G/f trouble

[ubercat]

Heh heh I know most of you guys will say the trouble is that I've got a girlfriend but let's let that 1 go through to the keeper for now.

Basic situation is I told my girlfriend off for changing our plans at the last minute. I was pretty direct about it. To be honest I was blowing it up a little bit to go for the emotional spike.

Well we had make-up sex all night so it seemed all good. The next day she blew up my phone with these drama texts. Seems to be a pattern with her that she festers a day later. This was our first decent fight and she's said I loved you a few times.

She cancelled our usual Wednesday night sleep over. She's done this once in the past when I was catching up socially with an ex. Of course Asian girls are normally insanely jealous. So it seems like this is becoming a little bit of a PowerPlay. I'm wondering if I should be too busy next Wednesday to make the point.

Now because I was playing it for the emotional swing I apologized profusely. She's generally a good quality girl but I'm certainly not in love so if it ends as always so be it. Frankly I'm so damned busy at the moment that a break from women wouldn't bother me at all.

How do you guys normally play these little bust ups. Go NC for a few days?

 

[dustmuffin]

Will you see her before the next sleep over?

 

[Desdinova]

How do you guys normally play these little bust ups. Go NC for a few days?

Yeah, I usually go NC until I hear from her. A woman will usually start to fear that her behaviour will cause you to leave. You don't have to respond immediately when she does contact you, but you need to respond.

She's generally a good quality girl but I'm certainly not in love

Good, then you won't mind experimenting for the sake of learning

 

[ubercat]

@dustmuffin Depends how I play it. Normally we go out Saturday as well. I was thinking of going NC and then making a date like nothing had happened.

Btw we ve been going out 6 months so it may be that the honeymoon is over and the mask is beginning to slip.

@Desdinova absolutely. Note: I apologized for how it made her feel not what I said.

Although I do have to confess what I d forgotten is that it's her ragtime this week. So it wasn't a brilliant idea practicing emotional fluctuation

 

[Desdinova]

Although I do have to confess what I d forgotten is that it's her ragtime this week. So it wasn't a brilliant idea practicing emotional fluctuation

That only means she's going to swing a bit harder. Give her time.

 

[dustmuffin]

@dustmuffin Depends how I play it. Normally we go out Saturday as well. I was thinking of going NC and then making a date like nothing had happened.

This sounds like a good plan.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Uber,
Just a little spat.....With the Chinese even at the lower end of the Social table,the mark of a Man is his ability to exert self control...You spat the Dummy and lost points...However,she would lose face amongst her Girl friends if you parted so just ignore it and carry on normally...that will do the trick...Remember Chinese rarely confront conflict they see it as a Tsunami,they let it wash over them then surface after it has passed,come back to niggle away at the problem,they are a race with incredible,patience and persistance and usually get their own way in the end LOL.

 

[ubercat]

@Scar ur a crack up. Thanks. That does explain the pattern of behaviour. So this is interesting. If I understand you are saying that playing for emotional spikes is counterproductive with Chinese girls. @Desdinova care to comment?

The upshot was both sides took a step forward. After 2 days NC I made a date for Saturday like nothing had happened. She agreed but was a bit cool.

Then on the Thursday she asked me to the movies for Friday. Actually the last thing I want to do after sitting on my ass all day in my office job. But I play the old doc love principal of always accepting when it's incoming. Anyway I chose Independence Day resurgence and made her buy the tickets so still keeping my balls intact.

She came over Saturday night slept over, hung around and stayed on Sunday night. I cooked she cleaned up. She dealt with my clean washing mountain while I was working on the roof. Then came and watched me play tennis. Going over to her apartment tonight Tuesday as she wants to cook me some special dishes..

Plenty of investment. As Scar predicted she did revisit the war and I just brushed it off like it was done and of no further interest to me

So yeah she did seem to swing hard back. I was happy to play house but I'll make sure that I'm not too available on the weekends.

This girl bills herself as strong and independent and she's been in Australia for over 10 years. It's really a beautiful thing to watch her Asian girl DNA reasserting itself and rejecting all that feminist BS.

 

[Desdinova]

If I understand you are saying that playing for emotional spikes is counterproductive with Chinese girls. @Desdinova care to comment?

I have no clue since I've never dated a Chinese woman. I dated a Japanese one, but I wasn't interested enough to keep things going.

The effectiveness of the emotional spikes are highly dependent on the woman. Some women need the spikes to be large. Some only require small ones. The best way to figure out how to dish yours out is to observe how much drama she keeps in her life. If she's relatively drama-free, she won't require large spikes to remain interested. If her life is full of crazy 5hit, your spikes need to be large enough to measure up with the ones she already has going on.

