up a friendly conversation with people and if they have a problem with that it's their issue, not mine.

Problem #2: Social imprisonment - Part of me doesn't want to change and is comfortable living the life I have lived up until now. It's an easier existence but it's not really a life.

Solution: Wednesday will see an improvement from me. I intend to go to a employment fair and those things are all about talking to people so that won't do me any harm. I also joined a computer game society some weeks back and they're having a get together so I'm thinking I'll head to that and hopefully make some friends.

Tuesday sucked balls for me but it was a wake-up call and I realise there is much work to be done.

 

[Jukeboxhero]

Hey G-force.

Nice journal here. I'm glad you've decided to start making changes in your life. You may have heard this before, but the first step is admitting you have a problem. Just be glad you're deciding to do something about it now. I'm 29 and pretty much in the same situation you are in..so don't get down on yourself.

I have some ideas that might help you a little too.

Tip 1. Try to get involved with a group that has one of the following

A. Some kind of physical excersize or activity that involves teamwork.
B. Guys that attract women. (which could also be A)
C. Groups with females involved (not nessecarily attractive, but any female interaction or female friends would probably be beneficial at to you at this point)
D. Any activity that might force you to be social with strangers for a cause.

Now, I'm not sure what kind of gaming group you're going to..but think twice about what they spend their time doing and if they are the kind of people you want to be like. If they're the kind of gamers that mostly just talk about the game the play and they're more involved with that then anything that involves women or improving their overall lifestyle and you think you might get to involved with them, then I might avoid them. If you want to make friends that's cool, but just make sure you aren't going to be talking about/playing D&D or WoW every night.

In short, hang out with people who are what you want to be and who are good at what you want to do so you can learn from them and improve yourself.

Tip 2.

When it comes to talking with attractive girls. Think of one of the following things to help you have a reason to start a convo with her.

1. What do her and I have in Common? (going to the same school is a good start)
2. What do you really want to know about her? (aside from what size her bra is). A good example would be what classes/major she has, what her interests are..etc
3. What subject do you both have opinions about.
This is a pretty broad subject and could be anything from "Did you hear about that party this weekend?" to "Omg, have you started studying for that HUGE exam?" or even typical celebrity gossip/fashion that chicks are usually into. You just have to make a judgement call about which would be the most appropriate for your situation.

 

[G-Force]

Thanks for the post Jukeboxhero. A lot of good advice there. I think you were right about having caution regarding that gaming group. It turned out to be on the subject of RPG games and it didn't sound like the kind of environment I'd want to be in right now. I did find out they do a coffee meeting on Fridays so that sounds like a sounder option.

Your advice on joining a group is interesting because I noticed a poster for a Hip-Hop class and while part of me sees it as a fun experience and a place to meet women, part of me is a bit embarrassed to do something like that. I'll give it some thought before making my mind up. I also like the advice about doing something social with strangers for a cause. I'd been thinking about that myself actually.

As for Wednesday it turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. I slept in late and ended up missing most of my classes. I even missed the careers fair I was planning on seeing, although I can catch it tomorrow. I only got one chat done which was with a girl who was with the judo club. She said I should come along on Thursday and try it out. I told her I might see her there. Was purely a platonic conversation though.

Nothing much else to report. I think I need to break down my long term objectives into shorter goals as I seem to be a bit aimless when I'm around the college. With that in mind here are my plans for Thursday...

- Make it to classes on time
- Sit next to people and make chit-chat
- Approach 3 girls over course of the day
- Attend some social event during the day

I'll report on my progress. On another note I feel I am in major need of a wardrobe revamp. If anyone has any advice on some stylish runners/shoes to get I'd appreciate it. Also on some nice tops too. I just pretty much wear hoodies which is a bit generic.

 

[G-Force]

Just got back from college. Thursday went better than the previous couple of days. I'm gradually coming out of my shell, though it's not been easy.

Regarding the goals I set for myself, I approached two girls today - though I had set myself a target of three. I made my classes on time today for once but I didn't engage in small-talk with anyone beside me, and I had an opportunity to, so the fact I didn't was a disappointment. I set a goal to attend some sort of social event but there wasn't anything on that caught my eye and I'm pretty much exhausted having only slept a few hours. Overall I'm pretty happy with how the day went. I want to accomplish much more but I suppose small steps are better than no steps. Here's how my approaches went today...

Approach # 1

She was a HB7 and was in my tutorial class.

Me: Hi, are you here for the tutorial yeah?
HB7: (smiling) I am yeah.

She had been speaking to some guy when I walked in. She then proceeded to take out her phone and text someone so I decided to leave her be. She wasn't rude or anything but she didn't look like she wanted a chat. I spotted her later on but I don't think she saw me. Could have approached her again but decided against it.

As for my tutorial class I was really annoyed with myself as I didn't speak out at all. I think the last couple of months of my ill health and seclusion from society have turned me from a quiet guy into a VERY socially inhibited guy. I suppose that's natural and I'm sure the more practice I get speaking to people the more confident I will feel in these situations. There were a few good looking girls in my class, one of which was a nice HB8. She did have the guts to speak out, albeit briefly. When the class was over I was pretty down on myself but I saw HB8 sitting down near the lunch area and for the first time since I started this journal I properly got some balls and went over to her. We had a good chat for about 10 minutes on a lot of topics. Here's a rough account of how certain topics went...

