"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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G/F getting numbers

Squidward

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So far, thanks to all the advice so far on the board, I've learnt a lot!

Got another question for you guys though.

I was in college today and before leaving, my G/F shouts of me and we kissed and exchanged small talk. There was a group of four lads in front of me and a few moments later he hands her back her phone, which obviously means hes gave her his number. They didn't say anything else to each other. I assume they are just old friends from High School since I've seen them around her before.

I'm right to assume that this means nothing at all? My G/F has a high interest level, sex is often and she can't get enough of me.

Thanks guys!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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slaog

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Ask her why he had her phone. Don't make it look like you're jealous or angry, just curious. Ask her did she know him.


You have a right to know if you are her boyfriend. Giving her number out to guys she don't know is unacceptable if it's for the wrong reasons.


In the meantime theres no reason not to trust her so don't worry about it.
 

Squidward

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Well, I won't see her until tomorrow. I mean, when I was around her, I didn't act upset or jealous. Would asking put the ball in her court?
 

Sandow

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You should always stand ur ground. If you never ask questions she'll see u as a pushover and easy to control. Never be afraid to let her know where you stand. Though, if you do ask her, don't sound jealous, just ask her straight up or playfully tease her or say something C&F.

BTW it means nothing at all. LOL she would have to be a moron to do that right in front of you if it did mean something.
 

WC2

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In my experience, what's going to happen is going to happen.

A lot of men would freak out over this and assume outright that their girl is obviously taking a number down for a booty call later on.

While this may be true, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. You can't stop your girl from sleeping with other men by reprimanding her. If anything, this will make her want to f*ck with you more.

With that said, I'd just keep a close eye. If she does it right under your nose again, maybe it's time to start rethinking your relationship.

You're right, a number could be harmless. However, if it keeps occurring she's obviously spreading hr number out for different reasons.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Squidward

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Thanks guys. I think asking questions can be a double edged sword. WC2, I totally agree. You shouldn't worry about things you can't control.
 

Vypros

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Squidward said:
which obviously means hes gave her his number.
Assumption.

It doesn't mean anything. It's a good assumption, but it's not "obvious" that's what happened.

First of all, what other things could he have been doing with her phone? He could be looking at pictures she has on there, reading a funny text she wanted to show him, or, and this one is a huge possibility, he could've been borrowing her phone to make a phone call. Don't make assumptions that because he handed her back her phone that it means he gave her his number. Unless, of course, she has given you ANY reason whatsoever to make you not trust her. But if that's the case, you shouldn't be with her.

Secondly, if you don't ask you will never know. Like others have said, if you don't start accusing her and just ask her in a non-threatening way, she probably would have told you.

Thirdly, she's in college. I can remember many times when we'd get hooked up with partners on a project and we'd all exchange numbers so that we could find a time to get together to work on a project. Knowing nothing about the situation, you are immediately assuming the "worst."

Finally, if your girlfriend is attractive, you're going to get this. Obviously she shouldn't even be accepting phone numbers from guys, but even if she doesn't there are a myriad of guys at any given moment who want to get into her pants. But she's going home with YOU. She chose YOU. Exhibiting jealous, over-bearing, and controlling behavior (such as making ridiculous assumptions) will only drive her to do the things you don't want to happen.

In short, communicate with her. Ask her what's up. Talk to her. The more you just sit around trying to second guess what she is doing, the more you paint negative pictures in your mind about what has happened.
 

trv26

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Squidward said:
They didn't say anything else to each other. I assume they are just old friends from High School since I've seen them around her before.
Why assume? Throw in a question next time about who they are next time you see her around them.
 

Squidward

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Vypros said:
Assumption.

It doesn't mean anything. It's a good assumption, but it's not "obvious" that's what happened.

First of all, what other things could he have been doing with her phone? He could be looking at pictures she has on there, reading a funny text she wanted to show him, or, and this one is a huge possibility, he could've been borrowing her phone to make a phone call. Don't make assumptions that because he handed her back her phone that it means he gave her his number. Unless, of course, she has given you ANY reason whatsoever to make you not trust her. But if that's the case, you shouldn't be with her.

Secondly, if you don't ask you will never know. Like others have said, if you don't start accusing her and just ask her in a non-threatening way, she probably would have told you.

Thirdly, she's in college. I can remember many times when we'd get hooked up with partners on a project and we'd all exchange numbers so that we could find a time to get together to work on a project. Knowing nothing about the situation, you are immediately assuming the "worst."

Finally, if your girlfriend is attractive, you're going to get this. Obviously she shouldn't even be accepting phone numbers from guys, but even if she doesn't there are a myriad of guys at any given moment who want to get into her pants. But she's going home with YOU. She chose YOU. Exhibiting jealous, over-bearing, and controlling behavior (such as making ridiculous assumptions) will only drive her to do the things you don't want to happen.

In short, communicate with her. Ask her what's up. Talk to her. The more you just sit around trying to second guess what she is doing, the more you paint negative pictures in your mind about what has happened.
Thanks for the wake up call thier mate. I've always seen assumption as the worst habit of mine when it comes to relationships. I not over-bearing or controlling, as I know that is extremely harmful to any relationship with anyone. But I think the biggest mistake of mine from becomign less jealous and insecure, is asking less, assuming more.
 

MattS

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geez dude just ask her. "Be like oh who was that?" Then if she gets p1ssy or defensive just say "well im your bf so i think i have a right to ask can you blame me?" Then shell say no and answer your question.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Jakes21

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Like the saying goes "assumptions is the mother of all f1ckups"..i am also going through sum "assuming" issues with my gf but after reading this post i see my sitsuation a bit different.DONT ASSUME.
 

DonGorgon

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Squidward said:
I assume they are just old friends from High School since I've seen them around her before.

lol... you have chosen denial in the form of assumption... she likes him so she took his number and he will call to try and F her.. This happened in front of you which is tragic...

what do you do?

nothing... except immidiately go get you 3 new F options and become emotionally distant with your girl with no explanation (she does not deserve one)... keep getting what you want from her but remember she is disrespectful to you and does not give a damn.
 
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