"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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G/F getting numbers

Squidward

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So far, thanks to all the advice so far on the board, I've learnt a lot!

Got another question for you guys though.

I was in college today and before leaving, my G/F shouts of me and we kissed and exchanged small talk. There was a group of four lads in front of me and a few moments later he hands her back her phone, which obviously means hes gave her his number. They didn't say anything else to each other. I assume they are just old friends from High School since I've seen them around her before.

I'm right to assume that this means nothing at all? My G/F has a high interest level, sex is often and she can't get enough of me.

Thanks guys!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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slaog

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Ask her why he had her phone. Don't make it look like you're jealous or angry, just curious. Ask her did she know him.


You have a right to know if you are her boyfriend. Giving her number out to guys she don't know is unacceptable if it's for the wrong reasons.


In the meantime theres no reason not to trust her so don't worry about it.
 

Squidward

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Well, I won't see her until tomorrow. I mean, when I was around her, I didn't act upset or jealous. Would asking put the ball in her court?
 

Sandow

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You should always stand ur ground. If you never ask questions she'll see u as a pushover and easy to control. Never be afraid to let her know where you stand. Though, if you do ask her, don't sound jealous, just ask her straight up or playfully tease her or say something C&F.

BTW it means nothing at all. LOL she would have to be a moron to do that right in front of you if it did mean something.
 

WC2

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In my experience, what's going to happen is going to happen.

A lot of men would freak out over this and assume outright that their girl is obviously taking a number down for a booty call later on.

While this may be true, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. You can't stop your girl from sleeping with other men by reprimanding her. If anything, this will make her want to f*ck with you more.

With that said, I'd just keep a close eye. If she does it right under your nose again, maybe it's time to start rethinking your relationship.

You're right, a number could be harmless. However, if it keeps occurring she's obviously spreading hr number out for different reasons.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Squidward

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Thanks guys. I think asking questions can be a double edged sword. WC2, I totally agree. You shouldn't worry about things you can't control.
 

Vypros

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Squidward said:
which obviously means hes gave her his number.
Assumption.

It doesn't mean anything. It's a good assumption, but it's not "obvious" that's what happened.

First of all, what other things could he have been doing with her phone? He could be looking at pictures she has on there, reading a funny text she wanted to show him, or, and this one is a huge possibility, he could've been borrowing her phone to make a phone call. Don't make assumptions that because he handed her back her phone that it means he gave her his number. Unless, of course, she has given you ANY reason whatsoever to make you not trust her. But if that's the case, you shouldn't be with her.

Secondly, if you don't ask you will never know. Like others have said, if you don't start accusing her and just ask her in a non-threatening way, she probably would have told you.

Thirdly, she's in college. I can remember many times when we'd get hooked up with partners on a project and we'd all exchange numbers so that we could find a time to get together to work on a project. Knowing nothing about the situation, you are immediately assuming the "worst."

Finally, if your girlfriend is attractive, you're going to get this. Obviously she shouldn't even be accepting phone numbers from guys, but even if she doesn't there are a myriad of guys at any given moment who want to get into her pants. But she's going home with YOU. She chose YOU. Exhibiting jealous, over-bearing, and controlling behavior (such as making ridiculous assumptions) will only drive her to do the things you don't want to happen.

In short, communicate with her. Ask her what's up. Talk to her. The more you just sit around trying to second guess what she is doing, the more you paint negative pictures in your mind about what has happened.
 

trv26

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Squidward said:
They didn't say anything else to each other. I assume they are just old friends from High School since I've seen them around her before.
Why assume? Throw in a question next time about who they are next time you see her around them.
 

Squidward

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Vypros said:
Assumption.

It doesn't mean anything. It's a good assumption, but it's not "obvious" that's what happened.

First of all, what other things could he have been doing with her phone? He could be looking at pictures she has on there, reading a funny text she wanted to show him, or, and this one is a huge possibility, he could've been borrowing her phone to make a phone call. Don't make assumptions that because he handed her back her phone that it means he gave her his number. Unless, of course, she has given you ANY reason whatsoever to make you not trust her. But if that's the case, you shouldn't be with her.

Secondly, if you don't ask you will never know. Like others have said, if you don't start accusing her and just ask her in a non-threatening way, she probably would have told you.

Thirdly, she's in college. I can remember many times when we'd get hooked up with partners on a project and we'd all exchange numbers so that we could find a time to get together to work on a project. Knowing nothing about the situation, you are immediately assuming the "worst."

Finally, if your girlfriend is attractive, you're going to get this. Obviously she shouldn't even be accepting phone numbers from guys, but even if she doesn't there are a myriad of guys at any given moment who want to get into her pants. But she's going home with YOU. She chose YOU. Exhibiting jealous, over-bearing, and controlling behavior (such as making ridiculous assumptions) will only drive her to do the things you don't want to happen.

In short, communicate with her. Ask her what's up. Talk to her. The more you just sit around trying to second guess what she is doing, the more you paint negative pictures in your mind about what has happened.
Thanks for the wake up call thier mate. I've always seen assumption as the worst habit of mine when it comes to relationships. I not over-bearing or controlling, as I know that is extremely harmful to any relationship with anyone. But I think the biggest mistake of mine from becomign less jealous and insecure, is asking less, assuming more.
 

MattS

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geez dude just ask her. "Be like oh who was that?" Then if she gets p1ssy or defensive just say "well im your bf so i think i have a right to ask can you blame me?" Then shell say no and answer your question.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Jakes21

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Like the saying goes "assumptions is the mother of all f1ckups"..i am also going through sum "assuming" issues with my gf but after reading this post i see my sitsuation a bit different.DONT ASSUME.
 

DonGorgon

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Squidward said:
I assume they are just old friends from High School since I've seen them around her before.

lol... you have chosen denial in the form of assumption... she likes him so she took his number and he will call to try and F her.. This happened in front of you which is tragic...

what do you do?

nothing... except immidiately go get you 3 new F options and become emotionally distant with your girl with no explanation (she does not deserve one)... keep getting what you want from her but remember she is disrespectful to you and does not give a damn.
 
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