 

[ubercat]

Thanks Des makes sense. I normally go for quiet ltr oriented girls so sounds like I might be over cooking it.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Uber,
With due deference to Des,give the emotional responses a miss,she is a nice Girl...Unlike a Western Woman,the traditional Chinese Woman having made a protracted decision to accept you into her life,will see this as pretty well irreversible...She wouldn't be able to comprehend what games are all about.....She has told the significant people in her life,friends and Parents,that you two are an item,after long consideration,they have advised her that she should seal the deal.....She would lose face if she could not keep you around...Ten years out of China?....LOL...You may take the Girl out of China,but you can't take China out of the Girl...Two thousand Years ago,our Ancestors were running around in Animal Hides with Woad on their Faces....This Woman is heiress to six thousand years of Civilisation... Anglo-Celts are seen by Chinese as uncivilised,uncultured Puppies...Lordie we are not yet Homogenised,Red hair,Blond Hair,Brunettes,Black heads,straight hair,curly hair,quite puzzling to Folk from the Middle Kingdom!

 

[Julian]

How did she change your plans? What were the plans and why did she change them?

 

[ubercat]

Thanks Scar in a way Des said the same thing. @Julian plans were an amusement park with a meetup group. Not meeting real friends so no biggie it was more around setting expectations and trying to get her to be more realistic about managing time. She was at a Yum Cha with her friends and had been for hours.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Uber,
Your last post is interesting....One must appreciate that to a Mainland Chinese,meeting Friends means eating,a noisy long drawn out procedure...The French and other Family Oriented Nationalities are similar...Be grateful that she is not claustrophobic,it's a wonderful opportunity to indulge your interests and hobbies...being a Nurse she will be good at time management...If her squandering of time leaves you short on Svex,tell her,she will remedy the situation...believe me when they are hanging around you all the time they become a nuisance...there is an enormous Gulf between the interests of Men and Women,when you complicate this even further by introducing a cultural element,the cost versus benefit line needs to be examined...When you diverge from the Dating norm in finding a culturally compatible partner,you should maybe listen when your friends ask why?

 

[ubercat]

Yeah you're right I probably should cut some extra slack for yum cha it is kind of a religious thing with them. You're so absolutely right about hanging out too much. I do tend to cut back on my interests over Winter a bit so I need to get out there again

 

[hithard]

Asian girls get insanely jealous. They also get massively butt hurt when you scold them. Because she has been in AUS for so long she might have picked up some western girls bad habits.
But if you blow them up, then after you just act normal (joking mood works best) while feeding some affection.
Never apologize in fact state you were right
" Yeah I don't like when you do that".
Generally they will correct their behavior. Asian men will scream at them, beat them and cheat on them without a second thought. They can take ten times the $hit a western female can. Just don't turn an event into an issue.

 

[LiveFreeX]

You don't hardly need to do sh1t buddy. You could be the biggest ****hole in the world and that mount is gonna stay by your side for as long as you can hold on.

Asians are super easy to train, very loyal and will bite your head off if you fvk with them but that's what makes them fun.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_Dragon

The last time I had a big ish fight with my wife (a year or so ago), I literally RAN away from her, went down about 5 side streets and finally sat down beside a large pond. 10 minutes later she quietly sat down beside me. Asian chicks have no ability to stay mad at their riders, eventually loyalty gets the best of them and they realize they're nothing without a rider. She didn't apologize or anything, she just sat there quietly and when I got up to move away, she followed me lockstep. Its hard to stay mad at somebody who is in 24/7 affection mode. To Chinese, family is everything, you can talk a lot of sh1t but you never mess with family.

 

[ubercat]

Thanks guys a bit more trouble in paradise this weekend. She's playing the busy card. Which I didn't see coming from an Asian chick. Time for me to become very scarce. If this sort of passive aggressive behaviour continues it ain't going to have legs

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Uber,
Well that is interesting isn't it?...Shows the value of having Plates on the side...Of course She could be genuine...Could you keep us all posted on developments?

 

[ubercat]

@Mauser96 getting back to my original post, when you're advising to just withdraw attention how would you play it on that day?

Normally with puppies the punishment has to come immediately or they just can't make the connection.

Are you saying if we went out with the group pay more attention to the group and Less to her than I would normally?

Only downside I could see with that is she is an attractive girl and then I'm probably going to have guys cracking on which would lead to more drama?

Or are you saying act like nothing has happened on the day and then withdraw attention over the next week?