Approach # 2

Me: Hi, you were in my tutorial just now right?
HB8: Yeah.
Me: What did you think of it.
HB8: Was ****. I hated it.
Me: Yeah it's a very boring subject.
HB8: I didn't think it was going to be like that. (She proceeds to tell me what she thought it would be like)
Me: At least you were able to speak up though in the class.
HB8: (flattered) Oh yeah well I didn't really know what I was going on about.
Me: Better than me though. I wanted to say something but I was too bored to think of anything (a lie on my part)

There was basically a lot of fluff talk about college after that. What subjects we were doing, how we were finding it, how we did in exams, where we live, if we joined any clubs or societies, what we might want to do after college etc. She was really friendly and had a beautiful face. I wasn't really nervous which was good but I did find I stuttered over words and was talking pretty fast. I think this is down to me being rusty with conversations. She then told me her 21st was coming up and we chatted a bit about that.

Me: Oh you got anything special planned?
HB8: Ah probably not. Just a few drinks. My friend had hers recently and her boyfriend just stayed at the bar the entire night and didn't even see her!
Me: Hmm I'd say she wasn't impressed with that.
HB: She said she was going to kill him!
Me: And what was his excuse for not turning up?
HB8: He said he couldn't get a lift from somebody to reach her but he only lives like 10 minutes away!

She was funny and interesting. Me not so much. I was very self-conscious but I was pleased with how I was able to keep the conversation going. That seems to be the one strength of mine at the minute - coming up with topics to talk about. There wasn't much awkward pauses or anything which was a pleasant surprise. She was a chatty sort of girl which helped a lot. Anyway she got ready to leave after about 10 or 15 minutes as she had to photocopy some stuff. I made sure to get her name and tell her mine as I knew if I didn't the whole conversation would have been pretty useless. She said we'd probably see each other at the next tutorial class although that's not for another few weeks so hopefully it will be a lot sooner than that. She's in a lot of my classes so if I see her around I'll go over and say hello.

I was disappointed I didn't get my third approach in. There were a couple of opportunities. A mixture of laziness and nervousness prevented me. I've had times when it seems like I'm getting some flirtatious signals from girls such as prolonged eye contact, hair twirling and so on and if I can get comfortable in going up to random strangers and having a chat with them, then I feel my life will improve dramatically. I just need to be able to say f*ck you to my fear and do it. It reminds me of my first day in college this year when I was walking along and this attractive girl smiled at me and said "Hi, how are you?" Me being the total goof that I am replied, "Fine how are you?" before WALKING AWAY. If a girl can say this to me then there's really no reason why I can't say this to some girl. It's not like I'll be done for sexual harassment. Time to leave the 'don't talk to strangers' crap behind and be an adult. Hopefully I'll be able to.

Goals for Friday...

- Make my classes on time
- Get comfortable saying hello to people
- Approach 3 girls over course of the day
- Buy some new clothes

I'll report on my progress. Thursday was a bit of a mixed bag in that I didn't fulfil certain goals but on the plus side at least I'm no longer a complete stranger to everybody in my year. One person knows my name and that's a start. More to come here's hoping...

 

[G-Force]

I haven't been able to update the journal recently as I was not feeling my best either physically or mentally. Lot of stress going on with me at the minute but I returned to college today and got an approach done on a HB7 as I was leaving a lecture:

Approach #3

Me: Hi have you started your essay yet?
HB7: No not yet. I need to start it soon though.
Me: Yeah time flies by in this place doesn't it?
HB7: Yeah it sure does.

(There was a lull here but it got back on track thanks to her)

HB7: Hey did you hear what the lecturer said about the 5 things we need to know? I came in late so I missed it.
Me: Yeah I got them. Would you like me to tell you them?
HB7: Please yeah that would help me out.

(I called out the points to her and she wrote them down)

HB7: Thanks a lot.
Me: So what other subject are you doing?
HB7: I'm doing English.
Me: Have you lots of work to do in that?
HB7: Yeah I've four essays to do for next week.
Me: Wow, have you started any?
HB7: I've only done one.
Me: Hey do you find you tend to do better the nearer the deadline approaches? (I did a bit of kino here by lightly touching her arm as I asked)
HB7: Yeah I know what you mean! I'm like that too. So do you live on campus?
Me: Nah I live across town.
HB7: I'd say you have a long journey here yeah?
Me: Yeah it's pretty long. What about you?
HB7: Yeah I'm living on campus.
Me: Oh right. So what's your name?
HB7: I'm ___
Me: I'm G-Force.
HB7: Hi. I don't really know too many people here.
Me: Likewise. I took time off last year so all my old friends have graduated. Kind of been on my alone a lot. At least I know you now though.
HB7: Yeah you've made one friend at least! Well I'm heading this way now (I was going the other way)
Me: Ok then. Good luck with your essay!
HB7: Yeah you too!

I needed this conversation as I had earlier spurned good chances to open girls and was feeling a bit down and depressed. The conversation was fun although I get tongue-tied an awful lot. I'm not used to talking to people really. It was very much a friendly chat and nothing more but I'm a loner in the college at the minute so I need as many friends as I can get. With that being the case I'll take today as a positive.

I did get a bit downhearted later on as there was a stunning blonde HB9 beside me at the bus stop but I didn't open her. It was a shame as the bus took an age and there was time to have a good chat. To make matters worse when we finally got on the bus she sat next to me and everything. I was going to say "That was a long wait, huh?" but I just froze and so alas we rode the bus to our destination in stony silence.

The idea of talking to strangers doesn't seem as daunting to me now though. It's mainly the ice-breaker that is stressing me out but hopefully I'll get over that and start enjoying some interactions.

Goals for Friday:

- Get to classes on time
- Attempt a conversation with 3 people
- Buy some new clothes